Scan barcode
zedohee's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
an adequate character study but tepid lovestory that lingers too much on minutia & brushes over relevant details. the evolution of the two women was realistic, if a bit scattered, but the ending was at once abrupt and dragged out and because of this, the story sort of just. fizzles out.
i think liking/caring about this story hinges on whether or not the reader buys the romance and relationship between the two main characters at the centre of the book and well, i never really did (infatuation, sure but all consuming, once in a lifetime passion? i don’t think so). other than sex, i just didn’t get what it was that drew them to each other and kept them coming back even when all signs pointed to ‘let it go.’ they just came off like two people afraid to move on and grow, because they had had this really intense connection in the past and convinced themselves it was bigger than what it was. they kept trying to recreate that same energy with middling results and honestly it was exhausting.
though that might have more to do with the author explaining every. single. little. detail to no end. what hashimoto decided to elaborate on—every meal, outfit, weather—and what i thought was important—both character’s complicated relationship to alcohol, familial dynamics, relationship development—clearly didn’t mesh because i was baffled at all time given to fluffing up window dressing. why not delve into vital aspects of character development instead? why did elenor suddenly start drinking after being straight edge all her life? her father is an alcoholic and she’d feared losing control in the same way yet an offhanded remark about growing up is all she says? might as well not even acknowledged it. she and leena drink so much (there’s a tally and detailed description of every drink and what it tastes like) yet the fact that they use alcohol to numb, motivate and soothe themselves just never comes up? huh. just made very little sense to me.
also, as the book went on, the refusal to say bisexual went from baffling to irritating. it seems like the author tried to make a case for leena as an extremely repressed lesbian who hides even from herself because she’s, understandably, afraid of familial rejection and isolation but if that was what she was going for then imo it was an ineffectual execution. leena repeatedly mentioned not wanting the restriction of the gay label, and genuinely loving the man she was engaged to. they had little chemistry because she wasn’t who he truly wanted but she was sexually attracted to him. to me, this read as a layered examination of the life of a reluctant bisexual and i couldn’t help but wonder why the author kept acting like attraction to two sexes was this huge indescribable thing instead of like. a biological reality. just say bisexual. no one will die. also didn’t appreciate the constant reiteration of that ‘everyone is-somewhat-fluid-who-knows-what-the-future-holds’ bullshit irt sexuality. like some people are just gay, there is nothing more to it, nothing to revert to, no lingering heterosexuality waiting in the wings.
there’s measured and purposeful complication, and then there’s just vagueness for the sake of faux enlightenment, and that’s what i got from that angle. just really irritated me.
but for all its messiness, i adored the frank gayness that this book was cloaked in, seeing the other characters and community evolve alongside leena and eleanor; how they went from awe, to idealization to realistic acknowledgment. there was a lot of love and hope at the core of this story and i appreciated that but it never really landed the way it should have.
i just wanted to like this book so much more than i did—so much so that i gave it a second go almost a year after dnfing—but although it had all the parts of a favorite, the pieces came together in a way that simply didn’t work for me.
looking back, my initial thoughts weren’t far off.
2.75
-
ORIGINAL THOUGHTS JAN 2023
overwritten, self conscious and constantly trying to justify its existence which is understandable but exhausting. disappointed because with more editing and a slicker, mature approach, this would’ve been just my thing.
i think liking/caring about this story hinges on whether or not the reader buys the romance and relationship between the two main characters at the centre of the book and well, i never really did (infatuation, sure but all consuming, once in a lifetime passion? i don’t think so). other than sex, i just didn’t get what it was that drew them to each other and kept them coming back even when all signs pointed to ‘let it go.’ they just came off like two people afraid to move on and grow, because they had had this really intense connection in the past and convinced themselves it was bigger than what it was. they kept trying to recreate that same energy with middling results and honestly it was exhausting.
though that might have more to do with the author explaining every. single. little. detail to no end. what hashimoto decided to elaborate on—every meal, outfit, weather—and what i thought was important—both character’s complicated relationship to alcohol, familial dynamics, relationship development—clearly didn’t mesh because i was baffled at all time given to fluffing up window dressing. why not delve into vital aspects of character development instead? why did elenor suddenly start drinking after being straight edge all her life? her father is an alcoholic and she’d feared losing control in the same way yet an offhanded remark about growing up is all she says? might as well not even acknowledged it. she and leena drink so much (there’s a tally and detailed description of every drink and what it tastes like) yet the fact that they use alcohol to numb, motivate and soothe themselves just never comes up? huh. just made very little sense to me.
also, as the book went on, the refusal to say bisexual went from baffling to irritating. it seems like the author tried to make a case for leena as an extremely repressed lesbian who hides even from herself because she’s, understandably, afraid of familial rejection and isolation but if that was what she was going for then imo it was an ineffectual execution. leena repeatedly mentioned not wanting the restriction of the gay label, and genuinely loving the man she was engaged to. they had little chemistry because she wasn’t who he truly wanted but she was sexually attracted to him. to me, this read as a layered examination of the life of a reluctant bisexual and i couldn’t help but wonder why the author kept acting like attraction to two sexes was this huge indescribable thing instead of like. a biological reality. just say bisexual. no one will die. also didn’t appreciate the constant reiteration of that ‘everyone is-somewhat-fluid-who-knows-what-the-future-holds’ bullshit irt sexuality. like some people are just gay, there is nothing more to it, nothing to revert to, no lingering heterosexuality waiting in the wings.
there’s measured and purposeful complication, and then there’s just vagueness for the sake of faux enlightenment, and that’s what i got from that angle. just really irritated me.
but for all its messiness, i adored the frank gayness that this book was cloaked in, seeing the other characters and community evolve alongside leena and eleanor; how they went from awe, to idealization to realistic acknowledgment. there was a lot of love and hope at the core of this story and i appreciated that but it never really landed the way it should have.
i just wanted to like this book so much more than i did—so much so that i gave it a second go almost a year after dnfing—but although it had all the parts of a favorite, the pieces came together in a way that simply didn’t work for me.
looking back, my initial thoughts weren’t far off.
2.75
-
ORIGINAL THOUGHTS JAN 2023
overwritten, self conscious and constantly trying to justify its existence which is understandable but exhausting. disappointed because with more editing and a slicker, mature approach, this would’ve been just my thing.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Outing, Homophobia, and Infidelity
theyellowbrickreader's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol
abigailkokitus's review
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism, Alcohol, Biphobia, Grief, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Outing, and Sexual content
Minor: Racial slurs, Deportation, Racism, Colonisation, Cursing, Death, and Dementia
gaycornbread420's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Outing, and Sexual content
Moderate: Death, Alcoholism, Grief, Dementia, and Homophobia
deezy's review
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Toxic relationship, Sexual content, Sexism, Outing, Infidelity, and Alcohol
Moderate: Biphobia and Death
Minor: Alcoholism
leighannebfd3b's review
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Biphobia, Grief, Homophobia, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Outing, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Death
Minor: Alcoholism, Cultural appropriation, Dementia, Medical content, Racism, and Religious bigotry
More...