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amieib's review against another edition
4.0
This book could alternately be called The Effects of Patriarchy: Nigerian Edition
This book mainly centres around four Nigerian women who did the best they could to survive a culture and system that were built without keeping their best interests in mind and continuously failed them. It's a book that paints the harsh reality of being a woman in Nigeria without using any buzzwords or hitting anyone over the head with the overall message.
It is a book that illustrates how the patriarchy is a stick that beats both men and women but does not hide the fact that the latter group is far more affected. It is a book that I wish the world in general could take lessons from. It is a book that will leave you thinking and will make you empathise with people you don't even know or like. It made me question my beliefs and thought processes.
Bolanle and Akin were by far my two favourite characters. For several reasons, I think they will both stay with me for a while.
It was the perfect book to end my 2023 reading year with.
This book mainly centres around four Nigerian women who did the best they could to survive a culture and system that were built without keeping their best interests in mind and continuously failed them. It's a book that paints the harsh reality of being a woman in Nigeria without using any buzzwords or hitting anyone over the head with the overall message.
It is a book that illustrates how the patriarchy is a stick that beats both men and women but does not hide the fact that the latter group is far more affected. It is a book that I wish the world in general could take lessons from. It is a book that will leave you thinking and will make you empathise with people you don't even know or like. It made me question my beliefs and thought processes.
Bolanle and Akin were by far my two favourite characters. For several reasons, I think they will both stay with me for a while.
It was the perfect book to end my 2023 reading year with.
mindof_escape's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
mysterious
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
niniscore's review
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity
Moderate: Rape and Abortion
steviemariedl's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
3.25
lozar's review against another edition
emotional
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Bolanie enters the marriage and is seen by the other wives as disruptive and what could possibly break this family apart. In the end she turns out to be the reason the family stays together, and frees them of the weight of family secrets.
raulbime's review against another edition
4.0
Read in one sitting, this is a fast-paced and very entertaining book. Bolanle, the fourth wife of a traditional polygamist patriarch, is the protagonist of this tale and it is her arrival, and its implications, into Baba Segi's household that sets the story moving. The writer shifts from the protagonist's narration to the other characters' to the third person quite seamlessly and the drama and humour in this book, expertly written.
If I haven't discussed enough about the plot, it is because the mystery and secret in the story is a big enough element that a detailed explanation would spoil the story. This was a good story though, which I enjoyed very much.
If I haven't discussed enough about the plot, it is because the mystery and secret in the story is a big enough element that a detailed explanation would spoil the story. This was a good story though, which I enjoyed very much.
kemmie's review against another edition
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
aline_monteiro's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
I enjoyed this book so much until the last couple of chapters. Although it mentioned some heavy things it made me laugh. But it got sad towards the end and my heart actually feels a bit heavy.
This is a story about trauma and the things people do because of it. Things that are not right but understandable to some degree.
Baba Segi can come off as a disgusting man sometimes. He is not gentle, but I don’t think he is a bad person. He is the product of the patriarchy, and he is a man in a world “ruled” by man and a lot man believe they need to play into those rules to get respect from other man. I thought it was so funny how he thought so highly of himself but his wives were smarter than him. But at the end, I felt sorry for him.
From all the wives, I feel more sympathy for Iya Segi, the first wife. I did not like her in the beginning. After reading her backstory I understood her so much more. Baba Segi owes his success and wealth to her. And I think she deserved an happier ending.
Iya Tope annoyed me. I understand she is kind of a simple minded woman. She doesn’t ask for too much but also, I wanted her to speak up more. But she was kind. And to me one of the funniest part of the book was when she ran to the meat man three days after giving birth. I was shocked. Was it that good?
Iya Femi is just evil and selfish. She went through a lot. And she thinks that because of that she is justified in the evil things that she did. And she uses God to do it.
Bolanle disappointed me a little bit. From all the wives, her reason to be with Baba Segi was a bit harder to get. But our traumas makes us see life in mess up ways sometimes. It was almost like she was punishing herself. What she said at the end of the book made me roll my eyes. She thinks she is better than them. But I don’t think she is.
My heart broke for Segi.
I remember watching a video that says that Nigerians are so poetic in the way they say simple things and this book gave a lot of examples of that. It was so dramatic and funny.
This was an enjoyable reading experience.
This is a story about trauma and the things people do because of it. Things that are not right but understandable to some degree.
Baba Segi can come off as a disgusting man sometimes. He is not gentle, but I don’t think he is a bad person. He is the product of the patriarchy, and he is a man in a world “ruled” by man and a lot man believe they need to play into those rules to get respect from other man. I thought it was so funny how he thought so highly of himself but his wives were smarter than him. But at the end, I felt sorry for him.
From all the wives, I feel more sympathy for Iya Segi, the first wife. I did not like her in the beginning. After reading her backstory I understood her so much more. Baba Segi owes his success and wealth to her. And I think she deserved an happier ending.
Iya Tope annoyed me. I understand she is kind of a simple minded woman. She doesn’t ask for too much but also, I wanted her to speak up more. But she was kind. And to me one of the funniest part of the book was when she ran to the meat man three days after giving birth. I was shocked. Was it that good?
Iya Femi is just evil and selfish. She went through a lot. And she thinks that because of that she is justified in the evil things that she did. And she uses God to do it.
Bolanle disappointed me a little bit. From all the wives, her reason to be with Baba Segi was a bit harder to get. But our traumas makes us see life in mess up ways sometimes. It was almost like she was punishing herself. What she said at the end of the book made me roll my eyes. She thinks she is better than them. But I don’t think she is.
My heart broke for Segi.
I remember watching a video that says that Nigerians are so poetic in the way they say simple things and this book gave a lot of examples of that. It was so dramatic and funny.
This was an enjoyable reading experience.
wamz's review against another edition
4.0
Wonderful book. Very well written. Shoneyin gave her characters very interesting unique identities. She brought them to life and at end you felt like you knew each of them well.
bookishevy's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I saw this book on Instagram last month and, after reading the synonsis, had to have it. The audiobook did not disappoint.
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives tells the story of Baba Segi, an uneducated but hardworking patriarch in Nigeria. Baba Segi has three wives: Iya Segi, Iya Trope and Iya Femi, and seven children. As the title suggests, each of these women has secrets. It's not until he introduces a fourth wife, the college educated Bolanle, that these secrets start to unravel.
The relationships between these wives are made even more complex when Bolanle enters the picture because she's so different from the others. She's educated, and they immediately see her as a threat they need to remove. Baba Segi leaves his wives to their own devices. As long as the chores are done, he's fed, and they are sexually available to him on their night he's happy. He's completely unaware of the battle for supremacy taking place under his roof.
I loved this story. I was going to get a physical copy, but after reading reviews of the audiobook, I downloaded it immediately. Author Shoneyin narrates and performs all of her characters, and I was thoroughly entertained. Each woman tells of how she became Baba Segi's wife and gives her perspective on what it's like living in a polygamist household - how a fourth wife means less time for each of them, having sex with a man who doesn't do foreplay, the pressure of not only giving him children but a male heir - and shares her feelings on the other wives. Every woman has a past, even one as naive as Bolanle. They each have their reasons for being his wife and doing what they do to maintain their marriages and keep a roof over their children's heads. But the first three wives share a secret, and when it comes out, I dare you not to howl with laughter. It's just too good. The hypocrisy, the sabotaging, the betrayal, the drama.
If you enjoy Nigerian soap operas, you would love this audiobook. Shoneyin is great in all of the roles, and her Baba Segi is especially hilarious.
The Secret Lives of Baba Segi's Wives tells the story of Baba Segi, an uneducated but hardworking patriarch in Nigeria. Baba Segi has three wives: Iya Segi, Iya Trope and Iya Femi, and seven children. As the title suggests, each of these women has secrets. It's not until he introduces a fourth wife, the college educated Bolanle, that these secrets start to unravel.
The relationships between these wives are made even more complex when Bolanle enters the picture because she's so different from the others. She's educated, and they immediately see her as a threat they need to remove. Baba Segi leaves his wives to their own devices. As long as the chores are done, he's fed, and they are sexually available to him on their night he's happy. He's completely unaware of the battle for supremacy taking place under his roof.
I loved this story. I was going to get a physical copy, but after reading reviews of the audiobook, I downloaded it immediately. Author Shoneyin narrates and performs all of her characters, and I was thoroughly entertained. Each woman tells of how she became Baba Segi's wife and gives her perspective on what it's like living in a polygamist household - how a fourth wife means less time for each of them, having sex with a man who doesn't do foreplay, the pressure of not only giving him children but a male heir - and shares her feelings on the other wives. Every woman has a past, even one as naive as Bolanle. They each have their reasons for being his wife and doing what they do to maintain their marriages and keep a roof over their children's heads. But the first three wives share a secret, and when it comes out, I dare you not to howl with laughter. It's just too good. The hypocrisy, the sabotaging, the betrayal, the drama.
If you enjoy Nigerian soap operas, you would love this audiobook. Shoneyin is great in all of the roles, and her Baba Segi is especially hilarious.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape
Moderate: Child death and Domestic abuse