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forestfloor's review
challenging
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
I read this in one sitting during a very long train journey, so it wasn't so challenging that I had to space it out over more than one day, but it was a very, very difficult read.
I'm struggling to work out how I feel about it, honestly.
I think that a book targeting the aftermath of the murder of trans woman of colour was always going to be tricky to get right, especially when the chosen perspective of the story is that of a white cis woman.
The book had some things I appreciated: I think that the space it allows for grief to be unhinged and all consuming was really valuable. I also think the side characters were written really excellently.
However, I did find some of it very uncomfortable. Part of this is just that it was triggering, as a trans person, to read the full extent of Char's murder, in all it's gore and desecration. More than that though, I found myself wondering at several points if the narrative was coming off as fetishistic. I feel that there was almost more description of Char's body than of her personality, and it seemed to focus quite a lot on sexualising her skin colour and transness. Many of Maddie's actions are difficult to read, but this isn't necessarily a flaw of the story.
What I really find to be a problem in this book is that Char's murder serves as a learning experience for Maddie. I don't like that this book is so heavily centred on one of the worst issues impacting trans women of colour and yet all of the living characters are white and cis. I feel that some of the characters should have provided voices from the community most affected by this kind of violence.
I'm struggling to work out how I feel about it, honestly.
I think that a book targeting the aftermath of the murder of trans woman of colour was always going to be tricky to get right, especially when the chosen perspective of the story is that of a white cis woman.
The book had some things I appreciated: I think that the space it allows for grief to be unhinged and all consuming was really valuable. I also think the side characters were written really excellently.
However, I did find some of it very uncomfortable. Part of this is just that it was triggering, as a trans person, to read the full extent of Char's murder, in all it's gore and desecration. More than that though, I found myself wondering at several points if the narrative was coming off as fetishistic. I feel that there was almost more description of Char's body than of her personality, and it seemed to focus quite a lot on sexualising her skin colour and transness. Many of Maddie's actions are difficult to read, but this isn't necessarily a flaw of the story.
What I really find to be a problem in this book is that Char's murder serves as a learning experience for Maddie. I don't like that this book is so heavily centred on one of the worst issues impacting trans women of colour and yet all of the living characters are white and cis. I feel that some of the characters should have provided voices from the community most affected by this kind of violence.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gore, Sexual violence, Transphobia, Grief, Murder, Violence, and Hate crime
Moderate: Stalking, Alcohol, Fire/Fire injury, Lesbophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Drug abuse, and Rape
Minor: Vomit
phvntomstvrs's review
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5
I really wanted to like this book, I appreciated some of the introspection into Maddie's grief process but that's where my enjoyment ended.
The approach to the subject matter felt tone deaf, fetishistic, and focused way more on Maddie's grief over missing Charlotte rather than the atrocity she (Charlotte) experienced. I was under the impression that there would be more focus on Charlotte as this was meant to talk about the disproportionately high rates of transphobic violence for twoc, but the parts about her (except for details on her murder) feel superfluous and like romanticization, rather than a look into her character and why Maddie loved her so much. She didn't feel like a person outside of what happened to her.
There are many points in the story where the author goes into depth about the violence and mutilation Charlotte experienced that were incredibly painful to read for me, as a trans person intimately familiar with transphobic violence, and I can't help wondering how the author or no one on their team didn't understand that this is in incredibly poor taste. I had to put the book down at several points because I genuinely felt sick reading the descriptions, and I'm not generally uncomfortable at all with gore.
I felt like the concept was interesting but absolutely fell flat, favoring the terror value of transphobic violence rather than appealing to humanize us. No thanks.
The approach to the subject matter felt tone deaf, fetishistic, and focused way more on Maddie's grief over missing Charlotte rather than the atrocity she (Charlotte) experienced. I was under the impression that there would be more focus on Charlotte as this was meant to talk about the disproportionately high rates of transphobic violence for twoc, but the parts about her (except for details on her murder) feel superfluous and like romanticization, rather than a look into her character and why Maddie loved her so much. She didn't feel like a person outside of what happened to her.
There are many points in the story where the author goes into depth about the violence and mutilation Charlotte experienced that were incredibly painful to read for me, as a trans person intimately familiar with transphobic violence, and I can't help wondering how the author or no one on their team didn't understand that this is in incredibly poor taste. I had to put the book down at several points because I genuinely felt sick reading the descriptions, and I'm not generally uncomfortable at all with gore.
I felt like the concept was interesting but absolutely fell flat, favoring the terror value of transphobic violence rather than appealing to humanize us. No thanks.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Gore, Hate crime, Sexual violence, Grief, Murder, Racism, Rape, and Transphobia
torismazarine's review
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Ableism, Death, Dysphoria, Fire/Fire injury, Mental illness, Sexism, Sexual violence, Drug use, Sexual harassment, Outing, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Sexual content, Misogyny, Murder, Sexual assault, Violence, Addiction, Body horror, Grief, Toxic friendship, Hate crime, Infidelity, Rape, Religious bigotry, Homophobia, Alcohol, Blood, Self harm, Kidnapping, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and Lesbophobia
micropunk's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I have a hard time figuring out how I feel about this book. The main character is really well written and I enjoyed reading her grappling with her thoughts and actions and the pain and grief that motivated it throughout the novel. However, there were a few points in which Char's identity as a Black Indigenous woman are handled with the grace of a toddler running with scissors.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Murder, Transphobia, Death, Injury/Injury detail, Body horror, Fire/Fire injury, Grief, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Torture, Gore, Panic attacks/disorders, Blood, Stalking, Drug use, Kidnapping, Hate crime, and Homophobia
tlaynejones's review against another edition
dark
emotional
funny
sad
medium-paced
4.0
I wasn’t sure at first, primarily because my expectations for this story were all wrong. I was expecting a fast paced vengeance based genre novel, this is not that. Instead this is a quirky, gentle, deeply emotional examination of grief. Hall has packed so much into this story of a woman struggling to come to terms with the brutal hate filled murder of her wife, an out Black Trans woman. I felt Hall was able to balance the weight of such heaviness and cruelty with the quirky banality of life that endures during a crisis. I found the relentlessness of the MC’s (irrational?) thinking well written and relatable, and her grief, when it finally softens, so moving that I cried.
There is quite a bit of religion/spirituality/Christianity in this story. It’s scattered throughout, and never reaches a point where I felt I was being proselytised to, but enough that I noticed, and wondered, why so much? The inclusion does encompass the anti queer hate that Christianity fosters, so it’s not all ‘pro’ religion. (I have since looked up the author, and discovered she is a Christian author)
Also, I’m not comfortable with the way the depiction of the murdered Black trans wife was written into the story. On one hand it makes sense that a truly beloved spouse may become idealised and almost angelic in grief. However, on the other hand, the only Black character in the story being brutalised and murdered, and that murder being the device from which all the white characters learn and grow makes me pretty uncomfortable. This is too close to the ‘magical negro’ trope. I wonder if the choice to make the murdered character a Black trans woman was an attempt to recognise and shine light on the real life murder rates of trans women of colour? I don’t know. But I did feel icky about some of this (I don’t want to explain specifics because of spoilers).
There was a lot to love about this novel. There are complexities and choices that are so understanding and others that are quite surprising. But there are also some issues. I would recommend, with the above caveats, and a big CW for anti queer hate and violence.
There is quite a bit of religion/spirituality/Christianity in this story. It’s scattered throughout, and never reaches a point where I felt I was being proselytised to, but enough that I noticed, and wondered, why so much? The inclusion does encompass the anti queer hate that Christianity fosters, so it’s not all ‘pro’ religion. (I have since looked up the author, and discovered she is a Christian author)
Also, I’m not comfortable with the way the depiction of the murdered Black trans wife was written into the story. On one hand it makes sense that a truly beloved spouse may become idealised and almost angelic in grief. However, on the other hand, the only Black character in the story being brutalised and murdered, and that murder being the device from which all the white characters learn and grow makes me pretty uncomfortable. This is too close to the ‘magical negro’ trope. I wonder if the choice to make the murdered character a Black trans woman was an attempt to recognise and shine light on the real life murder rates of trans women of colour? I don’t know. But I did feel icky about some of this (I don’t want to explain specifics because of spoilers).
There was a lot to love about this novel. There are complexities and choices that are so understanding and others that are quite surprising. But there are also some issues. I would recommend, with the above caveats, and a big CW for anti queer hate and violence.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Religious bigotry, Hate crime, Grief, Murder, Violence, Transphobia, Sexual violence, and Misogyny
Moderate: Toxic friendship, Lesbophobia, Injury/Injury detail, Gaslighting, Blood, and Mental illness
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