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katlinstirling_reads's review
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
4.0
Heartbreaking.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Death, Domestic abuse, Kidnapping, Pedophilia, Torture, Trafficking, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Stalking, Violence, Murder, Physical abuse, Sexual violence, Adult/minor relationship, Drug abuse, Grief, Gun violence, Child death, and Drug use
kurezan's review
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.75
"So I decided to disappear once more -- voluntarily this time -- to try and fit together the dark pieces of this dark and sprawling puzzle, in the middle of which I somehow managed to survive. Then to tidy those pieces away in my own memory bank, but in a form which I hope will be once and for all and for ever: a book on a shelf. And then to forget." (P. 176, Sabine Dardenne, 2004.)
This book is the memoir of a strong-willed young woman, Sabine Dardenne, who went through a terrible ordeal as a twelve year old girl as one of the abducted victim's of The Monster of Belgium, Marc Dutroux, and one of the two "lucky ones" who survived. Sabine endured eighty days of sexual abuse, was deprived of food, basic hygiene, and human decency, and spent her days sad but sane, while chained in a hidden closet-sized room in a pit of despair. This book is both a testament to Sabine's will to live and her impulse to divulge all the information people won't stop asking her about in the years since; about how she was treated and how she survived, in hopes that she can put the events behind her and move on with her life. Sabine describes her ordeals in as much detail as she can stomach and gracefully refrains from going into grotesque detail about the depths of her treatment in respect for her own mental well-being and her past self who wrote private letters to her mother while in captivity without knowledge of whether she would ever see freedom again. That she refrains from naming most of her captors for the majority of the book, and describes them instead through a variety of insults, is a departure from many works of this type, which adds to the personability of the book and gives real sense of Sabine's personality that emanates from the memoir's pages. The book goes to some very dark places and is hard reading at times, but knowledge that at the very least Sabine survived and continues to live while Dutroux and his accomplices face justice is at least a bit of light after a very dark tale. It is nice to know that according to the book that Sabine seems to have had her struggles but has come out on the other side a strong-willed woman capable of doing things a normal young person her age might, like fall in love and set out on her own. Dutroux and his accomplices may have killed the innocent child in Sabine, but they have not killed the woman she has become or snuffed out the future that lay in store for her ahead. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for the victims that came before her, who went through much the same things as Sabine but did not survive. It is a heartbreaking story.
I first heard about this case from a podcast called Le Monstre. In it, the podcaster seemed much more keen on the "pedophile network conspiracy" theory than Sabine is in this work. Sabine brushed off this theory as simply Dutroux trying to remove himself from responsibility and/or as a desperate grab for attention. I am not sure whether more information has come out about this particular incident since the book's publication in 2004, but it seems to me that the post-Epstein world we live in gives some credibility to the nature of the network theory, and I recall the podcast having greater detail about this alleged network and the conspiracy surrounding it. Such information is not found within this memoir.
Nevertheless, this book is worthwhile reading for anyone interested in the Dutroux Affair as one cannot do better than hear about the incident from someone who actually experienced it, without the usual slightly odorous, vaguely glorifiying descriptions that populate many works of true crime. That this book seems to be the only English language book about the Dutroux Affair is somewhat puzzling, given the scope of the case and the impact it seems to have had on Belgium. Perhaps there is some justice to be found in the relative anonymity of these horrible people in an industry and world that seems all too keen to makes stars of monsters. True crime seems to be one of those strange morally grey areas that can certainly be questionable at times. Coming from Sabine herself, this moral dilemma disappears, rather than exploitative of the tragedy, the work comes across as therapeutic and helpfully informs interested parties of the narrative Sabine remembers. One can only hope that in the years since, Sabine and her fellow survivor Laëtitia have been able to live happy lives and that Dutroux and his accomplices, known and unknown, suffered and continue to suffer in this life and the next.
This book is the memoir of a strong-willed young woman, Sabine Dardenne, who went through a terrible ordeal as a twelve year old girl as one of the abducted victim's of The Monster of Belgium, Marc Dutroux, and one of the two "lucky ones" who survived. Sabine endured eighty days of sexual abuse, was deprived of food, basic hygiene, and human decency, and spent her days sad but sane, while chained in a hidden closet-sized room in a pit of despair. This book is both a testament to Sabine's will to live and her impulse to divulge all the information people won't stop asking her about in the years since; about how she was treated and how she survived, in hopes that she can put the events behind her and move on with her life. Sabine describes her ordeals in as much detail as she can stomach and gracefully refrains from going into grotesque detail about the depths of her treatment in respect for her own mental well-being and her past self who wrote private letters to her mother while in captivity without knowledge of whether she would ever see freedom again. That she refrains from naming most of her captors for the majority of the book, and describes them instead through a variety of insults, is a departure from many works of this type, which adds to the personability of the book and gives real sense of Sabine's personality that emanates from the memoir's pages. The book goes to some very dark places and is hard reading at times, but knowledge that at the very least Sabine survived and continues to live while Dutroux and his accomplices face justice is at least a bit of light after a very dark tale. It is nice to know that according to the book that Sabine seems to have had her struggles but has come out on the other side a strong-willed woman capable of doing things a normal young person her age might, like fall in love and set out on her own. Dutroux and his accomplices may have killed the innocent child in Sabine, but they have not killed the woman she has become or snuffed out the future that lay in store for her ahead. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for the victims that came before her, who went through much the same things as Sabine but did not survive. It is a heartbreaking story.
I first heard about this case from a podcast called Le Monstre. In it, the podcaster seemed much more keen on the "pedophile network conspiracy" theory than Sabine is in this work. Sabine brushed off this theory as simply Dutroux trying to remove himself from responsibility and/or as a desperate grab for attention. I am not sure whether more information has come out about this particular incident since the book's publication in 2004, but it seems to me that the post-Epstein world we live in gives some credibility to the nature of the network theory, and I recall the podcast having greater detail about this alleged network and the conspiracy surrounding it. Such information is not found within this memoir.
Nevertheless, this book is worthwhile reading for anyone interested in the Dutroux Affair as one cannot do better than hear about the incident from someone who actually experienced it, without the usual slightly odorous, vaguely glorifiying descriptions that populate many works of true crime. That this book seems to be the only English language book about the Dutroux Affair is somewhat puzzling, given the scope of the case and the impact it seems to have had on Belgium. Perhaps there is some justice to be found in the relative anonymity of these horrible people in an industry and world that seems all too keen to makes stars of monsters. True crime seems to be one of those strange morally grey areas that can certainly be questionable at times. Coming from Sabine herself, this moral dilemma disappears, rather than exploitative of the tragedy, the work comes across as therapeutic and helpfully informs interested parties of the narrative Sabine remembers. One can only hope that in the years since, Sabine and her fellow survivor Laëtitia have been able to live happy lives and that Dutroux and his accomplices, known and unknown, suffered and continue to suffer in this life and the next.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Confinement, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, and Kidnapping
Moderate: Sexual assault, Pedophilia, and Trafficking
Minor: Bullying and Drug abuse
iriswindmeijer's review against another edition
5.0
This book was so well-written, I almost felt like I was watching along with Sabine's struggle.
gybelle's review against another edition
In “Ik was twaalf en ik fietste naar school” doet één van de slachtoffers van Marc Dutroux haar verhaal. Ze heeft het over de 80 dagen en evenveel nachten die ze moest doorbrengen in de kelder van de meest gehate inwoner van België én het proces dat daarop volgde.
Details worden, gelukkig, niet beschreven. Anders had ik dit boek ook zeker aan me voorbij laten gaan, maar ook zonder die details zijn de gebeurtenissen onwezenlijk en vooral misselijkmakend. Uiteraard had ik niet anders verwacht.
Een rating ken ik liever niet toe aan dit boek. Het is een verhaal gebracht door een slachtoffer, over een ontzettend pijnlijke kwestie. Punten geven op inhoud, schrijfstijl, etc. is hier voor mij niet van de orde.
Details worden, gelukkig, niet beschreven. Anders had ik dit boek ook zeker aan me voorbij laten gaan, maar ook zonder die details zijn de gebeurtenissen onwezenlijk en vooral misselijkmakend. Uiteraard had ik niet anders verwacht.
Een rating ken ik liever niet toe aan dit boek. Het is een verhaal gebracht door een slachtoffer, over een ontzettend pijnlijke kwestie. Punten geven op inhoud, schrijfstijl, etc. is hier voor mij niet van de orde.
sita28's review against another edition
Not going to rate this.
I read this as a 14 year old belgian person. I was really scared to start this because It's just disgusting what that monster did.
I read this as a 14 year old belgian person. I was really scared to start this because It's just disgusting what that monster did.