Reviews tagging 'Stalking'

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

119 reviews

david_slack110507's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

I had to space out listening to this audiobook as it is not really something that you can easily consume given the content and topic matters that it expertly focuses on and tackles. The book follows the relationship between 15-year-old student Vanessa and her much older English teacher Jacob Strane in 2000. The book follows their initial hidden relationship as well as how it evolves as the two get older to the point that in 2017, the second timeline, we see where the two are following multiple previous students of Strane coming out against him with allegations of sexual abuse, grooming and being inappropriate with them, against the backdrop of the MeToo movement. The topics that the book deals with are very heavy and can be quite triggering to some but it's never done in an exploitative way or without care. 

Vanessa is such an interesting character because she goes against the typical depiction of a victim being that she is not squeaky clean or 'good' and aware of what has been done to her but instead she isn't an incredible person, often being quite rude to those around her as a result of what has happened to her as well as also being adamant that what she and Strane had was "love" rather than acknowledging the grooming and abuse that took place and I think portraying Vanessa this way made her avoid becoming a cliche of a character that is only defined by their trauma or what has happened to them. It really is tough to see Vanessa first be so obviously taken advantage of and manipulated, through our viewpoint, and then continue to go through life seeing the relationship as loving to the point of putting down other women with similar stories as well as the women that come out against Strane over what he did to them. I really liked how the book also tackled some questions about the treatment of victims such as them being defined by what happened to them and nothing more as well as also this expectation that they should come forward about what has happened to them as soon as they can to help the cause or the movement and I think it allows the reader to take their own stance on whether or not they agree with how victims are treated in the media and by others when their trauma is made public. 

Strane is a truly despicable character and I hated him and this hate didn't just come about because he is a groomer as that would elicit hate from me already but the way that Kate Elizabeth Russell writes him is incredibly well done as he is even more hateable due to how manipulative he is and how unapologetic he is in his actions and what he has done, even going so far as to blame Vanessa for making him fall in love with her, a teen with no actual power (even lacking the power to consent at times during the book), as if it isn't his own fault. The continued hold he had over Vanessa to the point that she even wanted to try and replicate what their relationship was like with her professor later on in her life shows just how much he messed her up and I'm so glad that the book didn't try and be sympathetic to him because he doesn't deserve any. The book allows him to be complex such as him being emotional and open to Vanessa almost like a normal relationship as well as being aware of what he is doing without ever portraying him as someone who is good but has just done a bad thing. The resolution to his character and the investigation into his allegations being unresolved was very fitting for how many victims don't end up getting any resolution or any justice even with Strane's suicide in the face of these allegations, there lacks a feeling of comeuppance over what he has done. 

I really liked the topics and themes that this book deals with and with listening to this as an audiobook, Grace Gummer did an excellent job at bringing to life Vanessa as well as all the other characters and I didn't have any faults with her performances or really the book as a whole other than it sort of being a book you can only read once due to how heavy and disturbing it can be and the lack of a big revelation may disappoint some people but it feels true to life. I found myself researching more into the process that Russell wrote this book including responses to the backlash/polarising opinions that have come about due to its publication as well as the additional chapter in the audiobook featuring an interview between Russell and Gummer as well as the book's editor about the book and I found them all really interesting. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Cursing, Gaslighting, Rape, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Sexual violence, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Grief, and Emotional abuse

Moderate: Addiction, Medical content, Mental illness, Toxic friendship, Drug use, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Violence, Alcohol, Death, Suicide, Alcoholism, and Stalking

Minor: Animal death, Animal cruelty, and Infertility

georgiahb's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Stalking, Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Suicide, Sexual assault, and Grief

behindherpages's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Pedophilia, Gaslighting, Toxic relationship, Sexual harassment, Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Sexual assault, and Rape

Moderate: Suicide, Stalking, Alcoholism, and Physical abuse

Minor: Bullying, Death, and Body shaming

errie's review against another edition

dark emotional

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual harassment, Stalking, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Sexual content, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Drug use, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicide, Alcohol, Pedophilia, and Toxic relationship

nina_mk's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Mental illness, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Misogyny, Sexual harassment, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Rape, Animal death, Sexual violence, Sexual content, Adult/minor relationship, Death, Grief, Sexual assault, and Suicidal thoughts

Moderate: Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Alcohol, Drug abuse, Drug use, Body shaming, Addiction, Gaslighting, Terminal illness, Alcoholism, and Chronic illness

Minor: Classism, Fatphobia, Stalking, Eating disorder, Bullying, and Lesbophobia

sedgewren's review against another edition

challenging dark slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Only a truly masterfully written book could make me want to slap and shake the characters so hard to wake them out of their self-delusions, and yet still want to read it to the end. Russell managed to capture what it felt like to be 15 and sexualised, wanting love but not sure what that looks like, thinking you know it all and able to power through more than you can actually handle. It made me understand all the points of failure in a system, try and think what I would have done differently if I were Vanessa's friend, another teacher, or her parent.

I think it was painfully obvious the amount of self-delusion, romanticisation, and naivety that led to Vanessa's mis-interpretation of events, but I'm so glad that her therapist is able to pin them down and communicate with her to get her to see these events as what they really are; I also understand that Vanessa is only able to accept these truths when she is ready (she's been groomed and manipulated so long that she ends up manipulating herself so that she doesn't have to think too hard about anything that doesn't line up with her love story narrative).

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Child abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, and Rape

Moderate: Death of parent, Drug abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Stalking, Toxic relationship, and Classism

_david_'s review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

The book tells its story in such a beautiful way. It's about a adult-minor relationship from the point of view of the minor (now grown up). The characters all feel like real people.

 I've never before found such a good story which shows why to the grooming victim, it doesn't seem like an unbalanced relationship any more than if they were both adult. As an adult it is very easy to understand why grooming is disgusting, but this book uses its point of view to show how teenagers may experience it. More importantly, how careful you need to be with talking to a victim. 

I really am thankful how the author made the sex scenes feel off, eventhough it wasn't necessary for the story itself. I would feel disgusted if instead I would read about a teenager having sex with an adult and enjoying it fully.

I could talk about this book for days, it's just so good. My only confusion at first was why the narrator didn't realise that the groomer was being manipulative, eventhough flashbacks revealed that she already had doubts in the moments themselves. However, this was explained by two moments. The first

was when she realised she never put it all in a neat chronological order, but only remembered snippets at a time

and even more strong, the moment she voiced the concern which is my favourite quote from the book:

"If it isn't a love story, then what is it?"

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, and Animal death

Moderate: Alcohol, Addiction, Toxic relationship, Alcoholism, Vomit, and Pedophilia

Minor: Death of parent, Stalking, Drug use, Grief, Toxic friendship, Gun violence, Kidnapping, Medical content, and Suicidal thoughts

Very graphic descriptions of physical child abuse are mentioned in the last few pages, around p. 351 in the text starting from "Bridget moves back to Rhode Island". You can skip to the next alinea (2 pages further) without missing anything.

bynniereads's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Vomit, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Addiction, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual harassment, Physical abuse, Alcohol, Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Kidnapping, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Sexism, Trafficking, Self harm, Sexual violence, Stalking, and Toxic relationship

eliseilou's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Torn between 3 and 4 stars as I liked the book but thought it started to drag a little after the 50% mark. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Pedophilia, Alcoholism, Adult/minor relationship, Suicide, Rape, Child abuse, Death, Mental illness, Sexual harassment, Drug use, Toxic relationship, Slavery, and Stalking

Minor: Death of parent

nineinchnails's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

i feel weird reviewing and even rating this book considering the subject matter because even though it's technically fiction it feels horribly invasive, like reading someone's diary. it is very well written with beautiful prose and a protagonist who is extremely real and raw. the book did run a little long, especially considering there was little character development outside of vanessa but overall it was an extremely gripping read.

i would not recommend reading this as a survivor of rape and especially of child sexual abuse, more because of how adamant vanessa is that she was not abused than how graphic the abuse is written. it can be very hard to stomach her constant romanticisation and denial of strane's abuse, despite how obvious it us to us as readers that he manipulated her. 'manipulate' does not feel like anywhere near as strong of a word to portray how he controlled and exploited her.

vanessa is not a 'perfect victim' and she struggles with this well into adulthood; the idea that a woman must be perfectly chaste, perfectly humble, perfectly innocent, and perfectly untouched by the world to be believed or taken seriously as a victim is one that permeates our society to this day. what was she wearing?, she lead him on, she was asking for it, she wanted it. this novel does an incredible job at giving a voice to the many survivors who (unsurprisingly) don't fit that mould and showing a different perspective. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Rape, Adult/minor relationship, Panic attacks/disorders, Gaslighting, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Physical abuse, Death, Animal cruelty, Death of parent, Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug use, Infidelity, Stalking, Suicidal thoughts, Bullying, Sexual harassment, Classism, Drug abuse, Grief, Body horror, and Abandonment

Minor: Animal death, Body shaming, Mass/school shootings, and Vomit

Grooming, Dissociation, Post traumatic stress disorder, Child sexual abuse, and Student/teacher relationship