Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith

16 reviews

michaelion's review against another edition

dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

My ex bought me this for our one month anniversary and I finally read it two years later hoping the book would be bad so I could give it away but it was so good! So cue so sweet. I shall be keeping it.

I was so sure that The Outsiders wasn't canon in this world and then she mentioned it! It's nitpicky but naming yourself after Ponyboy is much cooler than just naming yourself after an animal randomly. That boy got to senior year and didn't read The Outsiders?! It's so gay he would've loved it.

A great book for explaining what a trans person is to kids / teens. It has a perfect mixture of people familiar with the world and explaining to someone who knows nothing. Great writing. I laughed a plenty.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Blood, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Lesbophobia, Physical abuse, Transphobia, Violence, and Outing

Moderate: Sexual violence, Vomit, Deadnaming, Sexual harassment, Bullying, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic friendship, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Infidelity and Abandonment

readingwithkaitlyn's review against another edition

challenging fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Deadnaming, Toxic friendship, Mental illness, Terminal illness, Misogyny, Hate crime, Body shaming, Dysphoria, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Lesbophobia, Violence, Injury/Injury detail, Outing, and Transphobia

Moderate: Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Sexual harassment, Alcohol, Drug use, Suicidal thoughts, Death, and Medical content

Minor: Child death, Alcoholism, Suicide, Physical abuse, Self harm, Murder, Excrement, Sexual content, Biphobia, Fire/Fire injury, Death, and Vomit

use of f slur

grace_koalateareads's review against another edition

challenging emotional funny hopeful informative tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

“We can’t change those people’s minds. We just love louder and harder than they can hate.”

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith was a difficult  yet important read. The story is split into Pony’s (a trans boy) and Georgia’s (a cis girl) point of view. Both are seniors at a Texas high school just outside of Dallas. For Pony it’s all about going “stealth” and just being a normal guy, for Georgia it’s about cheerleading and being the person people expect her to be. I loved both of them so much, they had great personalities and felt real and genuine. I loved the puns, the banter and the deep and meaningful conversations. 

“When the school treats trans students like they’re different, it gives the green light for the other kids to do the same, but kids are way meaner.”

The side characters were where my discomfort started, especially with Max, Pony’s “out and proud” best friend, who came across very “black and white” and wanting him to share things on social media that made him feel uncomfortable. I know the ending sort of cleared those things up, but it felt too rushed and too shiny (or gold, if you will) like it wasn’t real.  Being “out and proud” is great, it’s awesome, but not if it isn’t safe to do so. It also made me uncomfortable with the amount of trans and queer slurs, especially as they didn’t need to be written down to get the point across.

“Some days, I barely think about being trans. And other days, it’s an obstacle course.”

Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy the book, just not as much as I was expecting. A lot of really heavy topics were covered, such as transphobia, misgendering and forced outting - these weren’t the reason for my lower rating, but more how they were handled/written especially when a character was the one causing said topics. I was definitely hooked and finished the book in just over a day. It’s one that I think a lot of people, who don’t understand what being trans means, should read, however, overall it just made me feel drained.

“I raise my glass in toast and say (but not too loudly, “Here’s to being trans in Texas.””

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Transphobia, Violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Toxic friendship, Dysphoria, Suicidal thoughts, Outing, Emotional abuse, and Deadnaming

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, Injury/Injury detail, and Bullying

Minor: Alcoholism, Alcohol, Body shaming, Medical content, Vomit, Drug use, and Grief

wrinnola's review

emotional hopeful lighthearted reflective fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Violence, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Transphobia, Body shaming, and Hate crime

Moderate: Cursing, Domestic abuse, Bullying, Deadnaming, Lesbophobia, Outing, Dysphoria, Homophobia, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Vomit, Toxic friendship, Mental illness, Drug use, Sexual assault, and Sexual violence

maxmaxmax's review against another edition

emotional hopeful informative inspiring sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Dysphoria, Sexual harassment, Sexual assault, Hate crime, Physical abuse, Medical trauma, Deadnaming, Toxic friendship, Bullying, Child abuse, Medical content, Homophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Outing, and Suicidal thoughts

whosfernn's review against another edition

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I knew almost nothing about this book when I picked it up. Looking at the cover and the blurb, I assumed it would be a cute coming-of-age romance. What it actually is is probably the best, most moving tale of a trans boy I've ever read. It's a very realistic look at the trans experience, especially how it can be to be trans in southern America. Beautiful. One of my favourites, probably my favourite read of 2023 so far. Please read this book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Deadnaming, Injury/Injury detail, Toxic friendship, Transphobia, Medical content, Outing, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Death, Drug use, Lesbophobia, and Homophobia

Moderate: Alcohol, Mental illness, Infidelity, Abandonment, and Bullying

Minor: Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Alcoholism, Grief, and Religious bigotry

sage_alexandra's review

dark emotional sad

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Hate crime, Transphobia, and Outing

Moderate: Toxic relationship and Toxic friendship

Minor: Deadnaming

katieduffy151's review

emotional hopeful reflective sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.5

A great book to highlight the significant daily struggles of trans youth and what is unfortunately an all too common experience. The book is quite joyful and light-hearted at the beginning but a warning is needed because takes a drastic turn toward the end with incredibly violent scenes but I understand why it was included.

I would maybe suggest that this is a really insightful book for cisgender people to read in order to more fully understand the struggles of trans people (particularly teenagers), but a warning that it might be very triggering for those who are trans. I would like to think there are better books out there to read that highlight trans joy and love.

I still maintain Pony deserves better than Georgia. I also felt uncomfortable that his friend wouldn't respect his decision to go stealth given the potential safety risks, but I understand the issue of visibility is a complex one.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Homophobia, Dysphoria, Bullying, Deadnaming, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, Outing, and Transphobia

Minor: Toxic friendship and Toxic relationship

queerloras's review

challenging emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Hate crime, Body shaming, Outing, Physical abuse, Transphobia, Toxic friendship, Bullying, Dysphoria, Biphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Deadnaming, Homophobia, and Lesbophobia

that_bookworm_guy's review

dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

This is a hard book to review because right up until the ends, I really didn't like the characters. I get the point being made, I do. Some of the trans information and statistics were well done and a good addition. 

First of all, I defo want to put here that I am a trans man. So this is my view as just 1 trans person.

First of all, the romance. I'm defo not great at reading romance, but I definitely didn't find it cute. This could just be me, I'm really aware that romance just isn't my thing. But it felt so focused. I hated, hated how Pony chased Georgia after she said she didn't want to date him. He was counting down the days it had been since they kissed and was purposely making situations hoping for a kiss. And then after a big love show, she turned him down because he is trans and she was worried about her image. I know this is meant to be a point of growth for the characters as she learns that it doesn't matter but yeah, I didn't like this. 

Max, a trans friend, keeps putting pressure on Pony to be out and proud as a trans man when he keeps repeating that he wants to live stealth after what happened before. Then threatens that if he isn't out he will end the friendship. Emotional blackmail. Nope. As a trans person, I don't know a single trans person who would do this to another trans person. He does apologise later, but only after Pony comes out and gets attacked. Max is an incredibly shitty person and apologising is the very least, but yeah, I defo wouldn't trust or forgive someone for doing that. This is such a harmful situation, Pony should have 100% cut Max out of his life at the first sign of emotional manipulation. I really hope trans youths know that they don't ever have to come out like this. I live stealth in my life at work and I would 100% cut out a friend who expected me to share things online such as Facebook where it could risk outing me. Because respect is the least I ask for. Let alone from another trans person. 

The book also got very dark very suddenly at the end. I understand it happens in life. That trans people get assaulted, and that trans people are at a higher risk of suicide. But I just don't think this was handled well at all. It was almost sudden with no warning. 

If you're expecting a cute romance with some hard hitting bits, then it's worth looking into the TWs. Because this gets incredibly dark. 

There is also theme throughout where Georgia is trying to find out Pony's deadname. It's revealed in the end, and although Georgia says that she didn't really need to know what it was and it doesn't matter, it would have been a much nicer thing if the name was never revealed to the reader. If it truly doesn't matter, then don't mention it. I understand the point that was trying to be made, but it would have made a bigger point to not make a huge point of it. The first 2 letters are revealed part way through the book and I feel like it almost leads the reader to want to figure out his deadname. 

I've rated this 2.5/3* simply because there were some good points in this book and I was semi enjoying the train wreck of the romance thinking that it was just me not enjoying romance, but there are definitely some huge red flags with the romance.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Transphobia, Deadnaming, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Hate crime, Lesbophobia, Suicide, Dysphoria, Injury/Injury detail, Outing, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Mental illness, and Suicidal thoughts