Reviews with content warning for Misogyny - Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

Most of what's in this book is stuff I knew already. I think this would be more useful for people with more complicated relationships with sex and their bodies. The author's tone is compassionate and knowledgeable, and I'm sure the book has helped and will continue to help lots of people. I wish that the author was more specific about using terms like "cis" and "dfab" since that's the audience she's discussing.

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blackcatkai's review against another edition

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funny informative reflective slow-paced

3.0

CW: cis-centered language/science, sexual content, medical content, mentions of sexual assault

overall, a lot of good information. lots of basics, more in-depth discussions, every section has a tl;dr breakdown of what you just read that makes it easier to know basic points to refer to later. it was a bit repetitious with some information/sentences & the author would often mention how something is talked about more in other chapters. generally not a bad thing, but it happened a lot so it just felt like too much at times.

there are a couple stories interwoven throughout the book that correlate with the section/topic being discussed but they often feel disjointed as theyre so broken up that it's easy, when you get back to it, to be confused a moment before the context comes back to you. understandable why the author set it up this way, the execution was just slightly off for me, personally.

Nagoski brings up tons of good points, information, and i did absolutely get emotional in specific sections that super hit home for me, personally, so it can definitely be a book i go back to reference for myself in the future, but i do wish it was a bit more inclusive in it's language in general. i get it, but as a nonbinary afab person, it just got to me, mostly in the beginning sections.

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bluecloud75's review

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emotional hopeful informative medium-paced

5.0

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toffishay's review

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emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective slow-paced

4.25

This was such an awesome informative read. If you want to learn more about women's sexuality, then you will absolutely find something worthwhile here. I will also say that I learned some valuable tools and gained insight into other parts of my life as well. Awesome all around :)

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toberomanced's review

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emotional funny informative inspiring reflective medium-paced

5.0

This book should be required reading for all vulva owners and their partners. It redefines sex and confronts the societal pressures and falsehoods that are heaped upon us every day. Not only does it discuss the acts of sex itself, but it dives deep into the psychology of self-criticism, trauma, and doubt.

The takeaway from this book is simple: You are normal.

If you've ever felt broken, unworthy, or unloveable, I strongly urge you to pick up this book. It is both funny and powerful.

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clovelatte's review

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funny informative medium-paced

5.0

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keelin's review

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hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

5

This book is amazing. I need every cis person to read this book right now. Reasons why this is amazing:
- acknowledges the fact that this is only about cis people and that there is still a lack of research on trans people.
- discusses anatomy in detail and historically to give you a broad understanding.
- talks about sex/sexual function from a physical, mental, physiological, moral, cultural, social, and trauma related point of view.
- has real life examples and worksheets to help you process and understand the different things that are brought up and addressed.
- consistently reminds you that you are normal and what is something that should be brought to a doctor's notice.
- compares male and female sexual function and says why it is bullshit to use male standards as THE standard when both are so vastly different
And honestly there is so much more to this book that I could go on forever. I've bought it so I can reread it and annotate it and really get these lessons in my brain. I'm recommending this to every person I see because I think it is just so important.

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