Reviews with content warning for Deadnaming - Between Perfect and Real

Sometimes you just read a book and you're pretty sure the author must have opened your brain up and poured it onto the pages. That was Between Perfect and Real for me. I have no idea how to review this book that isn't 'dude same!!!' So necessary and truthful. There were loads of really important conversations and messages, and I loved how it explored the variety of different responses to coming out, as well as the importance of talking to people, specifically people who understand. I cried so many times reading this book. My new aspiration is to play Dean in a movie adaptation (adaptation gods if you're listening please hit me up). This is my new number one book to recommend people if they want to learn about the trans experience.

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wind_dog's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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leahlovesloslibros's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.5

Dean Foster is a trans guy, but everyone thinks he's a lesbian, even his girlfriend. When he gets cast as Romeo in the school play, he slowly comes to terms with who he is, and he realizes he cannot wait any longer to let people know. The more he plays Romeo onstage, the more he feels the draw to be out as a trans guy, but he is worried about how his parents, friends, and girlfriend will handle it.

This story is so beautifully written. While I do not identify as trans, the author wrote about Dean's internal struggles so poignantly that I could almost feel them myself. I loved the relationships that Dean had with his friends, especially Ronnie. It is so important to have a core group of friends who love you as you are, especially for individuals who identify as LGBTQIAP+.

I understood the struggles of Dean and Zoe's relationship as it transformed along with Dean. While I do not love some of the transphobic language and ideas that Zoe presented throughout the story, I think that it is a very realistic portrayal of how some relationships progress when one individual is going through changes to their sexuality, gender, etc. That isn't to say that all relationships see the same trials, but I appreciated that they didn't just gloss over the fact that Zoe had struggles of her own, relating to Dean's changes, and that they didn't get back together in the end, as I feel that would have been ingenuine and too "perfect".

Finally, I know that having parents who are not supportive of who you are is incredibly difficult. While I would have loved for Dean to have two fully supportive parents, I appreciated the realness that came with his mother struggling to understand and accept him for who he is. I really enjoyed reading the dad's character, as he kind of reminded me of my dad and how he loves and supports his children exactly as they are and tries to soften the blows a bit when it comes to a mom that can be harsher.

Ray Stoeve did a beautiful job with this novel, and I would absolutely read more of their books! I also definitely recommend this for both trans and cis individuals, especially teenagers and young adults.

Rep: trans MC, lesbian LI, BIPOC gay SC, Japanese gay SC, gay SC, trans SC, non-binary SC

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ashleereads's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring reflective fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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lennie_reads's review

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challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

"You know what's not fair? Mom telling me I should dress differently my whole life. Me and my friends worrying about some jerk attacking us when we're just out living our lives. Me having to be a girl because no one ever told me there were other options."

This book follows Dean, who is already questioning their gender, after they are cast as Romeo in the school play.

I've read other books with trans characters but this was my first experience of meeting a character as they're still discovering their identity.
I loved being able to go along with Dean for the journey of discovery, self acceptance & coming out. I also found it very informative & helpful you are told about different types of binders, hormones & surgery options through Dean's research.

In the first chapter Dean describes themselves as white which I found refreshing. Often it is *assumed* that a character is white unless stated otherwise. And although the main character is white & it's a book about being trans, there are also multiple occasions where the author points out how different people's experience can be if they're black or POC. Dean's 2 best friends are Ronnie, a gay black guy, and Allison, a bisexual Japanese girl, they also have a skater friend called Jared who is white & straight. The fact that the world treats POC, especially Black people, differently in the US is also mentioned in reference to the Police.

At the beginning of the book Dean is in a lesbian relationship with Zoe & they have plans to go to college in NYC together.

This book deals with some heavy & sensitive issues regarding gender & sexuality within Zoe & Dean's relationship.
It also shows what it's like to not have supportive parents & what that can mean for trans people, especially trans people of colour.
We also witness how Dean is the victim of some intense bullying at school once he come out as trans.

The friendships in this book are amazing & I feel that a big focus for this book is found family & how important friendships are in the queer community.

It's a heavy book but so wonderful and I 100% recommend.

CW: Outing, deadnaming, transphobia, homophobia, violence, racism

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