Reviews with content warning for Sexual content - If You Still Recognise Me

Reviews tagging 'Sexual content'

If You Still Recognise Me by Cynthia So

7 reviews

evelynyle_88's review

emotional lighthearted fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Finally after a long time on my tbr, I decided to take this book and started to read it. I feel like this book is so sweet and the story is so heartwarming. I smile everytime I read such cute moments in this book. I love Elsie, Joan and Ritika a lot. And oh! Ada too!

This book is so perfect. Perfect to finish reading it on my birthday with a smile plastered on my face. I need more heartwarming stories like this.

Thank you so much, Cynthia for writing this heartwarming story of Elsie (and Joan; of course!). I must say, I love the ending. Nothing more to say about their dynamic. You are brilliant!

Content Warnings

bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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emotional funny mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

The worst thing is that I’ve never been able to figure out whether this sense of being set apart from others is something that I’ve internalized, so that I just feel like I’m unwelcome because of my long history of not fitting in, or whether it’s something that’s really happening to me in the actual moment, that I really am being treated differently, in a way I can’t articulate but can only feel because life has made me uniquely sensitive to it.

I absolutely adored this story about Elsie, Joan, and all of the queer honeys around them! This is everything I love about contemporary YA coming-of-age stories.

Chinese-British 18-year-old Elsie's exploration with her gender expression and her unrequited feelings for her online fandom bestie Ada (biracial Nigerian American) were so incredibly tender and moving. I cannot believe this is Cynthia So's first novel because they masterfully wrote a story with a carefully subdued, but artfully introspective narrative.

This book was packed with so many magical and beautiful themes and tenets of queerness, growth, and community! First of all, I could not get over how delightful the representation of fandom culture was! Elsie and Ada first connected through virtual fandom spaces due to their love of comic book series Eden Recoiling, and end up talking every day, becoming close friends. Elsie's crush that she develops on Ada is SO REAL OMG!

Elsie did "the most" by searching for Ada's grandma Rebecca's long lost "friend," Theresa as a way to impress and make a grand gesture for Ada, but here's the thing. I have been there. I can't sit here and pretend I didn't pull some embarrassingly extra and sometimes invasive bullshit to prove I was good enough for someone I had a crush on, while I was in this state of "PLEASE LOVE ME" and needing validation like air. Simultaneously, it's almost self-sabotage-ing as well, because you then get to say, "See? I'm horrible and they would never like me." It's a pitiful circle of despair and insecurity, and it's incredibly relatable and authentic to being a young adult and fumbling as you figure it out.

Ada and Elsie do discuss how it was invasive and Elsie should have communicated that she had interest in doing this. It did invade Ada, Rebecca's, and Theresa's privacy regardless. I don't condone anyone disrespecting anyone else's privacy! I do appreciate that Ada and Elsie had an honest dialogue about doing better in the future though, and Elsie is lucky it turned out okay! I think this goes to show none of us are infallible, and we have to take accountability and be fully transparent when we do miss the mark. Elsie does learn this lesson, however messy it was! And I do think she was projecting her own feelings onto this quest too, as she spent 7 years wondering what happened with her long lost best friend Joan, and 8 years wondering why she no longer saw her Uncle Kevin. Rediscovery is such a powerful theme in this book!

Siri, play "love is embarrassing" by Olivia Rodrigo. CS absolutely read us (read: past friendships that you look back on and think, 'omg, that was SO gay of me to pine after my bestie and I didn't even know it) to filth with the pining, longing, angst, second-guessing, embarrassment, daydreaming, and hope that comes with crushes, especially those we endured on our besties.

Another part of this book that I deeply appreciated was the representation across the board and the diversity of Elsie's family and friends group. There is an ace side character (won't say who so I don't spoil it for you!), Joan, our super hot masc butch lesbian, Elsie who is bi and queer/questioning her gender expression as she navigates a bit of dysmorphia and examining when she truly feels like *herself*, and multiple ethnicities represented too! Elsie's other sapphic bestie Ritika is Indian-British, and I actually think she handled most of the unprompted mess from Elsie very well - she was so direct, honest, and patient lol. I love a cast like this because it represents the world I live in. It represents the world I see when I go to the bookstore, or to the library, or to the shopping mall! I would absolutely watch a Freeform or Netflix tv show about these kids' coming-of-age stories!

Another part of this was the generational representation of elder queer folks, like Rebecca and Theresa.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention Uncle Kevin's introduction and his backstory, especially the disowning by his parents/Elsie's grandparents. Elsie's curiosity and determination in finding Theresa to reunite her with Rebecca, along with her wonder as to what happened to her uncle Kevin is so tender!

My friend @atmreads (IG) recently has been talking about how they want to see their communities grow old. Reading about elder queer folks who were just as dynamic, lively, hopeful, fierce, and full of self, platonic and/or romantic love was absolutely heartwarming.

Something else that really stood out to me was Elsie's ruminations on her past boyfriend, who we learn was extremely toxic and emotionally abusive. She also begins to recognize that he has documented behavior of fetishizing and sexualizing API women, and this is a fucked up truth to contend with, especially as an 18-year-old. Gosh, my heart hurt for her as she realized this in hindsight. This was another reason I appreciate pushing back on the "perfect victim" narrative, because does Elsie's past trauma forgive her current messy behavior? No, absolutely not. It does provide a bit more context for me though, and I appreciate the layers of discomfort and sadness that Elsie was working through introspectively, on top of everything else!

Okay, let me just get to the main romance between Joan and Elsie now, which felt like the warmest hug, and made me feel reminiscent of how I feel whenever I watch Nick and Charlie or Elle and Tao on Heartstopper, or any episode of Sex Education or Never Have I Ever. I felt giddy, hopeful, and nervous! I had butterflies as Joan and Elsie made their ways back to each other, first as friends after seven years of Elsie wondering what happened to her long lost bestie (my god, the miscommunication! the assumptions! the sad girl vibes!), and then again romantically! I smiled so hard when Elsie and Joan share a moment of Elsie exploring gender expression and feels so incredibly affirmed. It's such a unique, magical and humbling feeling.

I am in awe of CS, and will read whatever they write, even a grocery list!

rep: Chinese-British MC, biracial (Nigerian & white American) side character, Indian-British side character, questioning characters, ace-spec side character

Content Warnings

emily_mh's review

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emotional hopeful lighthearted reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

There’s part of a sentence in this novel that perfectly sums up what it is: “my summer imbued with a cosmic sheen of queer magic.” For this story is summery, and queer, and magical, and perhaps the sweetest softest sapphic romance I have ever read.

I am just in awe of the way in which So crafted this story. There are many different threads we follow, yet all of them are given the space and time they need, and all have satisfactory resolutions. They are expertly woven together to form this stunning book, giving the plot and the MC Elsie so much depth. It was a delight accompanying her on her summer of discovery!

I first need to discuss the ROMANCE. Oh my god does So know how to write pining!!! The fact that it was MUTUAL pining in a childhood-best-friends-to-lovers context just about finished my heart off. I also love love love when you can tell the LI is in love with the MC but the MC is oblivious, and that was the case here. Judging by the blurb, you’d think there’d be a love triangle but there really isn’t. Elsie’s changing feelings are handled really well. Simply based on how well these tropes were handled, I can tell that So writes really good fanfic. As well as loving the tropes, I totally saw and believed in the connection between Elsie and Joan. All their history, combined with Joan being a fully realised character outside of being a LI, meant their love was believable with a solid emotional base. I completely got what they saw in one another, and why they wanted to be together. And they were just so gentle, loving, earnest and open with each other. It just felt very healthy but no less passionate and devoted for it. Also, there is no third-act breakup here (another yay!) and the way they finally got together was perfect. The one critique I had here (and the only one I had for the whole book, really) was that Joan could sometimes get a bit lost in among the other plot threads. But this didn’t end up impacting my rating, obviously.

While romantic love is a major focus, So includes some wonderful depictions of platonic love. I appreciated that the story demonstrated how these relationships are not always perfect, but what I liked the most was how it showed that platonic connections are just as deep, meaningful and important as romantic ones. Elsie’s friendship with Ritika was my personal favourite; there was so much trust, understanding and fun there.

As well as navigating romance and friendship, Elsie is going through a process of coming to terms with her past and present. With the benefit of distance and hindsight, she is discovering that her first relationship was toxic and harmful, and that realisation is changing her perception of what love should look like in the present. Moreover, Elsie is trying to figure out why there is such a divide in her family, bringing to light just how complicated family dynamics can be. As well as these things, Elsie is understanding more about the intersection of her Chinese and queer identities, and how this has affected her view of herself and romance. All these elements are treated with care (as far as I can tell from my limited perspective), and make for a real richness in plot and character.

Another portion of the plot leads Elsie to meet queer people who aren’t young, which I loved. Representation of queer elders, and even queer middle-aged people, is so special not just because of its rarity, but because of how much hope it gives and beauty it shows.

Finally, the fandom element here was so fun. The book was like a letter to fanfiction in particular, the author really capturing what it’s like to be a part of that culture. So got me fully invested in the fictional fictional characters that Elsie was obsessed with, which is further testament to her skill as an author.

Basically, I am begging Cynthia So to write more books.

Rep: bi British-Chinese MC, lesbian British-Chinese LI, queer biracial Nigerian-American SC, questioning sapphic British-Indian SC, questioning ace SC

Content Warnings

r0ry_'s review

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medium-paced

Diverse cast of characters? Yes

3.5

Content Warnings

verysillygoose's review

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emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

Content Warnings

rainbowpridepin's review

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emotional hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

_eleanorgreen8_'s review

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Plot
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

at first, I didn't find this book that interesting, but as it progressed I became more and more invested in it, and by the end I was on the verge of tears. I didn't love the main character even though she was interesting and sweet. however, I really did love the descriptions of food, and the wonderful queer romance that made me want to cry at the end. it wasn't my favourite book, but I definitely recommend it.

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