Reviews with content warning for Pregnancy - My Policeman

I wanted to read this book due to the upcoming film and as a Harry Styles fan, I wanted to get ahead and read the book before watching the film. I hate to say this, and it always kills me, I hope and pray that the film is better because this book was rough.

From the moment Marion first lay eyes on Tom – her best friend’s big brother, broad, blond, blue-eyed – she is smitten. And when he comes home from the National Service to be a policeman, Marion who is a newly qualified teacher is determined to win him. Unable to acknowledge the signs that something is amiss, she plunges into this marriage, sure that her love is enough for both of them. But Tom has another life, another equally overpowering claim on his affections. Patrick who is a curator at the Brighton Museum, is also besotted with his policeman, and opens Tom’s eyes to a world previously unknown to him. But in an age when those of “minority status” were condemned by society and the law, it is safer for this policeman to marry his childhood friend. The two lovers must share him, until one of them breaks and three lives are destroyed. This book is set in 1950s in Brighton.

This book was tough. I was expecting it to be a gay love story from either Patrick’s and Tom’s point of view. Having half of the book in Marion’s point of view, wasn’t expected and dragged. I was wanting more for forbidden love story that just sort of never happen. I feel like there was too many gaps in this book. One minute Marion and Tom are children, then teenagers, then old, but then not old again. It all got very confusing. I struggled to get into this book and fell like it was one big rant. I would have loved to maybe have a few chapters from the “minor” characters like Sylvie and Michael and to hear what they thought. I would have loved some chapters from Tom’s point of view and seeing how he felt, we only know how we think he felt from Marion and Patrick’s point of view. Marion was horrible, horrible woman. She knew what she was signing up for and expected Tom to change who he was for her.

Overall, this book is not a love story or a forbidden romance. It is a brutal and a difficult read especially from what happened to Patrick whilst he was trying to live his true life. I hope to God for once they change the ending of in this book in the movie adaptation.

Content Warnings

hannahrogers's review against another edition

Go to review page

emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

itsocchiolism's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

***** FULL OF SPOILERS****

Nothing is black and white in this book. Not a choice and not a relationship or dynamic between anyone. Everything is just complicated and painful for everyone.

It’s not “you hurt me and I hate you” , it’s more “you hurt me & I understand why you did it, but I still have a right to feel betrayed and angry. And I love you and I don’t know how to stop doing that, how to leave or how to fix this”

It’s “I know that you wish that I was braver, and that you tolerate the crumbs of love I give you, but I’m scared. And I know you deserve better but I’m here and I hope you can share me”

It’s “I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you in my life, even if it means becoming close with someone & using her for our advantage. I don’t want to hurt her, nothing of this is her fault, I don’t wanna ruin her pride but at the same time I will do anything to be with you”

These characters felt so human. They are selfless and selfish, they are kind and ruthless, they are loyal and not. All at once.

Marion made a terrible choice when she decided to send that letter, if she would’ve known how dangerous the situation was she would’ve never done it because she didn’t want to risk putting Tom in danger. She knew how much Patrick meant to Tom, and she knew that hurting Patrick would hurt her husband as well. I found myself very frustrated with her in several parts of the book, but I think it’s just encompassing the bigger theme that is a woman’s place in society. At the time Marion admitted that she wouldn’t know how to leave Tom. It’s only at the end that she realizes that leaving is the only thing that she can do. That she has lost so much time, and she’s been a fool, and she can do it on her own- she can leave. She finds that self respect that she should’ve so much earlier on. But only after taking care of Patrick and doing everything that she can to forgive herself and earn their forgiveness. While at the same time letting them be happy by removing herself from the equation, and hoping that they can be alone together at the end.

It’s upsetting to me to see everybody bashing Marion so ruthlessly. Yes she did an awful, terrible and maybe even unforgivable thing, but where is the empathy for this woman, who is suffering the betrayal of her life? Try to put yourself in her shoes. You married the presumed love of your life and you become friends with his friend only to find out years later that your husband is actually gay, doesn’t romantically love you, and is definitely having an affair with his friend. Someone you have dined with, and gone to the theater with, & and on vacation and has been a huge part of your life for years. And not ever receiving an apology from either one of them.

Patrick and Tom are not guilt free, they are not innocent. they both took advantage of Marion. Tom by marrying her so he would be in a good societal standard, all while having a secret life and a love affair with the man he really loved. And Patrick also took advantage of Marion & in the security that she brought to his relationship with Tom.

I would say that ultimately it’s society‘s fault for the way that they misstreated queer people back then. That Patrick and Tom did what they could to do to stay together and to keep that sliver of happiness that they found with each other. And that Marion was just trying to save her marriage.

it’s no one‘s fault which makes this story so tragic.

I like to think that if it could’ve been avoided, Tom would have never married Marion. That him and Patrick would’ve been happy together and Marion would’ve moved on from her little crush on Tom and she would have found a husband that was fitting for her and it all would’ve worked out. but that’s in a perfect society, which is not the case here. so again I will reiterate that even though they all made mistakes they were doing what they thought was best.

I do wish we would have seen Tom’s perspective, I inferred as much as i could about his character, but it was a bit hard because we only saw him through the eyes of two people that were deeply in love with him. I think we don’t really get to know the character at all, it was more of an image of how his lover and his wife perceived him.

All the characters made terrible choices, they all had their reasons, their motives, and I can see each of their sides and stories. I think it was a beautifully told story, I loved the writing, the imagery, the feelings that it evoked in me. I felt protectiveness over them all in spite of everything, I wanted them all to be happy and find joy and peace with themselves.

Content Warnings

toofondofbooks_'s review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Yes, Harry Styles made me read this. I will not be taking critiques at this time.

This book tells the story of Marion, Tom, & Patrick. Tom is a young police officer that Patrick and Marion are both in love with - she as his wife, and he, as his lover in a time where it was illegal to be gay in the UK. The tale unravels from Marion and Patrick's perspectives in dual timelines and as the reader you come to see that no one in this book is an innocent - they each have their pain and they each inflict pain on each other in different ways, and it's often extremely sad to read, but the humanity and messiness of these characters are what made this book so readable and engaging to me, so that was the main thing I liked about it. The writing, too, I thought was gorgeous.

Some issues I had - I don't mind an age gap in a relationship as long as it's ethical as well as legal. Tom and Patrick's age gap itself didn't bother me, but I often felt a little grossed out by the way Patrick was always referencing Tom's youth, his boyishness. It felt....eeeehhh, weird. Didn't love that.

Other than that, I just have this feeling that there was something missing for me during this book. I can't figure out what it was exactly, and if I figure it out, I'll gladly post an update, but whatever it was, it left me feeling that I couldn't give this above a 3 even though I did enjoy it for the most part.

Content Warnings