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dark
emotional
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Plot
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Manly okayish and repetitive smut (as expected) and not much happening. The kinks were a little too weird for me. He is just abusive and she cannot stand up for herself. She literally screams: „I am not like other girls and I am naïve as fuck, so pls fuck me until I cry. Still, I liked the books more than the movies, which I watched a while ago.
PS: I NEVER WANT TO HEAR AN „OH GOD“ OR „HOLY -WHATEVER-„ FROM HER AGAIN.
PPS: thank you for the book Paula <3
PPPS: despite my hate, I am currently 200 pages into the second book. Apparently everything about him can get worse (the kink and the gaslighting and manipulation).
PS: I NEVER WANT TO HEAR AN „OH GOD“ OR „HOLY -WHATEVER-„ FROM HER AGAIN.
PPS: thank you for the book Paula <3
PPPS: despite my hate, I am currently 200 pages into the second book. Apparently everything about him can get worse (the kink and the gaslighting and manipulation).
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Gaslighting, Alcohol
Moderate: Death of parent
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse
dark
emotional
funny
tense
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Complicated
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Emotional abuse, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship
dark
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
I will be very blunt.
I read this when I was 15 (too young, I know), and even at the time I could not believe that a grown adult wrote this. It reads like a bad fanfic written by a teen.
I am not even going to get into this abusive relationship depicted as romantic, and somehow desirable. Shameful.
I read this when I was 15 (too young, I know), and even at the time I could not believe that a grown adult wrote this. It reads like a bad fanfic written by a teen.
I am not even going to get into this abusive relationship depicted as romantic, and somehow desirable. Shameful.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Kidnapping, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
N/A
Okay. I hate myself for giving this more than one star but there’s a reason it’s a best seller. The spicy scenes do make you feel something. It just makes me upset because there are so many other GOOD books that include spicier or just better writing in terms of that where it doesn’t advertise toxic relationships as incredibly romantic and something you want in a man. Stop romanticizing fictional, toxic men that cut you off from your family and friends!!!!!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship
dark
relaxing
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Complicated
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Sexual content
dark
fast-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Torture, Toxic relationship, Stalking
Minor: Pedophilia
dark
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
A mix
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
After *years* of being told that I couldn't discuss how this book normalizes abuse and is a bad example of BDSM practices, I finally read it. And it's somehow worse than I imaged.
First things first: Grey is an abuser. He's a bit of a gaslighter as well, but first and foremost, he is an abuser. He gives the BDSM community a bad name, using "but I'm a Dom" to excuse his stalking, controlling, and abusing of women. One of the many examples is that contract, which does nothing but give him an excuse for controlling and abusing her (I can hear it now: "you signed the contract, Anastasia, you're mine for good."). She's very leery of the contract, and sends back her changes, most of which he rejects or otherwise indicates are part and parcel of getting into a relationship with him.
He shows her his "playroom" without discussion it with her. Just sort of whip out his whips. When she indicates that she doesn't know very much (anything) about it, he tells her to do some research and sends her off. It's very one-sided, and he seems unwilling to accept any concessions from her, even when she says something is hard or soft no. A hard no is not negotiable.
Within the book, it is very clear that she's not interested in and doesn’t actually want to do this (both the D/s aspects and the B&D aspects), but Grey makers she feels that she has no choice but to accept the contract and the minor concessions he’s made to it. This comes up again and again with aspects of play that she's leery about or uninterested in - such as gagging - but he pushes the topic again and again, attempting to get her to change her mind.
Aftercare. Aftercare is an important part of any BDSM relationship, and is sometimes considered the most important part of the scene. There is next to no aftercare in the book, and as she doesn't know that it's supposed to be, it never comes up.
Grey admits that he likes hitting women, that he likes hurting women. She doesn't take him seriously, and believes that he won't hurt her. This is very apparent in his play practices. I'm not going to get into why they are so bad, but they are incredibly unsafe, and very likely to hurt the submissive partner. As in, "send the submissive partner to the hospital" hurt if the Dom is experienced, and "send the submissive partner to the morgue" if the Dom is inexperienced.
Grey stalks her, something she mentions regularly, but she somehow never realizes that it's a bad thing. She even calls him a stalker, but it's somehow not important that he's stalking her.
Grey attempts to isolate her from her friends, which is a hallmark of abuse. It makes the victim dependent on the abuser, and keeps the family and friends from figuring out the abuse. His first attempts at isolation are passed off as jealousy, and he uses that jealousy as an excuse to get extra Dommy on her. He gets mad at her when she mentions that she was thinking about visiting her mother, because she hadn't discussed that with him. It's as if he was trying to police her thoughts, as well as her actions. He doesn't like that she interviewed from jobs that weren't at his company, because he wanted her under him thumb, dependent on him for everything, including financially (which is another hallmark of abuse).
When we get Grey's backstory, we learn that he was groomed and abused by a pedophile. A pedophile who is now one of his closest friends. A close family friend took advantage to groom and abuse him.
This book excuses and romanticizes abuse. It plays into dangerous stereotypes about BDSM, and badly misrepresents the community.
First things first: Grey is an abuser. He's a bit of a gaslighter as well, but first and foremost, he is an abuser. He gives the BDSM community a bad name, using "but I'm a Dom" to excuse his stalking, controlling, and abusing of women. One of the many examples is that contract, which does nothing but give him an excuse for controlling and abusing her (I can hear it now: "you signed the contract, Anastasia, you're mine for good."). She's very leery of the contract, and sends back her changes, most of which he rejects or otherwise indicates are part and parcel of getting into a relationship with him.
He shows her his "playroom" without discussion it with her. Just sort of whip out his whips. When she indicates that she doesn't know very much (anything) about it, he tells her to do some research and sends her off. It's very one-sided, and he seems unwilling to accept any concessions from her, even when she says something is hard or soft no. A hard no is not negotiable.
Within the book, it is very clear that she's not interested in and doesn’t actually want to do this (both the D/s aspects and the B&D aspects), but Grey makers she feels that she has no choice but to accept the contract and the minor concessions he’s made to it. This comes up again and again with aspects of play that she's leery about or uninterested in - such as gagging - but he pushes the topic again and again, attempting to get her to change her mind.
Aftercare. Aftercare is an important part of any BDSM relationship, and is sometimes considered the most important part of the scene. There is next to no aftercare in the book, and as she doesn't know that it's supposed to be, it never comes up.
Grey admits that he likes hitting women, that he likes hurting women. She doesn't take him seriously, and believes that he won't hurt her. This is very apparent in his play practices. I'm not going to get into why they are so bad, but they are incredibly unsafe, and very likely to hurt the submissive partner. As in, "send the submissive partner to the hospital" hurt if the Dom is experienced, and "send the submissive partner to the morgue" if the Dom is inexperienced.
Grey stalks her, something she mentions regularly, but she somehow never realizes that it's a bad thing. She even calls him a stalker, but it's somehow not important that he's stalking her.
Grey attempts to isolate her from her friends, which is a hallmark of abuse. It makes the victim dependent on the abuser, and keeps the family and friends from figuring out the abuse. His first attempts at isolation are passed off as jealousy, and he uses that jealousy as an excuse to get extra Dommy on her. He gets mad at her when she mentions that she was thinking about visiting her mother, because she hadn't discussed that with him. It's as if he was trying to police her thoughts, as well as her actions. He doesn't like that she interviewed from jobs that weren't at his company, because he wanted her under him thumb, dependent on him for everything, including financially (which is another hallmark of abuse).
When we get Grey's backstory, we learn that he was groomed and abused by a pedophile. A pedophile who is now one of his closest friends. A close family friend took advantage to groom and abuse him.
This book excuses and romanticizes abuse. It plays into dangerous stereotypes about BDSM, and badly misrepresents the community.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Bullying, Child abuse, Confinement, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Violence, Stalking, Sexual harassment
dark
emotional
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
No
Diverse cast of characters:
No
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Complicated
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship