Reviews tagging 'Ableism'

Et Lille Liv by Hanya Yanagihara

1209 reviews

xaqrii's review against another edition

dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Alcohol, Sexual violence, Gore, Grief, Mental illness, Suicide attempt, Body shaming, Physical abuse, Torture, Toxic relationship, Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Eating disorder, Kidnapping, Medical content, Rape, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Confinement, Drug abuse, Child death, Emotional abuse, Terminal illness, Blood, Medical trauma, Pedophilia, Death, Forced institutionalization, Suicide, Child abuse, Violence, Self harm, Chronic illness, Drug use, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit

juliabristow's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

Several months ago I was talking to a friend and I mentioned that I had gotten this book and immediately she just said "oh, the trauma porn book." In my head I was very dismissive, thinking I was pretty sure she hadn't even read the book and was just being annoying. But now that I've read it,,,, yeah 😭

The book starts out really strong if you enjoy contemporary fiction, but the more and more you dig in to Jude's backstory the more just unnecessary it feels. I actually have nothing against depicting really dark and traumatic experiences in books, but I feel very strongly that if you're going to do it it has to serve a purpose, and in this instance I just don't really think it did. I think you could argue that ONE of Jude's childhood traumas would be constructive to the story, explain his refusal to open up to people, and give the reader enough sympathy towards him. But after time and time again of learning something awful that happened to him, it stops being useful to the narrative and only exhausts the reader. [spoiler ahead] I genuinely laughed when Willem died because I had become numb to feeling bad for Jude and the amount of shock-value trauma was almost comical. Maybe that makes me a bad person but I don't care!!

Not only does the trauma get old, I also really stopped being able to sympathize with Jude once I got about 3/4 of the way through the book. I know him refusing therapy is a common point throughout the book, but jesus CHRIST go to therapy. I genuinely just can't feel bad for someone who isn't even trying. Refusing to go to therapy, forcing himself to have sex with Willem, apologizing to people for being sick, it honestly just becomes insufferable after 700 pages of it. And again, it serves NO purpose. Things would be different if the book was about his journey to recovery and overcoming the trauma, but instead the author just slaps some improvement at the end before finally having Jude kill himself anyway - there's absolutely no message or anything to take away besides "wow, that guy's life sucked." And again, maybe that makes me a bad person, but I think the real answer is that my friend was right and the book is just trauma porn.

Most people will say that this book is emotionally devastating and will make you cry, and that is true! But I only cried at the happy moments, which are few and far between, and the sad parts would be much more impactful if there was an actual point to them, like I've said several times already.

Anyway, at the end of the day I don't think this is actually a BAD book, just an unnecessary one that spreads potentially harmful messages and would probably cause someone with similar experiences to go off the deep end themselves. In the acknowledgments at the end the author has a list of people she consulted for medical, legal, and artistic advice, and the fact that there isn't a mental health expert in that list feels like a sign

Rant over, 3 stars

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Self harm, Pedophilia, Rape, Ableism, Eating disorder, Medical content, Chronic illness, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual violence, Trafficking, Violence, Child abuse, Sexual assault, Medical trauma, Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, and Suicide attempt

Moderate: Forced institutionalization, Blood, Body shaming, Religious bigotry, Death, and Grief

Minor: Vomit

lqne's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death of parent, Child death, Eating disorder, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Blood, Body shaming, Grief, Death, Dementia, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Stalking, Torture, Chronic illness, Child abuse, Injury/Injury detail, Kidnapping, Medical content, Pedophilia, Ableism, Car accident, Domestic abuse, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Mental illness, Forced institutionalization, Physical abuse, Rape, Suicide, Adult/minor relationship, Addiction, Alcohol, Bullying, Drug abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, Suicide attempt, Terminal illness, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Violence, and Trafficking

mari_lit's review against another edition

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Domestic abuse, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Gore, Ableism, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Kidnapping, Blood, Medical content, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Body shaming, Death, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Suicide

Moderate: Drug abuse and Drug use

Minor: Death of parent

privatecaboose's review against another edition

dark emotional slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Toxic relationship, Forced institutionalization, Sexual assault, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Kidnapping, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide attempt, Grief, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Sexual violence, Self harm, Trafficking, Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Violence, Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Physical abuse, and Rape

canisand's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Drug use, Pedophilia, Religious bigotry, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Torture, Toxic friendship, Addiction, Cursing, Death, Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Abandonment, Ableism, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Eating disorder, Forced institutionalization, Gaslighting, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Sexual violence, Trafficking, Terminal illness, Domestic abuse, Death of parent, Hate crime, Homophobia, Body horror, Bullying, Kidnapping, Fire/Fire injury, Medical content, Mental illness, Racism, Sexual assault, Child abuse, Suicide attempt, Xenophobia, Emotional abuse, Medical trauma, Outing, Self harm, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Body shaming, Chronic illness, Confinement, Suicidal thoughts, Car accident, Physical abuse, Rape, Suicide, and Violence

documentno_is's review against another edition

dark sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

A long and winding saga about tragedy, disability, love, and friendship. I went into this novel knowing people found it depressing and sort of pointless and I can agree and disagree with that assessment. 

Pros: 
-The characters were deep, particularly Harold, Jude, Willem, ans JB were written with complexity and nuance. 
-A stark and harrowing realness established the tone; I didn’t find this novel gratuitously sad just as difficult to sit with as much of the subject matter it dealt with.
- The chapters on Jude and Willem dealing with

the complex nature of their ability share intimacy were my favorite chapters, the author painstakingly built our understanding of both of their motivations and drive which made me sympathetic to their difficulty in finding closeness that was suitable for each other.

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I found Harold and Jude’s relationship particularly special, finding a new way to be a father after losing his son while never conflating the two of them was beautiful

Cons: 
- there was a general pessimism, and almost ridiculous amount of tragedy the author threw at these characters it felt almost gratuitous at times, in the content warning sections the bottom I realized it contained graphic descriptions of almost every kind.
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Where the fuck was Malcolm for like 85% of this book? Removed in editing after setting him up to be such an interesting character was almost a disservice to the reader.

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I was really hoping for somewhat of a JB redemption arc but he really stayed the villain until the end, especially after Malcolm and Willem died I was hoping he would step up but instead we got the kiss, regardless I was interested in his addiction story.

- I hated that the mystery of Jude’s tragedy was being used as a narrative device / the entire “ what happened to him” angle too closely mimicked the overly comfortable way in which society invades disabled people’s autonomy and almost counteracted the authors purpose/theme because a lot of what made Jude’s life so unbearable was people’s inability to give him agency and decision in his own life.

Ultimately an often poignant and sometimes overly long tale of friends navigating the difficulties of life. I recommend, with heavy SA trigger warnings.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Physical abuse, Torture, Vomit, Addiction, Domestic abuse, Car accident, Eating disorder, Suicide, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Ableism, Death, Drug use, Pedophilia, Sexual content, Self harm, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, and Toxic relationship

ajp136's review against another edition

emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Mental illness, Addiction, Ableism, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Chronic illness, Blood, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, and Grief

aaliyah_lomas15's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

I was captivated in the first quarter of the book. It was beautifully written, I was interested in the characters who felt real, and enjoyed the exploration of their friendship, their own feelings and backgrounds. However, it becomes a novel that is entirely focused on Jude, and Willem to some extent. Malcolm and JB are basically there in the rest of the book to advance the plot in some way. I think the author didn't know how to continue with their lives and therefore essentially removed them from Jude's life in one way or another. 

Jude's backstory is tragic. As a result, he is deeply traumatised. I understand the effects of trauma, but what he does is so repetitive. I understand that's the point, the exploration of the cycle of abuse and how it affects him, but the author doesn't add anything new or nuanced to the conversation. It seems like they didn't research the effects of abuse on real life survivors, so they just kept repeating the same ones. 

I know this is a fictional novel, but the characters are unbelievable. Unlike others I do not perceive the extent of Jude's abuse as unbelievable, but I do view all of his talents and accomplishments as such. The main four friend group consists of people that are all incredibly successful in their careers and life in general. The only person who really fucks up is JB, but we barely hear from him afterwards which is such a shame as I think his story is personally the most interesting. JB is the only character in this novel who isn't explicitly good or bad. The author writes characters who are black or white (not racially), good or bad. There is no grey area for their characters. The only one who falls into that category is JB, and we don't get to explore his life more. We don't get to explore his feelings on being expelled from his friendship group. After the 200 page mark we only really see JB randomly, usually to advance the plot in terms of aggravating Jude and Willem, to point out how 'shallow' he is with his 'unserious' problems compared to what Jude has faced. 

Sure, Jude's childhood is hellish and he's working to deal with it throughout the book. But in his adult life he is surrounded by people who love him (and slightly enable him). All his friends love him; he's incredibly skilled in mathematics, baking, playing piano, etc; he gets a very well paying job in which he is completely idolised; he has a relationship with the perfect person; he is adopted by loving parents at the age of 30. My point is that despite his childhood, nothing goes wrong for him in adulthood (until the last 100 pages). His adult life is so unbelievable. Jude is focused on for basically the entire book, yet I don't think his character is truly explored. What he does is incredibly repetitive, and it's very boring as a reader. This book could easily have been edited down, probably even 200 pages down, and I think it would be more impactful. There are plenty of novels that have truly impacted me far more than this one has. Yes, it's traumatic and sad, but it could be so much more. The writing is beautiful; the characters could be so more nuanced and interesting; friendship could be properly explored (like the blurb promises). 

TLDR: This book has a lot of potential. The beginning is well written and fascinating, but it's too drawn out and repetitive. The first half and second half of the book feels completely disconnected from each other. It feels like the author decided to change their focus, and the novel truly suffers as a result. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Eating disorder, Medical content, Suicidal thoughts, Self harm, Injury/Injury detail, Sexual assault, Suicide attempt, Suicide, Child abuse, Rape, Death, Car accident, Adult/minor relationship, and Pedophilia

Moderate: Toxic relationship, Chronic illness, Forced institutionalization, Emotional abuse, Body shaming, Blood, Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Grief, Hate crime, Drug use, and Mental illness

Minor: Addiction, Fire/Fire injury, Vomit, Torture, and Abandonment

zyaise's review against another edition

dark emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I’ve seen mostly positive reviews so I thought it was worth it to give my two cents. The book is beautifully written, I thought the beginning was promising, but it got more dull as it went on, it seems as if the author wanted to fit as much trauma as possible, and while I do understand and know that this is the reality of some people, I feel like it falls flat, the trauma takes the main role over the actual characters, I guess that’s why I didn’t really connect with most of the characters. 

And here’s the thing, I think the plot twist was lazy, making Willem die first instead of Jude seems like such an overdone plot twist, making the healthy person die because it can happen to any of us, I get it, but I’ve seen it already in so many books and movies and shows that it has lost its impact, I would be more surprised at this point if the set up was predictable. And while Jude dies in the end, that also fell flat for me, it felt forced at that point.

Also, the triggers list is very very long and you should check it out before picking up this book, personally I don’t recommend it, I didn’t cry (mostly because I didn’t connect with the characters) and I didn’t enjoy it, even though it’s beautifully written and it’s certainly the portrayal of life, I just wish it would’ve been… more. I would’ve also loved it if the whole book was from Harold’s POV, I found his chapters to be the most touching, engaging and emotional. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Drug abuse, Medical trauma, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Chronic illness, Body shaming, Sexual violence, Suicide attempt, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Fire/Fire injury, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Violence, Car accident, Mental illness, Ableism, Addiction, Bullying, Child abuse, Death, Kidnapping, Medical content, Emotional abuse, and Grief