Reviews with content warning for Self harm - Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir

I have no words.

I've had the pleasure of reading both Freshwater and The Death of Vivek Oji so I knew I would be inhaling Emezi's memoir as soon as I could. Dear Senthuran has solidified Emezi as one of my favorite authors of all time. Any time they come out with something new, I will be reading it immediately.

This memoir is not an easy book to read. Emezi has chronic depression and has lived through several suicide attempts. Reading about their struggles and how being an author on tour only exacerbated their depression is something readers and fans almost never see. We see the shiny, polished author who puts their best face forward during the extent of the tour where as many cities as possible are crammed in.

So much of this book is about pain. But it's also about becoming who you are. The thing I related to the most was Emezi's struggles with gender and defining exactly what their gender was. Plus dealing with dysphoria and taking steps to treat it. They also discuss how this impacted their relationship with their mother.

This book took a knife to my soul and it felt like someone finally understood the thoughts in my head I haven't been able to verbalize. Read this book as soon as you can.

CWs: Death, emotional abuse, homophobia, medical content (gender affirming surgeries), misogyny, racism, religious bigotry, sexism, self harm, sexual content, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, toxic relationship, transphobia, body horror, mental illness (depression).

Content Warnings

tinytrashqueen's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative reflective slow-paced

4.5

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caseythereader's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective fast-paced

5.0

- Per usual, when I try to sit down to write about an Emezi book, I cannot find the words. Their work is simply beyond my ability to discuss. Each book bends my mind and cracks open the world a little differently.
- DEAR SENTHURAN is a look inside their brain, their heart, their soul. It's an extended discussion of how to deal with a world that does not want you, on several levels. It's the pain and joy and revenge of making space for yourself anyway.
- Even beyond the larger ideas explored, the actual writing and words of this book are expansive, visceral, horrifying and elegant. They are truly a master of their craft.
- Also, I've listed content warnings below: please take them seriously. Emezi does not hold back on some graphic descriptions, particularly about suicide and self harm.

Content Warnings

whatellisreadnext's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨-𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘺 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘴, 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.

It's ridiculously hard to put into words how much I loved this memoir. Akwaeke Emezi is a force. An inspiration. A phoenix rising from the ashes. Throughout these letters to people in their life, they are open and vulnerable, being so unapologetically themselves.

The writing is incredible. I underlined basically the whole book. Emezi has a way with words that I've never come across before in any other author. I could read their writing again and again and never be bored of it. This is without a doubt the best book I've read all year.

Before diving into their memoir, definitely grab yourself a copy of Freshwater, Pet and The Death of Vivek Oji (all masterpieces in their own right), because they come up a lot in this book. Especially the parallels from Freshwater to Emezi's life, I knew it was kind of autobiographical when I first read it, but they put a lot of themselves into that book.

I'll leave you with another quote from Dear Senthuran that really stuck with me, but also just read Akwaeke Emezi's work if you haven't already, you won't regret it.

𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘧*𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧; 𝘐'𝘮 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸.

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