Reviews tagging 'Medical content'

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

32 reviews

junebugreads's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

The book was heavy starting out but it truly didn't hit me until the very end.

It's when she finally gets the dog and begins healing that you realise the amount of trauma she's been through because it's so much more lighter than the flashbacks, especially the ones from her college years.

It's awful knowing that Vanessa's story isn't purely fictional, that it's the truth for so many women out there. I just hope they also can start to heal.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Child abuse, Cursing, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Medical content, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Sexual content, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Rape, and Toxic relationship

seawarrior's review against another edition

dark emotional informative reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

My Dark Vanessa illustrates a relentless and necessary portrait of a grooming survivor who remains tangled in the web of lies her groomer presented as love, even as she grows into an adult. This book is a bared-teeth, growling response to the lush literary canon that mythologizes young girls, asserting that they have a corruptible power over the adult men who do not see them as anything more than an imprintable sexual fantasy. It was difficult to read this book, and has been even more difficult not to continue pouring over it in my head once I finished it. 

Russell's use of language, symbols and respected literary texts is purposeful and horrifying. With each violation made by her teacher I felt genuine fear for Vanessa, yet still understood why she ignored her own worries to please this man who made her feel singled out and special. The complexities of grooming are on full display in this story. Vanessa's abuser's words are strategic and intentional, and Russell ensures that we understand the weight of them on Vanessa's life each time. I appreciated that Vanessa was not a hero. She is a woman whose development as a girl was interrupted by a predator, who is slowly learning to remove the veil of "love story" to understand her predation as it truly happened. She is also a deeply flawed person who is denying herself the growth necessary to build healthier relationships with herself and others. She is vengeful, yet turns her anger to those undeserving while repeatedly acquitting her groomer. She understands she was violated, yet tells herself she wanted this, she is being loved, she is nothing like a true victim, in order to spare herself the pain of admitting her hurt. Her story does not end with a rushed exacting of revenge that would feel insultingly unrealistic. Instead, we leave Vanessa as she is slowly learning to forgive herself and those who tried to help her, and start a life that her predator will never see, never touch and never know. 

I would recommend this book only to those prepared to read graphic depictions of underage sexual exploitation. Russell writes these passages for us to simultaneously understand how Vanessa is being taken advantage of and why she feels that she isn't, why she feels responsibility for what a much older man has primed her to tolerate. These scenes are written with a thick disgust instead of titillation, but I understand that they may still be too disturbing for people to expose themselves to. 

In conclusion, this is the only novel I've read where I felt genuine, raw grief for the protagonist to the extent that it was difficult to remind myself that her story was fiction. Yet while Vanessa is fictional, there are too many girls in this world who share her story, or who were at risk to be similarly preyed on as they formed their teenage identities around romanticized depictions of underage sexual exploitation. Russel states in her acknowledgements that she thanks "the Los I've met over the years who carry within them similar histories of abuse that looked like love, who see themselves in Dolores Haze. This book was written for nobody but you". Her story has been needed for so long, by so many people, so they may recognize the carnivorous horror of grooming for what it truly is. This is a sickening but triumphant book to experience. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Stalking and Animal death

Minor: Injury/Injury detail, Bullying, Death of parent, Fatphobia, Grief, and Medical content

kia_y_k's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, and Sexual content

Moderate: Sexism, Gaslighting, Death of parent, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Cursing, Sexual content, Misogyny, Grief, Emotional abuse, Alcohol, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, and Sexual harassment

Minor: Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Sexual content, Death of parent, Cursing, Alcoholism, Medical content, Misogyny, Toxic relationship, Pedophilia, Mental illness, Sexism, Sexual harassment, Toxic friendship, Vomit, Sexual assault, Rape, Panic attacks/disorders, Grief, Gaslighting, Drug use, and Child abuse

ayearinbookswithzoe's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I wrote so much in this book. My copy is covered in underlines and notes. I think I really needed to read this book. My experience is different from Vanessa’s but I think there is some value, some closure in reading a book from the perspective of the survivor, especially one who keeps her agency. This book looks at the complexity of coming to terms with an abusive relationship. It tackles the self blame, the negligence of others, and the manipulation of the abuser. It also demonstrates how easy it is to be stuck with the person who hurts you. This book is definitely not for everyone, the descriptions are traumatic and horrific at times. I advise people to be aware before reading. However, I’m glad I took the time to read this book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Alcohol, Classism, Death, Death of parent, Drug use, Grief, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, and Addiction

Minor: Vomit and Animal death

grace17's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, Rape, Gaslighting, Emotional abuse, Sexual harassment, Child abuse, Sexual content, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Alcoholism, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, and Suicide attempt

Minor: Medical content

kaiulanilee's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? N/A
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Child abuse, Cursing, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Death of parent, Grief, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Stalking, Suicide, Toxic friendship, and Vomit

amelreads's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pedophilia, Child abuse, Sexual violence, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Alcoholism, Alcohol, Toxic relationship, Toxic friendship, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Addiction, Animal death, Gaslighting, Death, Mental illness, and Misogyny

Moderate: Abandonment, Stalking, Self harm, Animal cruelty, Fire/Fire injury, Death of parent, Blood, and Medical content

Minor: Infertility and Excrement

ingacheciak's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Physical abuse, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Gaslighting, Child abuse, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Drug use, Death of parent, and Suicide

Minor: Medical content and Animal death

princessgonchar's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

This book was painfully beautiful and had me hooked from the beginning. I read this so quickly; I just never wanted to put it down. It was incredibly written and a fantastic investigation of atypical victimhood and grieving something others don't understand. 

This isn't a slight on the book, but I'm honestly so intrigued by how many reviews have called Vanessa unlikeable. I found Vanessa incredibly sympathetic and understandable. I think this book did a good job at exposing how only some reactions to abuse are accepted, and even people who read the book through Vanessa's eyes still judge her. Alas, just an observation.

The reason this isn't a 5 stars (and it's close) is because in the end I feel like something is missing. I'm not as obsessed as I would like to be, and I think that's because I was just expecting....something. And honestly, I don't think Vanessa should have had this explosive ending where a ton of things happen. I'm very pro quiet endings. But something just felt....something just felt like it was missing! I don't know what it is or what I could have wanted, but I just wish it had had something to cause my heart to feel as obsessed with this book in the end as I did for the first 75% of it.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Rape, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Grief and Physical abuse

Minor: Animal death, Death of parent, Medical content, and Suicide

strickortreat's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship

Moderate: Rape, Sexual assault, Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Suicidal thoughts

Minor: Bullying, Death of parent, and Medical content