Reviews tagging 'Grief'

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith

7 reviews

grace_koalateareads's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

“We can’t change those people’s minds. We just love louder and harder than they can hate.”

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith was a difficult  yet important read. The story is split into Pony’s (a trans boy) and Georgia’s (a cis girl) point of view. Both are seniors at a Texas high school just outside of Dallas. For Pony it’s all about going “stealth” and just being a normal guy, for Georgia it’s about cheerleading and being the person people expect her to be. I loved both of them so much, they had great personalities and felt real and genuine. I loved the puns, the banter and the deep and meaningful conversations. 

“When the school treats trans students like they’re different, it gives the green light for the other kids to do the same, but kids are way meaner.”

The side characters were where my discomfort started, especially with Max, Pony’s “out and proud” best friend, who came across very “black and white” and wanting him to share things on social media that made him feel uncomfortable. I know the ending sort of cleared those things up, but it felt too rushed and too shiny (or gold, if you will) like it wasn’t real.  Being “out and proud” is great, it’s awesome, but not if it isn’t safe to do so. It also made me uncomfortable with the amount of trans and queer slurs, especially as they didn’t need to be written down to get the point across.

“Some days, I barely think about being trans. And other days, it’s an obstacle course.”

Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy the book, just not as much as I was expecting. A lot of really heavy topics were covered, such as transphobia, misgendering and forced outting - these weren’t the reason for my lower rating, but more how they were handled/written especially when a character was the one causing said topics. I was definitely hooked and finished the book in just over a day. It’s one that I think a lot of people, who don’t understand what being trans means, should read, however, overall it just made me feel drained.

“I raise my glass in toast and say (but not too loudly, “Here’s to being trans in Texas.””

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Transphobia, Violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Toxic friendship, Dysphoria, Suicidal thoughts, Outing, Emotional abuse, and Deadnaming

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, Injury/Injury detail, and Bullying

Minor: Alcoholism, Alcohol, Body shaming, Medical content, Vomit, Drug use, and Grief

whosfernn's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I knew almost nothing about this book when I picked it up. Looking at the cover and the blurb, I assumed it would be a cute coming-of-age romance. What it actually is is probably the best, most moving tale of a trans boy I've ever read. It's a very realistic look at the trans experience, especially how it can be to be trans in southern America. Beautiful. One of my favourites, probably my favourite read of 2023 so far. Please read this book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Deadnaming, Injury/Injury detail, Toxic friendship, Transphobia, Medical content, Outing, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Death, Drug use, Lesbophobia, and Homophobia

Moderate: Alcohol, Mental illness, Infidelity, Abandonment, and Bullying

Minor: Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Alcoholism, Grief, and Religious bigotry

anniereads221's review

challenging emotional medium-paced

3.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Vomit, Grief, Hate crime, Homophobia, Outing, Bullying, Deadnaming, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, and Violence

Misgendering HP references

therainbowshelf's review against another edition

emotional funny tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

This is your typical boy meets girl out of his league but she's tired of the social roles she plays anyway type stories, but make one of them trans. The characters are fun and their exploration of themselves is typical but rewarding. I was a little surprised that one character never has a learning moment about how trans people don't owe you a sex reveal, though.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Lesbophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Grief, Bullying, Transphobia, Homophobia, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Sexism, Outing, Violence, Medical content, Abandonment, Hate crime, Infidelity, Body shaming, and Deadnaming

Moderate: Grief and Dysphoria

seawarrior's review

emotional informative inspiring sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I really wasn't into this book... and at points I just wanted to quit reading. Pony and Georgia weren't interesting people to me, they both seemed shallow and self-absorbed, so I had a difficult time feeling invested in their motivations, much less their love story. Pony kinda skates along acting toxically masculine throughout the book and isn't given opportunity to truly grow out of that mindset or denounce it. I was honestly really appalled by how he was behaving and how remorseless he felt about it. I transitioned at the same age he did, at the same point in time that he did, and never felt pressured to act as he did, and have known plenty of other trans masculine people who would never dream of behaving so offensively just to pass. It's not a requirement, even around hyper-masculine guys, to go around being misogynistic and LGBTphobic just to be stealth, and I'm sick and tired of young trans boys being convinced otherwise. Pony slightly redeems himself at the end, but I really wasn't satisfied with his character progression, and I still left the story with a sour taste in my mouth. 

Ironically I enjoyed listening to Georgia's voice more, though she also behaves LGBTphobically for immature and downright ridiculous reasons. Her act of redemption is more solid and purposeful by the end. My favorite character in the story was probably Ted London, and I was disappointed that he mostly seemed used as a plot device. I didn't feel satisfied with his development either. 

My other main issue was how there was never really a balance that Pony and Max found between accepting that some people need to be stealth for their own physical and mental safety, and that they can still stick up for other LGBT+ people at the same time. By the end this story read almost like a cautionary tale regarding both their perspectives, but they never even opened a dialogue about it. 

I think the high points of this story are the messages that life continues after being outed, life continues after assault, life continues when binding becomes too dangerous to repeat, life continues when you have to wait for gender affirming medical interventions, life continues after being rejected or mocked for your gender and it continues even when you wish you weren't living it. Trans youth have so much more strength and grit than they usually give themselves credit for. And they're often surrounded by so much more love than they know. I was happy that these ideas were reflected in the book, but mostly at the very end, and only very briefly in comparison with the previous pages. I'm not sure I'd recommend this book to others. It's not totally terrible, but I had a lot of issues with the characters and with the narrative that went unresolved. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Bullying, Chronic illness, Deadnaming, Death, Drug use, Dysphoria, Emotional abuse, Grief, Hate crime, Lesbophobia, Medical content, Outing, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Violence, and Vomit

xoodlebooks's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Bullying, Child abuse, Cursing, Deadnaming, Death, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, Outing, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Terminal illness, Toxic friendship, Transphobia, Violence, and Vomit

Moderate: Drug use, Grief, Infidelity, Medical content, and Sexism

Disordered eating patterns

ashheinrich's review

dark tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

This was extremely frustrating to read. Everything was so misogynistic and the message was basically queer and trans people will suffer until they come out, at which time the suffering will escalate. Being trans was also compared to being a secret writer lmfao

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Emotional abuse, Grief, Hate crime, Homophobia, Mental illness, Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, and Violence