Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

Youngblood by Sasha Laurens

11 reviews

thebookaddict's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark inspiring sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

🇳🇱: Dit boek was niet helemaal wat ik ervan verwacht had, maar het was leuk om te lezen. De focus ligt veel bij de queer romance en veel minder bij het verhaal eromheen, ik had het juist andersom verwacht. Ik las in de reviews dat het boek homofobisch was en soms zelfs een beetje racistisch. Ik keek hier anders naar. Ik vond het juist wel passen bij het boek, omdat we het hebben over 100 jaar oude (witte) vampiers die nog moeten "wennen" aan het idee dat het meer wordt uitgesproken als je queer bent en dat mensen met een andere huidskleur nu ook naar school gaan. Deze dingen kwamen sterk naar voren in het boek en dit kan dus ook kwetsend overkomen (lees zeker even de trigger warnings als je hier niet tegen kan). Ik vond het boek goed geschreven en je leest er vlot doorheen. Ik had alleen iets meer verhaallijn willen zien met betrekking tot de ziekte en het "medicijn" dit voelde nu juist meer als een zijlijn in het verhaal. Ook had ik meer willen lezen over de reünisten. Het concept van vampieren en een ziekte waar ze door sterven vond ik heel origineel bedacht.

🇬🇧: This book wasn't quite what I expected, but it was fun to read. The focus is much on the queer romance and much less on the story surrounding it, I expected it the other way around. I read in the reviews that the book was homophobic and sometimes even a bit racist. I looked at this differently. I thought it fit with the book, because we are talking about 100 year old (white) vampires who still have to "get used" to the idea that it is more pronounced if you are queer and that people with a different skin color now also go to school. These things were strongly highlighted in the book and can therefore come across as hurtful (be sure to read the trigger warnings if you cannot handle this). I thought the book was well written and easy to read through. I just would have liked to see a little more storyline regarding the disease and the "medicine", this just felt more like a sideline in the story. I would also have liked to read more about the reunionists. I thought the concept of vampires and a disease that kills them was very original.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

lunep's review against another edition

Go to review page

adventurous dark mysterious tense slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

2.0


Expand filter menu Content Warnings

squarebrainhp's review

Go to review page

dark mysterious slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0


Expand filter menu Content Warnings

ezwolf's review

Go to review page

dark mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

1.5

To be completely honest I read this because of the controversy it gained on BookTok and I wanted to read it for myself so I borrowed it from the library. I don't think it was as discriminatory as people made it out to be, but I also wouldn't recommend this to anyone.

The plot seemed to just be "high school but with vampires" for a good chunk of the book and when it did finally introduce other plot points it left them unresolved. 

This book is told from Kat and Taylor's POVs and I disliked both of them. I didn't really like anyone in the book. I don't know if that's because I'm older and they're very teenager-y or if they were actually unlikable. Taylor suffered from "I'm not like other girls" syndrome and Kat came off borderline homophobic for a good chunk of the book. Also both of them were white but the narrative pushed very hard to show us how they were the only (or some of the only) vampires who cared about diversity and equality and yet the only characters that were not white were one of the mean girls who bullied both Taylor and Kat and the popular rich boy who was unaware of rich vampire privilege. 

Also Galen's parent's whole backstory???

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

celestriakle's review

Go to review page

adventurous lighthearted mysterious fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

This book promised me a trashy, CW-style teen drama with lesbians and vampires, and that's exactly what I got. It met all my expectations, and it was a lot of fun! If you want a miracle of writing or a really well done book, this isn't that, but if you just want a good time, then by all means, enjoy this. Highly recommend if you're in the age group this book is actually aimed at.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

decklededgess's review

Go to review page

dark emotional funny informative lighthearted mysterious reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

2.0

trigger warnings: alcohol, sexual assault, blood and gore, death, bullying, homophobia and lesbophobia, death, death of parent, classism, racism , sexism, misogyny, kidnapping, infertility, murder, terminal illness, toxic relationships, vomit, violence, colonization

I am choosing to look at this book from the lens of a teacher. This is a moment to learn and grow and hopefully never make a mess like this again. This, despite all the internet hating, is a redeemable piece of work. I am choosing to not write off the author as a terrible person. There's ample evidence in the book that the intentions to do the right thing were there, the execution was just piss poor and likely no one on their review team was equipped to catch the big errors. So I'm going to dig in as much as I can (based on what I remember since it has been like a month) and discuss what is fixable and what isn't.

To start with the positives, the sapphic romance in this book was actually amazing. That is what carried me through my entire reading experience. I badly wanted to know how these estranged best friends got around to dating each other. Kat and Taylor were compelling main characters. 

Kat is trying to access education at a vampire institution that her mom hates with no explanation for why. She's naive because her mom has kept her in the human world, away from other vampires to learn their social norms and so on. Kat WANTS a life with history, with vampiric culture and so on. She is without a doubt interesting. Foolish and a bit too idealistic, but that makes the potential for her growth actually captivating. Will she lose that rose coloured perspective of the vampire world? Will she learn that not all adults are out to protect her? She's annoying but she holds your attention in that same way that the Bachelor franchise does. I liked screaming at the page when she did something stupid.

Taylor is the opposite side of the same coin. Annoying and foolish but she KNOWS things. Despite the fact that she's angry and jaded, she's probably making the exact same mistakes that Kat is, just with different motivation. She's dealt with homophobia, is ostracized because she's the only out lesbian at the school and refusing to adhere to rules of femininity, she has been used by people wanting to experiment, is the favourite punching bag for administration, and more. She's angry. But she's all bluster and absolutely no punch. Beneath all that snarl is a sad girl wanting love. She can talk big talk, but when it comes to actually fighting back, pushing against the structural problems she loves to complain about, there is literally nothing. She's a chicken. Honestly...relatable. I hate to say it but that's what I'm like. 

So while they look like polar opposites, they're actually just two different manifestations of nurture. And honestly this is what I think makes them idiots to lovers. Like they're not just idiots about each other they're just idiots in general. A chaotic choice for main characters but when they end up working through conflict together, they're surprisingly functional. Their combination of braincells can finally create a spark.

If you shovel out all the other distracting stuff in the story, these two girls are actually really fascinating to follow through the book. I really enjoyed them despite the mess of it all.

Now the main issue with the plot of the book is that the author tried to take on too many topics. I realise that writing a book in the era of COVID and BLM that social consciousness is necessary but that doesn't mean overstepping bounds when the topic isn't ABOUT YOU. She tried to include discussion on racism, classism, homophobia in old established institutions, big pharma, capitalism and monopolies, the AIDS epidemic, and more. THAT IS ENOUGH SLICESSSSS.

Choosing to take on racism and classism where neither of your main characters is a person of colour is...a choice. But when only one of your secondary characters is biracial and all BIPOC characters are unnamed and mentioned to exist in single digits in this school...bestie maybe we should have thought that through. If you want to take on racism, give voice to someone who can speak on it. Had there been a main or even secondary character who had the authority to speak on racism in the vampire world it would have made sense. 

A secondary character would have allowed the author to not speak on their behalf. A sensitivity reader could and would have helped ensure that the book didn't scream white saviour complex. Alas. This book was full of virtue signals. BUT. I'm adding those as a tally in favour of the author. It shows that she wanted to write something that spoke on racist academic institutions. She either didn't know how to do it or she didn't find someone to check her missteps. There was effort made it just wasn't done well and that led to devastating results when it got in the hands of readers.

There was a line said by the biracial Indian character in the book that stuck out to me and many others. This boy is wealthy, from a legacy, and has a lot of ease moving through the world despite the fact that he carries a lot of pressure. I'm withholding my "boohoo sad rich boy" comment but just know that I am thinking it. He said "it's not as messed up as it sounds" in response to the main character asking him "[your parents met through] the British East India Company that colonized India?" The intention here, I think, was to say that oh no his parents didn't meet in weird circumstances. His BEIC daddy met his rich Indian princess mommy and courted her and it was totally normal she was not stolen at all. 

Now let's think historically. Back then how young did girls get married? Pretty fucking young. Back then, when a white colonizer came and asked for your hand in marriage while you witnessed people in your country get abused and cut down do you think your immediate response would have been to refuse?????? Yeah probably the fuck not. Did the author think through this nuance? I don't know but it doesn't look like it. It looked like she was trying to justify the existence of this happily married vampire couple and then move on. 

This character honestly would have been a great opportunity to dig into the racism of the vampire community, to discuss the impact of white vampires through centuries of colonization, to talk about the ugly underbelly of vampiric history. Nope. Brushed over. There was opportunity and it wasn't done the justice it deserved. It comes of as performative and ignoring the history of the BEIC in India. Again, there was potential, it was not done well. It could have been fixed if someone caught it.

Now I don't know how many people had issue with the blood borne disease subplot of this book but I have words. The context here is that vampires are now consuming a synthetic blood because humans were infected with a blood disease that, if consumed by vampires, killed them almost instantaneously. This disease is in the book is still affecting humans since Kat's mom is working in a medical facility for the patients of this disease. Due to this disease feeding on humans has become a very bad idea. Vampires are the ones who got eradicated in hordes due to careless feeding practices and lack of knowledge and protection. You know what that sounded like to me? The AIDS epidemic. Interesting take on the author's part if it was intentional. That meant that vampires were the equivalent of queer folks who died due to government negligence. Dicey choice because vampires were an antisemitic and anti Romani stereotype during the Holocaust where queer people were also intentionally murdered. 

But the flip side of this subplot is that the way humans were treated as dirty ALSO made them an allegory for queer people in the AIDS epidemic. The detail to this subplot makes me think it was intentional but the lack of clarity could also mean that it wasn't on purpose. All around a really messy choice. Could have been interesting. Could have actually been an appropriate topic considering the author is queer and therefore this topic is something they can talk about with ample care and nuance with the help of research. But again, we have a mess.

Closing out my compliment sandwhich, the subplots that were done relatively well were the discussions on homophobia and transphobia in institutions, and the combination of big pharma, capitalism, and classism. Taylor and Kat navigate two very different aspects of homophobia in this school that enforces conformity. Taylor gets ostracized for being out. Kat witnesses the homophobia and definitely doesn't stay quiet but it does affect her own journey coming to terms that she's lesbian. She wants approval and that forces her to ignore herself. I thought that was really well done.

The big pharma aspect of the book was also super cool. Without providing spoilers, the book talks about medical monopoly on access to important medicine (what I saw as a nod to insulin prices) and how the lack of a cure of certain diseases is financially beneficial for companies that hold monopolies. I really loved the dialogue and resolution around that. 

Plus the combination of classism and family legacies was pretty great too. Kat comes from a single parent household with no vampiric legacy to carry her through the world. She and her mom had to struggle to access the blood substitute, she gets shunned for not having a notable name at the school. The classism is applicable to Kat. White people struggle financially too because systemic institutions that uphold the wealthy also work to keep the poor that way no matter race. Combining her perspective with a BIPOC character in the book would have patched up a lot of blind spots in that regard but even without a BIPOC character to fortify that story line it was well done. Not perfect but it was making several good points.

Overall, there were some really solid efforts made in the book soured by some really egregious oversights. In my opinion, not enough to cancel the author and certainly not enough to write off her future work. I think the book shows she had good intentions but did not have the tools to execute it well. If I were teaching higher grades or even a college course on fictional writing and literally devices, this would be an excellent book on analyzing what to do and what not to do. The opportunity to fix is there, it's just a tad to late for the book.

I genuinely hope Sasha Laurens continues to learn from the constructive feedback she's getting from this book and writes more queer novels for a YA audience. There's incredible potential for growth. I would genuinely love to help with sensitivity reading on her books but obviously lmao not gonna happen. I'm cautiously optimistic for her future books.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

the_crooked_neighbor's review

Go to review page

adventurous mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.75

I really enjoyed reading this book and finished it over two days. It was a toss-up of whether it was a 5 star read but in the end I feel like I needed a bit more from the ending. I really enjoyed the world-building. The relationships between all the characters were interesting. The romance was cute. I appreciated that it is a fade to black.
I am glad that the ending had a couple of twists because some of them were a bit predictable. I am so glad Victor wasn't secretly her actual dad. I really wanted a bit more of how Galen ended up.

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

dhwani's review

Go to review page

adventurous inspiring mysterious medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

1.0

literally drafted all of this in my notes app so i wouldn't miss anything and made so many changes to add EVERYTHING that is wrong with this book. i still feel like i'm missing some of the stuff, though.

i absolutely HATED this book
like totally.

so our dear superwoke white MC Kat who is an ally because she asks pronouns okay,, her favourite hobby is to be an ally is all fine in her life except she's like really poor and has to do something to get out of that situation. she's also made to stay away from all the other vampires by her mom and now she longs to hang out with them so, she sends an application to this elitist vampire-only highschool and gets in with financial aid,, literally all her expenses paid

okay, it was fine till this point. her mom still doesn't want her to go and then Kat dearest is a rebel of course so she goes anyway.
there, she is coincidentally roommates with her ex?? bestfriend Taylor, then she tries to hard to fit in with the popular girls and catches the eye of the bad boy.

just like every other annoying “i'm not like other girls” girl.

then miss superwoke MC is also SO CONCERNED about the lack of “diversity” in the vampire school and then Taylor explains it by mentioning how no one would want to be at such a place where people are still crying about how they lost it all in the Civil War.

next, there's this one Chinese character, Lucy.
The author did such a terrible job with her character. she's shown as an evil person who is super rich and throws parties and then glamours humans to suck their blood when it is prohibited. like this one character had so much potential and it was ruined, just like that??

then comes our hot?? bad boy Galen.
who's half Indian.
as an Indian person, this part was so weird to read.
“My dad was involved with the British East India Company back in the day, so that's where they (his mom and dad) met.”
“You mean the British East India Company that colonised India?”
“He winced. “It's not as messed up as it sounds.” My mom doesn't talk about it much, but she's from a wealthy merchant family in Gujarat, and he spent years pursuing her until she agreed. He didn't just make off with a helpless girl from some village. Anyway, it was a long time ago.”

this is weird on literally so many levels. why is it “not as messed up??” the EIC colonised my country and looted it, made life hell for my ancestors, and it is not as messed up as it sounds?? they committed so many atrocities against Indian women. this is so wrong.

i also found a lot of parts that were anti-semitic but i would recommend reading Jewish own voices reviews for that.

i also hate it sm when the author makes discrimination an entire plot when they can display an inclusive community and still keep the plot going?? THE DISCRIMINATION WASN'T NEEDED IN THE WORST PLACE. harcote could be a queer-friendly school and the plot would've still held??

later, when MC is questioning her sexuality, she wonders how her friend told her “see? straight people always assume it's something you have to discover, but I was born this way” 
EXCUSE ME??
there are SO MANY queer people in this world (including me) who spent YEARS questioning their sexuality to arrive at a conclusion and feel confident about who we are. sexuality is fluid and not everyone is "born that way" or whatever it is. this overtly discourages questioning people because it looks like why are they even questioning they should just know if they're gay
LITERALLY HATE IT.

ALSO, UNNECESSARY HP REFERENCE.

moreover, the writing is BAD because wtf is
“the realisation burst over me like shit from a flock of seagulls”
and the characters were SO ANNOYING like making HORRIFYING decisions literally having no common sense also Kat was making up for her lack of father figure by making this billionaire her godfather daddy and trying to make him proud AND THE PLOT WAS SO PREDICTABLE UGHH i felt like a mastermind knowing exactly how this book went

spoilers??
also Taylor lost someone so close to her and THIS GIRL KAT IS THINKING OF TAYLOR HOOKING UP WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND GETTING JEALOUS LIKE MANNN LET HER GRIEVE WTF 
she's grieving and miss girl goes
“(not that i noticed what her lips were doing)”
LIKE GIRL SHE'S CRYING SHE JUST LOST SOMEONE TF IS WRONG WITH YOU????

in conclusion, a bad book which is extremely problematic with so much racism and homophobia. 





Expand filter menu Content Warnings

bookstagramrepresent's review

Go to review page

fast-paced
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No

0.25

I don’t even know what I just read but it was not good.

Kat, the Poor woke white girl MC - constantly mentions or shows off how much better she is than everyone else in the Vampire school, a lot of the racism and homophobia scenes are used just to show how much better she is than the other characters which is a huge problem. When she asks about why there aren’t more students of color one character doesn't know why and can list all of them for her because there are so few POC student and another asks her if she really thinks they would want to be at Harcote given the elitist racist vampire offspring - it is NEVER discussed that even if these other students of color wanted to go to Harcote they are not even granted an opportunity because of the racist school headmaster (a lot like what we see in real life with higher education institutions and academia circles). The racism in this book is so insidious. 

There is a part where she's struggling to figure out her sexuality/queer identity while still dating a boy from school and those scenes are odd. She remembers her two queer human friends from home and their isn't anything really mentioned other than " just knowing" you're queer. I was hoping for more acceptance with this struggle but she magically figures herself out after berating herself for even questioning and this too comes across harmful. It's OKAY to not know who you are or where you might be in the queer spectrum. For someone who is supposed to be a 2022 teen coming from such an open and woke community in California this doesn't match with how she is in the other parts of the book. She's also not inclusive at all with the language she uses for someone who is supposed to be so woke. 

Taylor is the other mc with a POV in the book and she faces a lot of lesbophobia which is not handled well or just used to make Kat look better or Taylor look like even more of a loaner. It's weird because while she is the only out queer person at the school she never once considers there could be other queer students until the absolute end of the book. She also comes across absolutely obsessed with Kat while engaging in a very toxic  and secret relationship with another character. She's honestly so selfish in her POV scenes. 
 
There are two Asian characters in this book. One is LucyK who is specifically mentioned as being Chinese when we first meet her (page 37 - I guess the white mc can just tell what kind of asian everyone is) and she is written as the mean girl's bff/sidekick. LucyK is a social media influencer and later holds an off campus vamp party in NYC SOHO and a really violent scene happens.  Lucy tricked 4 winners of her social media contest to come party with her in the city and they are used as feeders for the vamp party. It's all completely nonconsenual and the other characters talk about how Lucy always throws these parties. Just Lucy. I shouldn’t have to explain why this is so harmful to link the ONLY visible Chinese character to violence against people who cannot defend themselves. 

The other Asian character is the love interest king of the school type Galen. He is British and Indian. There is a whole scene (page 146) where he talks about how his white British father worked for the British East India company and that's how he met his mother in India, (who came from a wealthy merchant family so it's okay because "He didn't just make off with a helpless girl from some village" I cannot with this apologist colonizer bs. Racist apologist white colonizer passage shouldn’t have been in here PERIOD *screams* IDK why the woke mc didn’t call this out after she constantly comments on everything else. Kat asks him why he's not in the Students of Color Caucus and he basically replies that he's too busy and it's not for him which comes across as being beneath him and his status. I’m tired of white authors making their characters biracial for flavor and then disrespecting the nonwhite half!  Galen is an odd character, his one dimensional even when his character goes from supporting the status quo to trying to make things better. He also constantly forces himself on Kat, she even has a panic attack and a few other terrible physical reactions to him that he completely doesn't notice and just does what he wants anyway. She doesn't even process this trauma but we see the effect it has on her throughout their time together. 
 
Unnecessary HP reference in the arc WHICH SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. Replaced with a Stars Wars reference which still comes off as ableist. Funny how that did not make it better. 
 
There is a lot of ableist language (like the use of lame no one says this anymore please just stop) and the way things related with the disease in the book was just not handled well. The disease was created by one of the bad guys and put into BATS to spread into humanity. After everything we have endured with Asian Hate this pandemic that should NOT have been a plot point. The history of the disease in the book plays out almost like the HIV/AIDS epidemic and this does not sit right with me. The disease is also used to murder a character in the middle of the storyline and the way it's used as a threat is just wrong. 

I've seen several other reviewers on bookstagram call out the Antisemitism in this book as well. There are a lot of Antisemitic vampire tropes in this book and it's worth reading up on that. 

 

Expand filter menu Content Warnings

melaniereadsbooks's review

Go to review page

adventurous tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Thank you to Netgalley and Penguin Teen for the arc of this book!

Kat has wanted nothing more than to go to the Harcotte school for Youngblood Vampires and be among her own kind. When her dream is realized through an anonymous donor, she goes despite her mother's insistence that she stay. But it turns out her roommate is Taylor, her ex-best-friend and betrayer. And perhaps her mom was right about her not going to the school...

This book started so strong! Kat is a really interesting character and there are a lot of threads to follow throughout the story. There were a lot of different mysteries and realizations that kept the story interesting and moving along quickly, and the tension between Kat and Taylor was awesome. I really love Taylor and her unapologetic queerness and I loved to get to see inside her head as well as Kats.  Galen was also a really interesting character! I honestly wish he had been able to do more.

Was I incredibly disappointed by the HP reference? Yes, yes I was. But I heard that that will be taken out for the final version, which I hope is true. In the end, my rating was lowered a little because I wasn't satisfied by the pacing at the end or how everything turned out. I was really invested for the first 90%, but it just didn't end strong for me.

That being said, I overall really enjoyed this one!

Expand filter menu Content Warnings