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rubyclaire's review against another edition
4.0
The data in here was nuts!!! An accessible read that has given me so much content to draw upon in discussions about feminism.
halfpotato_halfcheese's review against another edition
5.0
I’m not usually a reader of non-fiction but Annabel Crabb has nailed this book, it folds research and statistics with witty humour to make strong arguments around gender roles, career progression and raising families. Definitely worth a read for anyone really. Lots of food for thought. As it was written in 2014, would love to see how to years have changed or not changed the data presented in this novel. My feeling is most of this holds strong and true still.
emz2702's review against another edition
5.0
Really great and insightful book. I enjoyed Annabel’s reading of the audiobook, and have put my family and partner onto it. I’m a female engineer, and it’s great to hear a bunch of different angles to the problem and some statistics too! My only complaint is that this book doesn’t offer individual solutions to help bridge the wife drought gap. There’s some policy and societal change drafted out, but on a interpersonal level there’s very little. Not that it’s a big complaint - a large and complex issue such as this, with many different relationship and family dynamics involved could hardly give individual solutions without alienating other readers to some degree.
So great job Annabel! I look forward to the next insightful tale you have - possibly a follow up in a few years after we see how Covid plays out on the working from home statistics?
So great job Annabel! I look forward to the next insightful tale you have - possibly a follow up in a few years after we see how Covid plays out on the working from home statistics?
novel_nomad's review against another edition
5.0
5 bring-on-the-rain stars
Annabel Crabb manages to deliver a humorous and insightful perspective of the pressures faced by women and men in the professional spheres. Yes, this book delivers the hard truths that women who wish to pursue professions are often deterred, judged and criticised when wanting a family and a career - as the societal assumption that women are defined by their family and men by their job is still a giant spectre hovering over us. Therefore, women who wish to continue with their career need the support offered by a wife. Crabb by no means expects the partner to leave work to and perform the lion's share of housework and childcare, but the work and childcare are shared and there is open communication between the couple to support each other in their career pursuits.
Another great point Crabb touches upon is the derision and confusion men face when they want to take parental leave or reduce their hours to spend more time with their families. To the extent that one man was asked not to involve himself in his young daughter's Year 1 classroom activities, as is was a space for mothers and children. These social assumptions not only affect relationships and career growth but hinder the potential economic growth that can be achieved when women and men are happier in their work-family-life balance.
Crabb offers facts, personal experiences, interviews and statistics with a flair and passion that makes the information understandable and motivational. She concludes her book perfectly, that this drought is not only affecting women's careers but men's family life and therefore rain is good for all parties.
Annabel Crabb manages to deliver a humorous and insightful perspective of the pressures faced by women and men in the professional spheres. Yes, this book delivers the hard truths that women who wish to pursue professions are often deterred, judged and criticised when wanting a family and a career - as the societal assumption that women are defined by their family and men by their job is still a giant spectre hovering over us. Therefore, women who wish to continue with their career need the support offered by a wife. Crabb by no means expects the partner to leave work to and perform the lion's share of housework and childcare, but the work and childcare are shared and there is open communication between the couple to support each other in their career pursuits.
Another great point Crabb touches upon is the derision and confusion men face when they want to take parental leave or reduce their hours to spend more time with their families. To the extent that one man was asked not to involve himself in his young daughter's Year 1 classroom activities, as is was a space for mothers and children. These social assumptions not only affect relationships and career growth but hinder the potential economic growth that can be achieved when women and men are happier in their work-family-life balance.
Crabb offers facts, personal experiences, interviews and statistics with a flair and passion that makes the information understandable and motivational. She concludes her book perfectly, that this drought is not only affecting women's careers but men's family life and therefore rain is good for all parties.
tasmanian_bibliophile's review against another edition
4.0
‘A ‘wife’ can be male or female. Whether they’re men or women, though, the main thing wives are is a cracking professional asset.’
Many women who juggle work and family responsibilities would like to have a wife. Someone to take care of the domestic stuff, including cooking, cleaning, childcare and ironing. In some households these responsibilities are shared, but why – in the second decade of the 21st century – is this still an issue? After all, equality (of opportunity and pay) has been around for forty years or more, or has it?
‘Who gets wives? Dads do. Most mums have to make do with alternative arrangements.’
This entertaining and thought-provoking work is about men and women, family and work. About the barriers that exist for men as well as for women in trying to balance work and family. About the differences in approach to work which, for me, a comment by George Megalogenis (included in the book) summarises neatly: ‘Women have trouble asking for pay rises, and men have trouble asking for time off’. That’s surely part of it, but my own observation is that men are not always able to get the same flexible working arrangements available to women in the same workplaces. How many of these barriers are cultural, as distinct from legal? While Ms Crabbe is writing about Australia, many of the issues will apply similarly in other developed economies.
‘Well having a wife is an economic privilege. A privilege far more men enjoy than women. But it’s a state of affairs so broadly accepted as to be barely mentioned.’
Some of us who read this book have managed to survive the experience of combining full-time work and parenting. Some of us have been fortunate enough to have partners who shared the responsibilities, joys and difficulties and were able to agree on ‘spheres of influence’ thereby ensuring that we each knew who was cooking, ironing, paying bills, mowing the lawn and servicing the cars. And times have changed in the 30+ years since my child was a baby: bills can now be paid online, which provides some of us with more flexibility.
‘A mother who works is a ‘working mother’. A father who works is just a normal guy.’
There are reminders, too, of the impact of marriage on women in the Australian Public Service. Until 1966, women had to resign from the Australian Public Service on the eve of their marriage. (It’s worth noting that this provision was not universally supported when it was introduced in 1922: Ms Crabb includes some of the debate in this book.)
‘Is it not in the public interest that a female officer on her marriage should retire from the Service?’ [1922, Federal Parliament]
This isn’t a book about women versus men. It’s about the barriers couples face as family units (usually men and women), sharing responsibility for domestic issues including parenting, and participation in the world (usually in the form of paid work) outside domestic responsibilities. It’s a discussion about how we value both. It’s not a detached discussion: while there are references to case studies and statistics, Ms Crabb also includes her own experiences as a working parent.
I’d recommend this book to anyone (male or female) interested in the barriers and challenges of combining parenting and working.
‘Perhaps in our ferociously joined-up new world, in which unthinkable volumes of information and intelligence are available from anywhere at a keystroke, we will finally realise that the worlds of home and work can’t make sense until you look at them side by side. That a drought in one place created a drought in the other. And that rain is good for everyone.’
My thanks to Netgalley and Random House Australia for an opportunity to read an advance copy of this book.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Many women who juggle work and family responsibilities would like to have a wife. Someone to take care of the domestic stuff, including cooking, cleaning, childcare and ironing. In some households these responsibilities are shared, but why – in the second decade of the 21st century – is this still an issue? After all, equality (of opportunity and pay) has been around for forty years or more, or has it?
‘Who gets wives? Dads do. Most mums have to make do with alternative arrangements.’
This entertaining and thought-provoking work is about men and women, family and work. About the barriers that exist for men as well as for women in trying to balance work and family. About the differences in approach to work which, for me, a comment by George Megalogenis (included in the book) summarises neatly: ‘Women have trouble asking for pay rises, and men have trouble asking for time off’. That’s surely part of it, but my own observation is that men are not always able to get the same flexible working arrangements available to women in the same workplaces. How many of these barriers are cultural, as distinct from legal? While Ms Crabbe is writing about Australia, many of the issues will apply similarly in other developed economies.
‘Well having a wife is an economic privilege. A privilege far more men enjoy than women. But it’s a state of affairs so broadly accepted as to be barely mentioned.’
Some of us who read this book have managed to survive the experience of combining full-time work and parenting. Some of us have been fortunate enough to have partners who shared the responsibilities, joys and difficulties and were able to agree on ‘spheres of influence’ thereby ensuring that we each knew who was cooking, ironing, paying bills, mowing the lawn and servicing the cars. And times have changed in the 30+ years since my child was a baby: bills can now be paid online, which provides some of us with more flexibility.
‘A mother who works is a ‘working mother’. A father who works is just a normal guy.’
There are reminders, too, of the impact of marriage on women in the Australian Public Service. Until 1966, women had to resign from the Australian Public Service on the eve of their marriage. (It’s worth noting that this provision was not universally supported when it was introduced in 1922: Ms Crabb includes some of the debate in this book.)
‘Is it not in the public interest that a female officer on her marriage should retire from the Service?’ [1922, Federal Parliament]
This isn’t a book about women versus men. It’s about the barriers couples face as family units (usually men and women), sharing responsibility for domestic issues including parenting, and participation in the world (usually in the form of paid work) outside domestic responsibilities. It’s a discussion about how we value both. It’s not a detached discussion: while there are references to case studies and statistics, Ms Crabb also includes her own experiences as a working parent.
I’d recommend this book to anyone (male or female) interested in the barriers and challenges of combining parenting and working.
‘Perhaps in our ferociously joined-up new world, in which unthinkable volumes of information and intelligence are available from anywhere at a keystroke, we will finally realise that the worlds of home and work can’t make sense until you look at them side by side. That a drought in one place created a drought in the other. And that rain is good for everyone.’
My thanks to Netgalley and Random House Australia for an opportunity to read an advance copy of this book.
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
steph_84's review against another edition
4.0
Interesting, easy to read, and thought-provoking. Also excellent for myth-busting if you get stuck in a conversation with someone who thinks we already have gender equality. The style is a bit repetitive when read cover-to-cover in one go but would suit busy parents who only have time to read in short intermittent bursts, or someone reading/photocopying single chapters.
I hope this sparks many conversations, leading to changes both in homes and workplaces.
I hope this sparks many conversations, leading to changes both in homes and workplaces.