Reviews tagging 'Addiction'

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

155 reviews

david_slack110507's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

I had to space out listening to this audiobook as it is not really something that you can easily consume given the content and topic matters that it expertly focuses on and tackles. The book follows the relationship between 15-year-old student Vanessa and her much older English teacher Jacob Strane in 2000. The book follows their initial hidden relationship as well as how it evolves as the two get older to the point that in 2017, the second timeline, we see where the two are following multiple previous students of Strane coming out against him with allegations of sexual abuse, grooming and being inappropriate with them, against the backdrop of the MeToo movement. The topics that the book deals with are very heavy and can be quite triggering to some but it's never done in an exploitative way or without care. 

Vanessa is such an interesting character because she goes against the typical depiction of a victim being that she is not squeaky clean or 'good' and aware of what has been done to her but instead she isn't an incredible person, often being quite rude to those around her as a result of what has happened to her as well as also being adamant that what she and Strane had was "love" rather than acknowledging the grooming and abuse that took place and I think portraying Vanessa this way made her avoid becoming a cliche of a character that is only defined by their trauma or what has happened to them. It really is tough to see Vanessa first be so obviously taken advantage of and manipulated, through our viewpoint, and then continue to go through life seeing the relationship as loving to the point of putting down other women with similar stories as well as the women that come out against Strane over what he did to them. I really liked how the book also tackled some questions about the treatment of victims such as them being defined by what happened to them and nothing more as well as also this expectation that they should come forward about what has happened to them as soon as they can to help the cause or the movement and I think it allows the reader to take their own stance on whether or not they agree with how victims are treated in the media and by others when their trauma is made public. 

Strane is a truly despicable character and I hated him and this hate didn't just come about because he is a groomer as that would elicit hate from me already but the way that Kate Elizabeth Russell writes him is incredibly well done as he is even more hateable due to how manipulative he is and how unapologetic he is in his actions and what he has done, even going so far as to blame Vanessa for making him fall in love with her, a teen with no actual power (even lacking the power to consent at times during the book), as if it isn't his own fault. The continued hold he had over Vanessa to the point that she even wanted to try and replicate what their relationship was like with her professor later on in her life shows just how much he messed her up and I'm so glad that the book didn't try and be sympathetic to him because he doesn't deserve any. The book allows him to be complex such as him being emotional and open to Vanessa almost like a normal relationship as well as being aware of what he is doing without ever portraying him as someone who is good but has just done a bad thing. The resolution to his character and the investigation into his allegations being unresolved was very fitting for how many victims don't end up getting any resolution or any justice even with Strane's suicide in the face of these allegations, there lacks a feeling of comeuppance over what he has done. 

I really liked the topics and themes that this book deals with and with listening to this as an audiobook, Grace Gummer did an excellent job at bringing to life Vanessa as well as all the other characters and I didn't have any faults with her performances or really the book as a whole other than it sort of being a book you can only read once due to how heavy and disturbing it can be and the lack of a big revelation may disappoint some people but it feels true to life. I found myself researching more into the process that Russell wrote this book including responses to the backlash/polarising opinions that have come about due to its publication as well as the additional chapter in the audiobook featuring an interview between Russell and Gummer as well as the book's editor about the book and I found them all really interesting. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Cursing, Gaslighting, Rape, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Grief, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Addiction, Medical content, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Drug use, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Violence, Alcohol, Death, Suicide, Alcoholism, and Stalking

Minor: Animal death, Animal cruelty, and Infertility

ankita1996's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Sexual harassment, and Vomit

cjgmiranda220's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful informative reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Drug use, Grief, Rape, Self harm, Toxic relationship, Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal death, Emotional abuse, and Gaslighting

skye_c's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexual violence, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Suicide, Toxic relationship, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Infidelity, Misogyny, Animal death, Death of parent, Drug use, Addiction, and Alcohol

amberreadsgood's review against another edition

challenging dark tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

I read this fresh off the heels of Know My Name by Chanel Miller, so it was a very interesting contrast. I know one was a memoir and one was inspired-by-true-events fiction, but My Dark Vanessa still felt very close to reality. I read the afterword where feedback from the author's early readers said Vanessa was an unlikable and incomprehensible character, and I do agree. As someone who has not experienced anything like this, it was very difficult to understand why Vanessa thought and did the things she did, as a victim who desperately refused to think of herself as a victim, or of what happened to her as abuse and grooming. I didn't like her or understand her, but I appreciate the different viewpoint Russell has offered us, because I'm sure there are plenty of people  who have gone through similar trauma for whom this rings true.

Tangentially (concerning the afterword again), I found it really odd that Russell's early readers encouraged her to write from Strane's perspective instead of Vanessa's, given her unlikability and the inability to relate to her; were they suggesting we should relate/want to relate to the predator instead?? That's a troubling thought. I've never read it before, but if you want something like that, may as well read Lolita or any other number of book that I'm sure exists with this perspective. I applaud Russell for unapologetically sticking to Vanessa's perspective for her book.

I'm not sure I can say I really enjoyed this book, given that I didn't like any of the characters, it felt like reading a 17 year long train wreck get worse and worse, and the outcome at the end of it all was disappointing. But honestly, this is what roots the book in uncomfortable reality.

Strane offing himself, the school concluding the investigation on Strane and carrying on as normal, and Vanessa still struggling to come to terms with everything that has happened to her

are all things that are incredibly disappointing, frustrating, and heartbreaking, but it's what absolutely happens in real life. Brock Turner was sentenced to six months' incarceration, served only half that.

Strane killed himself because he was a coward who would not face up to the fact that he groomed and raped a 15 year old (and in fact justified it over and over to himself and Vanessa to the point where they both believed it), and never faced any formal consequences for his heinous actions.

Life imitates art indeed.

I think the author achieved what she set out to do. It might not have 100% been my cup of tea, but I admire the approach she took. It was different, difficult, and full of uncomfortable feelings in a way I thought felt realistic. Vanessa is complicated, she has a wealth of complex and painful emotions towards everyone in her life including herself, which I think reflects very well how terribly the abuse really affected her. She's not necessarily incomprehensible, she's fucking traumatised, and she's built a narrative around the abuse that she can accept so she can cope with the scale of it.

Special shoutout to Ruby the therapist, doing the hard yards trying to dig Vanessa out of the emotional hellscape she was buried in, and attempting to get her to understand what she experienced. Saving lives out there.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Emotional abuse, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Alcoholism, Drug use, Gaslighting, Addiction, Drug abuse, and Alcohol

Minor: Suicide

nina_mk's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Misogyny, Sexual harassment, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Rape, Animal death, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Death, Grief, Sexual assault, and Suicidal thoughts

Moderate: Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Alcohol, Drug abuse, Drug use, Body shaming, Addiction, Gaslighting, Terminal illness, Alcoholism, and Chronic illness

Minor: Classism, Fatphobia, Stalking, Eating disorder, Bullying, and Lesbophobia

ruby_24's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual harassment, Rape, Suicide, Violence, Grief, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Physical abuse, Pedophilia, Emotional abuse, Death, Alcoholism, Adult/minor relationship, and Addiction

hiraeth_'s review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Addiction, Emotional abuse, Sexual violence, Drug use, Sexual harassment, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Gaslighting, and Adult/minor relationship

Moderate: Alcoholism and Alcohol

Minor: Bullying, Death of parent, Grief, Toxic relationship, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Suicide attempt, Infidelity, and Animal death

_david_'s review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

The book tells its story in such a beautiful way. It's about a adult-minor relationship from the point of view of the minor (now grown up). The characters all feel like real people.

 I've never before found such a good story which shows why to the grooming victim, it doesn't seem like an unbalanced relationship any more than if they were both adult. As an adult it is very easy to understand why grooming is disgusting, but this book uses its point of view to show how teenagers may experience it. More importantly, how careful you need to be with talking to a victim. 

I really am thankful how the author made the sex scenes feel off, eventhough it wasn't necessary for the story itself. I would feel disgusted if instead I would read about a teenager having sex with an adult and enjoying it fully.

I could talk about this book for days, it's just so good. My only confusion at first was why the narrator didn't realise that the groomer was being manipulative, eventhough flashbacks revealed that she already had doubts in the moments themselves. However, this was explained by two moments. The first

was when she realised she never put it all in a neat chronological order, but only remembered snippets at a time

and even more strong, the moment she voiced the concern which is my favourite quote from the book:

"If it isn't a love story, then what is it?"

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, and Animal death

Moderate: Alcohol, Addiction, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Vomit, and Pedophilia

Minor: Death of parent, Stalking, Drug use, Grief, Toxic friendship, Gun violence, Kidnapping, Medical content, and Suicidal thoughts

Very graphic descriptions of physical child abuse are mentioned in the last few pages, around p. 351 in the text starting from "Bridget moves back to Rhode Island". You can skip to the next alinea (2 pages further) without missing anything.

bynniereads's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Vomit, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Addiction, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual harassment, Physical abuse, Alcohol, Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Kidnapping, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Sexism, Trafficking, Self harm, Sexual violence, Stalking, and Toxic relationship