Reviews with content warning for Homophobia - Him - Mit ihm allein

I should have taken Colleen Hoover's praise for this book as a warning sign, but I ignored it and kept reading. Big mistake. This book, written by women for women (and particularly for heterosexual audiences), is highly problematic and is unfortunately touted as a modern classic in M/M relationships. I've since learned that both authors have troubling histories: Sabrina Bowen often includes misogyny in her books. At the same time, Elle Kennedy fetishizes lesbian relationships and body-shames women, and her works frequently contain misogynistic themes. Starting Pride Month with a book filled with homophobia, biphobia, lesbophobia, a hint of transphobia, M/M fetishization, sexism, and racism was incredibly disheartening.

The clichés in this book are unbearable, and the "dude-bro" dialogue and behavior are even worse. Wes and Jamie interact like stereotypical teenage girls, despite their macho exteriors. Despite being friends, they never discuss their issues, feelings, or thoughts. Everything is centered around sex.

The bisexual representation is poorly executed. Jamie is depicted as being bi only for Wes. He mentions missing being with girls because of how soft they are and constantly checks out girls even when he's with Wes. Jamie's struggle with his new sexuality is minimal, which felt unrealistic. There's a minor scene where Wes squeezes Jamie's ass in public, and Jamie looks around nervously, but that's about it. When he realizes he is bi, his response is, "My family will love me anyway," which seemed too easy. I wanted more conflict, inner struggles, and mixed feelings. This portrayal reinforces harmful stereotypes about bisexual people being promiscuous or obsessed with sex.

Wes's biphobia towards Jamie is another issue. Wes believes Jamie can't be bi because he has a girlfriend and sleeps with women, a narrow-minded view. Wes fears Jamie will leave him for a woman, reinforcing the stereotype that bisexual people are cheaters or prone to polyamory. It's hypocritical that Wes, a gay man, can flirt with women, but Jamie, a bisexual man, gets called out for merely looking at a woman. Wes also corrects Jamie for a gay stereotype but then calls him "too gay" for anything remotely gay.

The book also fetishizes lesbians. When Jamie is "struggling" with his sexuality, he watches lesbian porn, claiming he loves seeing two women together. Jamie, you can like women without fetishizing lesbians. Additionally, there's a tasteless comment about trans people: "I could announce I wanted to live my life as a transsexual vampire yeti, and they’d still say, ‘Oh, Jamie. You’re so cute.'"

The misogyny in this book is appalling. Women are depicted as bitches, puck bunnies, a pair of tits (or a nice rack), desperate, a good lay, and little else. Wes is portrayed as so attractive that any woman literally foams at the mouth upon seeing him. There are random instances where a woman simply exists, and Wes mentally dismisses her with, "Those (boobs, idk dude) don't work on me sweetheart." Wes constantly calls women "doll," like a caricature from 1920s New York City.

Wes's tribal tattoos are another issue. Though the specifics aren't mentioned, it's in bad taste for an author to include tribal tattoos without cultural context. These tattoos hold deep meaning for the cultures they originate from, and appropriating them is damaging. Wes having "golden-toned" skin is another questionable detail. Moreover, the book includes a racial slur, further highlighting its insensitivity.

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lauraelovesbooks's review against another edition

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emotional funny medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

My favourite hockey romance!

I love Jamie and Wes so much and I fly through this every time. I highly recommend the audiobook that features both of my favourite male narrators

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leahkarge's review against another edition

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medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

I’m conflicted on how to rate this. Overall, the plot was enjoyable and a good friends to lovers storyline. But there are a lot of issues that I would’ve expected to be edited out or modified when it was re-released in 2021. I probably would’ve enjoyed this more if I’d read it in 2015 when it was initially published and before I started learning how to really tackle my own internalized misogyny, fatphobia, and queerphobia.

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maregred's review against another edition

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funny lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

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levilore_'s review against another edition

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funny hopeful lighthearted reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

Don't expect much from this book in terms of plot or character growth. The plot was actually interesting, but most of the second half was the characters having sex and nothing else really happening. I would've been fine with that but the main characters often made sexist comments and there was some vague biphobia that made me dislike Wes a lot. I wish there was more time spent on the exploring the characters as people.

Also I really didn't need to hear that much detail about their sex as teens. I could've gotten the highlights.

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mrsherrera's review against another edition

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lighthearted relaxing medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

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apathy's review against another edition

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adventurous emotional funny hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

So. Fucking. Hot.

I could not stop listening to this book! This is one of those rare gems you find that you just can't seem to pull yourself away from.

The character development that Jamie and Ryan have throughout the whole book is heartwarming. You can tell the authors really had an idea in mind and executed it wonderfully. This book makes me wish the characters were real.

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