Reviews tagging 'Deadnaming'

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith

93 reviews

stailysh1's review

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emotional funny hopeful lighthearted relaxing tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

I think this book is great for what it is.  It reads like it was the author's high school fantasy, but in the case of this book, I believe that's excusable because this book could really help a lot of people who need it.  It shows the mentality behind being both in and out of the closet and focuses on visibility.  The ending kind of pushes being out and visible, which I find challenging because that is not safe or desired by everyone who is part of the LGBT+ community, especially transgender individuals.  The main characters are generally lovable and funny, and work through their flaws and grow together.  All in all, it's an enjoyable and (mostly) light read that should be taken for what it is: a YA LGBT+ novel with a happy ending.  
**Please read the content warnings before diving into this book.**

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sage_alexandra's review

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dark emotional sad
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0


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elskabee's review against another edition

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funny hopeful medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

 It's hard to say much about this book because it's painfully generic. Like almost every teen romcom trope feels like it's here except one of the main characters is trans. Buuuut being really stereotypical doesn't make it bad, just not a standout. I laughed at a decent amount of the jokes and the characters are complex and I was rooting for their relationship. 

I'd say please check for trigger warnings especially to do with transphobia and suicidal ideation. This book has a happy ending and for most of it a fairly light tone but it's not exactly cosy. It is about queer youth in Texas after all. 

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katieduffy151's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

A great book to highlight the significant daily struggles of trans youth and what is unfortunately an all too common experience. The book is quite joyful and light-hearted at the beginning but a warning is needed because takes a drastic turn toward the end with incredibly violent scenes but I understand why it was included.

I would maybe suggest that this is a really insightful book for cisgender people to read in order to more fully understand the struggles of trans people (particularly teenagers), but a warning that it might be very triggering for those who are trans. I would like to think there are better books out there to read that highlight trans joy and love.

I still maintain Pony deserves better than Georgia. I also felt uncomfortable that his friend wouldn't respect his decision to go stealth given the potential safety risks, but I understand the issue of visibility is a complex one.

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cheezyreads's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75


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mxbluet18's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring lighthearted sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

5.0

Trigger warnings for Stay Gold include: transphobia, misgendering, deadnaming, homophobia and suicidal ideation.


🔷“Pony, you are not alone. All these people love and support you without even meeting you. This hard time will pass. You just be strong.”🔷

This book is everything I could want in a romance book. It's fairly light-hearted for the most part, but still discusses some more sensitive topics with due care.
~
It had trans representation, in multiple forms, both from the perspective of out and proud trans people, and stealth trans people. I also like that the romance was present but not exactly the full focus (which is how I prefer my YA romance books to be).
~
It might sound stupid, but even in fiction, having a trans or non-binary character's deadname brought up feels gross and wrong. That's one piece of information I'd never once even think of wanting to know about any trans person, nor would I ever use it for them (unless asked) even if I didn't like them.
~
🔷“Well, now you have a son named Pony, and if you don’t accept that, you will lose him. Maybe we all will.”🔷 

I think this is an important note to end on, even if it's somewhat of a delicate and hard topic to talk about. Accepting trans people, and using the name and pronouns they ask is literally suicide prevention. The statistics of trans youth who either make an attempt on their life, or sadly end their life, are far too high. But making small changes to the words used to talk about and to those trans people might just save a life.

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queerloras's review

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75


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laura_keoski's review against another edition

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challenging emotional inspiring reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0


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danileah07's review

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dark emotional medium-paced

5.0


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that_bookworm_guy's review

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dark emotional medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

This is a hard book to review because right up until the ends, I really didn't like the characters. I get the point being made, I do. Some of the trans information and statistics were well done and a good addition. 

First of all, I defo want to put here that I am a trans man. So this is my view as just 1 trans person.

First of all, the romance. I'm defo not great at reading romance, but I definitely didn't find it cute. This could just be me, I'm really aware that romance just isn't my thing. But it felt so focused. I hated, hated how Pony chased Georgia after she said she didn't want to date him. He was counting down the days it had been since they kissed and was purposely making situations hoping for a kiss. And then after a big love show, she turned him down because he is trans and she was worried about her image. I know this is meant to be a point of growth for the characters as she learns that it doesn't matter but yeah, I didn't like this. 

Max, a trans friend, keeps putting pressure on Pony to be out and proud as a trans man when he keeps repeating that he wants to live stealth after what happened before. Then threatens that if he isn't out he will end the friendship. Emotional blackmail. Nope. As a trans person, I don't know a single trans person who would do this to another trans person. He does apologise later, but only after Pony comes out and gets attacked. Max is an incredibly shitty person and apologising is the very least, but yeah, I defo wouldn't trust or forgive someone for doing that. This is such a harmful situation, Pony should have 100% cut Max out of his life at the first sign of emotional manipulation. I really hope trans youths know that they don't ever have to come out like this. I live stealth in my life at work and I would 100% cut out a friend who expected me to share things online such as Facebook where it could risk outing me. Because respect is the least I ask for. Let alone from another trans person. 

The book also got very dark very suddenly at the end. I understand it happens in life. That trans people get assaulted, and that trans people are at a higher risk of suicide. But I just don't think this was handled well at all. It was almost sudden with no warning. 

If you're expecting a cute romance with some hard hitting bits, then it's worth looking into the TWs. Because this gets incredibly dark. 

There is also theme throughout where Georgia is trying to find out Pony's deadname. It's revealed in the end, and although Georgia says that she didn't really need to know what it was and it doesn't matter, it would have been a much nicer thing if the name was never revealed to the reader. If it truly doesn't matter, then don't mention it. I understand the point that was trying to be made, but it would have made a bigger point to not make a huge point of it. The first 2 letters are revealed part way through the book and I feel like it almost leads the reader to want to figure out his deadname. 

I've rated this 2.5/3* simply because there were some good points in this book and I was semi enjoying the train wreck of the romance thinking that it was just me not enjoying romance, but there are definitely some huge red flags with the romance.

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