Reviews tagging 'Abandonment'

If You Still Recognise Me by Cynthia So

11 reviews

clovetra's review against another edition

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hopeful lighthearted relaxing medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

ok, there are many thoughts & feelings, but first i need to preface this saying yet again i hate saying anything negative to a small indie writer! double hate because cynthia so seems lovely & i hate the thought of trying to "disregard" someones work. i will say though this book heavily leans to the Y/A genre, so for anyone wanting to read this, keep that in mind. 
now i want to start this off by saying i did not like elsie. i don't think she reaches the realm of protagonists i love to hate, but i will say i found her quite.... insufferable. 
like girl....
how did you expect ada to act finding her grandma's ex gf without permission.....
. some of her behaviours are very..... insane. that's a bad way of wording it but. there's no thought behind elsie's eyes ever. girl does NOT realise actions have consequences. and now that i am almost officially out of the teen age-range, i just cant buy a teen being *this* dumb. like yeah sure im autistic so obv i wouldn't have had the regular shmegular teen experience but.... i just couldn't buy elsie. that was defo my main issue.
another point is how elsie bounces between crushes is so annoying to me. girl what are you doing??? 😭 ive defo done that before........... as a child. like fully 12 years old. what are we doing here.
i also found this book to be a bit..... rushed in some aspects? the ending defo felt rushed, and that it went from 0-100 in a split second.  some parts of the story dragged on and on and on, for instance with ada & the explanation of the in-universe comic book, and other parts rushed too quickly, like with her po po & uncle! like i want more of that!!!!
i will say tho i love me some queer rep esp with a cultural element. i related a lot with elsie's worry about coming out to her family, but i will say that it wore thin on me the more i progressed through the book.
i truly did enjoy this book and gobbled it tf up! i loved joan, but honestly i found i didn't care about the plot.... i just wanted to read about joan. she captivated me. 
ill be real, im lacking words to describe how i felt about this book. on one hand i read it whenever i had the chance & it never felt like it was dragging, and that this was an overall "easy" (lighthearted & comfy) book to read..... but on the other hand it was a bit predictable and lacked substance. i don't know what i was expecting though because this was a very cute read i would defo recommend snuggling under your covers for. i just think this wasn't my style - sadly i think ive started to reach the point where Y/A is wearing thin on me which BREAKS MY HEART! 
i reckon honestly if i read this book even 3 years ago i would've loved the shit out of it. but now im an adult doing Adult Things™, this book seems a bit too.... happy? 😭 im too cynical and this book was too happy for my perpetually grumpy ass.
i would defo recommend this book its super cute fluff that warms ur little heart!!! im just a massive cynic + im also beginning to realise i don't like the romance genre as much as i used to
anyways cynthia so if you see this thank you for giving us the lighthearted teen lesbian romance society needed.
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evelynyle_88's review

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emotional lighthearted fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Finally after a long time on my tbr, I decided to take this book and started to read it. I feel like this book is so sweet and the story is so heartwarming. I smile everytime I read such cute moments in this book. I love Elsie, Joan and Ritika a lot. And oh! Ada too!

This book is so perfect. Perfect to finish reading it on my birthday with a smile plastered on my face. I need more heartwarming stories like this.

Thank you so much, Cynthia for writing this heartwarming story of Elsie (and Joan; of course!). I must say, I love the ending. Nothing more to say about their dynamic. You are brilliant!
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rosereadsalot's review

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emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a copy of If You Still Recognise Me by Cynthia So. I really enjoyed seeing such a diverse cast of characters, from different races to cultures to sexualities! This was a deep and meaningful Young Adult book and which I would definitely recommend. It deals with emotional and sensitive topics, including but not limited to homophobia, abandonment, racism and prejudice, grief and loss of a parent. 
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bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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emotional funny mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No
disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

The worst thing is that I’ve never been able to figure out whether this sense of being set apart from others is something that I’ve internalized, so that I just feel like I’m unwelcome because of my long history of not fitting in, or whether it’s something that’s really happening to me in the actual moment, that I really am being treated differently, in a way I can’t articulate but can only feel because life has made me uniquely sensitive to it.

I absolutely adored this story about Elsie, Joan, and all of the queer honeys around them! This is everything I love about contemporary YA coming-of-age stories.

Chinese-British 18-year-old Elsie's exploration with her gender expression and her unrequited feelings for her online fandom bestie Ada (biracial Nigerian American) were so incredibly tender and moving. I cannot believe this is Cynthia So's first novel because they masterfully wrote a story with a carefully subdued, but artfully introspective narrative.

This book was packed with so many magical and beautiful themes and tenets of queerness, growth, and community! First of all, I could not get over how delightful the representation of fandom culture was! Elsie and Ada first connected through virtual fandom spaces due to their love of comic book series Eden Recoiling, and end up talking every day, becoming close friends. Elsie's crush that she develops on Ada is SO REAL OMG!

Elsie did "the most" by searching for Ada's grandma Rebecca's long lost "friend," Theresa as a way to impress and make a grand gesture for Ada, but here's the thing. I have been there. I can't sit here and pretend I didn't pull some embarrassingly extra and sometimes invasive bullshit to prove I was good enough for someone I had a crush on, while I was in this state of "PLEASE LOVE ME" and needing validation like air. Simultaneously, it's almost self-sabotage-ing as well, because you then get to say, "See? I'm horrible and they would never like me." It's a pitiful circle of despair and insecurity, and it's incredibly relatable and authentic to being a young adult and fumbling as you figure it out.
Ada and Elsie do discuss how it was invasive and Elsie should have communicated that she had interest in doing this. It did invade Ada, Rebecca's, and Theresa's privacy regardless. I don't condone anyone disrespecting anyone else's privacy! I do appreciate that Ada and Elsie had an honest dialogue about doing better in the future though, and Elsie is lucky it turned out okay! I think this goes to show none of us are infallible, and we have to take accountability and be fully transparent when we do miss the mark. Elsie does learn this lesson, however messy it was! And I do think she was projecting her own feelings onto this quest too, as she spent 7 years wondering what happened with her long lost best friend Joan, and 8 years wondering why she no longer saw her Uncle Kevin. Rediscovery is such a powerful theme in this book!
Siri, play "love is embarrassing" by Olivia Rodrigo. CS absolutely read us (read: past friendships that you look back on and think, 'omg, that was SO gay of me to pine after my bestie and I didn't even know it) to filth with the pining, longing, angst, second-guessing, embarrassment, daydreaming, and hope that comes with crushes, especially those we endured on our besties. 

Another part of this book that I deeply appreciated was the representation across the board and the diversity of Elsie's family and friends group. There is an ace side character (won't say who so I don't spoil it for you!), Joan, our super hot masc butch lesbian, Elsie who is bi and queer/questioning her gender expression as she navigates a bit of dysmorphia and examining when she truly feels like *herself*, and multiple ethnicities represented too! Elsie's other sapphic bestie Ritika is Indian-British, and I actually think she handled most of the unprompted mess from Elsie very well - she was so direct, honest, and patient lol. I love a cast like this because it represents the world I live in. It represents the world I see when I go to the bookstore, or to the library, or to the shopping mall! I would absolutely watch a Freeform or Netflix tv show about these kids' coming-of-age stories!

Another part of this was the generational representation of elder queer folks, like Rebecca and Theresa.
I would be remiss if I didn't mention Uncle Kevin's introduction and his backstory, especially the disowning by his parents/Elsie's grandparents. Elsie's curiosity and determination in finding Theresa to reunite her with Rebecca, along with her wonder as to what happened to her uncle Kevin is so tender!
My friend @atmreads (IG) recently has been talking about how they want to see their communities grow old. Reading about elder queer folks who were just as dynamic, lively, hopeful, fierce, and full of self, platonic and/or romantic love was absolutely heartwarming.

Something else that really stood out to me was Elsie's ruminations on her past boyfriend, who we learn was extremely toxic and emotionally abusive. She also begins to recognize that he has documented behavior of fetishizing and sexualizing API women, and this is a fucked up truth to contend with, especially as an 18-year-old. Gosh, my heart hurt for her as she realized this in hindsight. This was another reason I appreciate pushing back on the "perfect victim" narrative, because does Elsie's past trauma forgive her current messy behavior? No, absolutely not. It does provide a bit more context for me though, and I appreciate the layers of discomfort and sadness that Elsie was working through introspectively, on top of everything else!

Okay, let me just get to the main romance between Joan and Elsie now, which felt like the warmest hug, and made me feel reminiscent of how I feel whenever I watch Nick and Charlie or Elle and Tao on Heartstopper, or any episode of Sex Education or Never Have I Ever. I felt giddy, hopeful, and nervous! I had butterflies as Joan and Elsie made their ways back to each other, first as friends after seven years of Elsie wondering what happened to her long lost bestie (my god, the miscommunication! the assumptions! the sad girl vibes!), and then again romantically! I smiled so hard when Elsie and Joan share a moment of Elsie exploring gender expression and feels so incredibly affirmed. It's such a unique, magical and humbling feeling. 

I am in awe of CS, and will read whatever they write, even a grocery list! 

rep: Chinese-British MC, biracial (Nigerian & white American) side character, Indian-British side character, questioning characters, ace-spec side character 
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nightstitch96's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful lighthearted reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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axel_p's review

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adventurous challenging emotional hopeful inspiring lighthearted medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

this was the story that i needed at the moment.
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emilycrowleyyy's review

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emotional hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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verysillygoose's review

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emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

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luananki's review

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adventurous funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

loved the representation and especially the characters, very glad i got to read if you still recognise me
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nikexistiertnik's review

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adventurous emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

while i have to say that the story was a little all over the place, i loved the book and i'm curious for cynthia so's future works. i fell in love with their short story in "proud", and while "if you still recognise me" is something completely different, it didn't disappoint. the representation?? loved it. the communication?? wonderful (not always, but lots of times). the fandom content?? heck yeah. 
although i REALLY wanted to know what happened with zaria and mayumi in the end aaaaaa
please also write eden recoiling, cynthia so

i'm so glad i got to read it, my heart is very happy now.
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