Reviews

Ausser sich by Courtney Summers

melissaverasreads's review against another edition

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3.0

3.5 stars.
It's been A WHILE since I read a book in one sitting, so kudos to this book for managing that.

parpacifica's review against another edition

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4.0

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I swear a lot. I know. But holy fucking shit, this book. It's midnight and I feel my chest burning with so much rage.

"I notice a word cut through the dirt coating my door. Slit. Because 'slut' was just too humanizing, I guess. A slit's not even a person. Just an opening."

I have read so many books about rape and they seem to hit upon the same loneliness and body shaming, that the others do. Some books even romanticize rape, or use a failed rape as a push point for the plot, just to make a male lead more heroic for saving the hapless female heroine.

But, this novel... this novel didn't focus on the loneliness, but instead the rage. This book is fucking raw. It is the definition of unaltered and raw.

Romy Grey is a red-lipstick wearing rape victim that her town refuses to acknowledge. Then, when she is found on the street, unconscious, with the words 'rape me' written on her stomach, everyone thinks it's her usual self trying to get attention. And she's angry.

"I lower my hand and Tina is across the room from me..... there's a scratch on her shoulder....I did that. But...I stare at my hands again....This can't be over. I haven't written on her yet."

I will never forget the time I went to visit a family friend. I was 11, racing out of the car, excited to stay over at their house. God, I will never fucking forget his face, walking into the room. He got really close physically, and casually sat me on his laps. And his hands started creeping under my shirt, grabbing at my developing chest, while he whispered, "We don't tell your mom or dad, okay?"

I was not raped. But I can't imagine how painful it is for someone who has been. No one understand how hard it is to fucking accept your body after someone has violated you.

"I wish I never had a body."

How hard it is to understand that you never bought anything upon yourself. That your body didn't deserve it.

How hard it is seeing the person who made you bitter. I see that man every holiday. Romy's rapists' legacy lives in her town. She is constantly reminded of him.

The worst are the after-effects. Romi can't maintain a relationship with Leon because her past scars mark every one of their moments. She can't forget.

She can't. I can't imagine how hard it much be to go through that, and then having to constantly live with the trauma of it, and pretend everything is okay. The fact is that this happens, to thousands of people around the world.

I hate Romy sometimes. She's a bitch sometimes. But life was never good to her, and is allowed to bitch.


This book really got to me. It portrayed rape in such a raw and unaltered light. It showed hurt and rage and sadness. It was fucking beautiful. It would have been a five star novel had it continued longer. I felt like it cut off very abruptly.

This will be the first four star novel to go on my Favourites shelf.

apleiades17's review against another edition

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4.0

"My heart is heavy with the weight of my body and my body is so heavy with the weight of my heart."

starrysea98's review against another edition

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DNF. Very very unpopular opinion: i just couldn’t connect with Romy and I know, I know, this girl has been traumatised, she’s still very deeply affected by herself being raped and no one believing her when she told the truth, not to mention the bullying she faces every day. But she has no personality at all. I got tired just reading about her. I couldn’t bring myself to care about her which sickens me because in a book with this kind of story, you want to be indignant on the girl’s behalf, you want her to get the justice she was deprived of.

Leon also appears to be a random character introduced??? Why the heck does a love interest need to be in the story? Idk but again, it was also deadly dull.

I do think the author did a good job in bringing this issue to light; we need stories like this to make us take a step back and wonder if we are getting better as a society.

laurenkara's review against another edition

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5.0

Trigger warnings: rape, sexual assault, non-consensual actions, drug and alcohol use

Holy shit. This book. I don't even know what to say. It is so brutal, but so important. The fact that it focused on the aftermath of rape and what a victim goes through rather than giving page time to the actual rapist was a much needed change of pace. I cried. I was so so so angry. It's absolute bullshit that people have to go through this. I wish this book didn't have to exist, but I'm glad it does because I feel like it's probably helped and will continue to help so many people. If you can handle the subject matter then please give this a read.

savschi's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

christiana's review against another edition

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3.0

Huh. Still working through my feelings on this one.

mollypitcher's review against another edition

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5.0

Well. I don't normally leave reviews, but when you get the privilege of reading a big important book a year before its publication . . . it's kind of a big deal. And here's where I say that I got to read All The Rage because its fabulous author is a long time friend, so you can take this review with as many grains of salt as you want.

That being said . . . this is Courtney Summers' best book yet. It is big, and meaty, and worth the wait. If you follow Courtney on social media, you know that she's talked a lot about the writing process for this book, that she found it quite difficult to write. And I can tell, that writing this book stretched her. Not because the writing feels labored or anything like that, but because this book does so damn much. It travels in time, back and forth, to Befores and Afters that the reader can't fully understand, not right away. It quickly introduces an entire town of characters, all of them layered, with hinted-at motivations. Their relationships to Romy, your narrator and protagonist, are complicated; some of them only coming into full clarity at the book's conclusion. There are so many levels of interpersonal mystery that I found myself trying to read slowly, going back a few pages to review conversations and let new developments settle in before pressing ahead.

Oh, and there are parents. If you're familiar with Courtney's work, you know they're usually a non-entity, and yet here they are.

I'm going to keep this super vague, because there's so much to uncover in All The Rage and I want everyone to be as surprised and delighted and horrified as I was. But here it is: this is a big important book. This is a book about the careless pain teenagers inflict on each other. This is a book about feminism, and sisterhood, and the responsibilities women have to each other. This is a book about rape culture, and an important one. It is insightful, it is violent, it is relentless, and it feels very real, all of it.

I couldn't put it down.

I can't wait for everyone else to get to read this book.
It's a doozy, and I say that in the best possible way.


melissaalgood's review against another edition

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5.0

This book should be mandatory reading for anyone who is a girl, knowns a girl, or has a girl. It is the most artfully written novel about America's rape culture that is in existence. If I had a daughter, I'd give her a copy to read.

xlovelylaurencalistax's review against another edition

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4.0

4.5 stars

This book is so important. High school student Romy has dealt with a horrible incident she so bravely tries to move on from. She lives in the kind of small town where having bad things happen involving important people and not-so-important, like Romy, means her social demise. She is shunned and shamed for speaking her truth. While reading, you are disgusted with her persecutors, but Romy shows such great strength that we too become strong. In the midst of Romy's struggle, her persecutors end up dealing with their own heartbreak as an important student in Romy's class goes missing. Summers paints the story in a way where we see vulnerable and strong sides of each character, even the wrong-doers. She writes the story with pure honesty and imagery. It is beautiful.
It doesn't tip-toe. It asks important questions. Its ends tie up and fake no happiness or sadness. It's real. I will be reading more books of Courtney's.

Behind the building was a field and when the popourri scent of her cleaner made me sneeze, I went outside. There were calves there, these sweet things that watched me with less interest than I watched them. There was this raggedy one, sitting in the middle of the field, its mother nearby. I didn't realize it was sick until it tried to get up and it couldn't. It kept trying and it couldn't and then, eventually--it didn't. After a while, a truck drove in. A man and a boy got out, looked it over while its mother stood close. It was dead, the calf. Dead and too heavy to load into the truck bed, so they tied a rope around its neck, tied the other end to the truck and dragged it off the field like that. Its mother watched until it disappeared and when it was out of view, she called for it. Just kept calling for it so long after it was gone. Sometimes I feel something like that, between my mom and me. That I'm the daughter she keeps calling for so long after she's been gone.
--What I understood and loved about this part was the way the writer compared an innocent and beautiful animal to her main character. The fact that the character notices this animal and feels empathy, while also comparing herself to it, showed a complexity and great understanding for how truly real and vulnerable we are as human beings. Romy recognizes herself in the calf and she feels sorry for its mother, along with her own. She is able to see outside herself and feel sympathy for people she knows who hurt alongside her and that was so powerful to me as a reader.

I don't believe in forgiveness. I think if you hurt someone, it becomes a part of you both. Each of you just has to live with it and the person you hurt gets to decide if they want to give you the chance to do it again. If they do and you're a good person, you won't make the same mistakes.
--How can you not want lovely advice to add to the overall story? It's wonderful.

I wonder if it feels like something, the dark...I imagine the tiniest points of light, the stars through the water, but she can't reach them before she goes out.

The first two chapters were a little slow and too detailed for my taste but I understood what the author was trying to do. I just felt maybe something could take the place of nail polish much better. The repetition at the end was perfect, despite my not liking the nail polish description. I think I would have preferred to have a repetition of the cow scene, except I would have liked it to end with something like:
Just kept calling for it so long after it was gone... Sometimes I feel something like that, about myself. That I keep calling out for the girl I used to be. Before. I wonder if she has been dragged off, away from who I am now, and I wonder if I will ever see her again. I think not. But I think maybe now that's a good thing.


I would also change the last lines to:

Open your eyes.
Uncover your mouth.
Look at me.
I'm here.


Hope you enjoy my review, as well as my writing suggestions. I recommend this book highly.