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sofiarodriguez's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.75
I am not a big fan of coming out arcs, but I feel like this book utilized it well. I encapsulated what it feels like to have to hide your queerness and the desire for safety and acceptance. This book was slow-paced, but I still wholeheartedly enjoyed it because the plot never felt like it was dragging on. However, for such a slow-paced book, the ending was a bit rushed. Nathan and Ben go from being friends to having their first kiss and starting dating in the last 20 pages, and the only insight we get into their relationship is them at the beach in the epilogue. I o understand how this was intended to represent freedom in expression and overcoming fears, but I believe there could have been a much more effective way of covering that. Although I quite enjoyed this book, I do believe that there were some points at which the characters could have been explore more deeply. Both Nathan and Ben were loveable characters, but I feel like none of them truly completed their arcs. First, I wholeheartedly believe that the logical ending to Ben's arc should have been going to Prom in a polka dot dress, as they expressed love for throughout the whole book. I also think Nathan's arc as realizing he is queer was extremely underdeveloped. The only insight we get of Nathan coming to terms with his queerness is when Ben said "he suspected he was bisexual for a while now." For a book that grapples a lot with coming to terms with one's own queerness, I would have loved to see more from Nathan trying to figure himself out. Despite my critiques, I believe this was an adorable story that truly encapsulates the link between queerness and mental health, teaching readers about the process of coming to terms with themselves.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Mental illness, Transphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, and Homophobia
Minor: Domestic abuse
reading_between_the_trees's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
sad
fast-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Awesome nonbinary representation, amazing normalizing of therapy and medication, and incredible characters and plot. This book captured so many realities for nonbinary people: the fear, emotional exhaustion, and repetition of coming out, the constant pain of misgendering / the burden of having to constantly correct people, the fuzzy gender dysphoria that get's tangled up in sexual attraction and desire for intimacy, the suppression of the ways you really want to express yourself, the difficulty in navigating relationships especially with your family, the way shame and loneliness and pain can mix with mental illness to create the perfect storm, and so so many more things. Deaver explores all of these issues with such nuance, really bringing us into Benji's world and highlighting just how unique the nonbinary experience is for each person. Benji's story focuses on a great support system, art, medication, and online communities, but it also highlights other resources for LGBTQIA+ people such as support groups and LGBTQIA+ educational organizations. The entire story is full of so many golden affirmations, such as it is your decision, and you can come out to as many or few people as you want to in your own time, and if people cannot accept you for who you are, then they do not deserve your love or your mental energy. This is one of those books that not only changed my life, but just makes me happy because I am so glad it is out in the world for nonbinary people to read and see themselves in. Of course, it is not representative of THE nonbinary experience, because such a singular entity doesn't exist, but it is one of many stories that needed to be told.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Cursing and Sexual content
Misgendering occurs throughout the book.valereads's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This book was difficult for me to rate. On the one hand the technical quality of this book has me wanting to only give it a four star rating. On the other hand the way this book made me feel makes me want to give it five stars and I know I wouldn't feel that way if it wasn't for my specific life experiences but this book made me cry in a way a book hasn't for a while.
Unfortunately much of this book comes across as rather generic YA contemporary, it's filled with high school cliches and the only things that make it different from everything else in that category are Ben being non-binary and having anxiety. But maybe that's enough. If I hadn't read so much in this category before - YA contemporary and, more specifically, LGBTQ+ YA contemporary - then I wouldn't have a problem with any aspect of this. Me being a jaded 20-something whose already read Simon Vs, If I Was Your Girl and countless similar books is probably why the high school stuff bored me but if I was a non-binary teen who'd never read a book with a non-binary protagonist before I'm sure I'd love every aspect of this book, especially with everything it did really well.
Speaking of what this book did well, the way Deaver wrote about Ben's gender dysphoria and anxiety was really well done. I'm transgender (trans masculine non-binary) and have severe generalised anxiety disorder and I felt Ben's experiences with dysphoria, anxiety and panic attacks were well-described and painfully accurate.
I also really appreciated the way Deaver wrote Ben's emotionally abusive parents. Emotional abuse isn't something that gets discussed a lot in fiction and is often done inaccurately but in this case it was really effective and realistic. The way this affected Ben's relationship with their sister also really got to me. The scene where these issues were confronted was especially effective for me and had me in tears. I also appreciate that not everything was fixed between them after this confrontation, it would have been easy to have everything be better at that point but Deaver was more honest about the kind of damage this kind of thing can have on relationships.
Another of this books strengths was it's great characters and character relationships. Apart from Ben's complicated relationship with their family, Ben's relationship with Nathan is central to this story. Nathan's character was for the most part very well written and I found myself falling a little bit in love with him and wanting to get to know him better.
This book is a slightly generic young adult contemporary novel set at a North American high school. It's very readable, had likeable characters and tackles big issues like coming out as non-binary, dealing with anxiety disorders and emotional abuse very effectively. Overall I'd recommend to anyone who isn't too tired of high school books.
Content Warnings: child abuse, transphobia, homophobia, panic attacks, underage drinking, coming out
Unfortunately much of this book comes across as rather generic YA contemporary, it's filled with high school cliches and the only things that make it different from everything else in that category are Ben being non-binary and having anxiety. But maybe that's enough. If I hadn't read so much in this category before - YA contemporary and, more specifically, LGBTQ+ YA contemporary - then I wouldn't have a problem with any aspect of this. Me being a jaded 20-something whose already read Simon Vs, If I Was Your Girl and countless similar books is probably why the high school stuff bored me but if I was a non-binary teen who'd never read a book with a non-binary protagonist before I'm sure I'd love every aspect of this book, especially with everything it did really well.
Speaking of what this book did well, the way Deaver wrote about Ben's gender dysphoria and anxiety was really well done. I'm transgender (trans masculine non-binary) and have severe generalised anxiety disorder and I felt Ben's experiences with dysphoria, anxiety and panic attacks were well-described and painfully accurate.
I also really appreciated the way Deaver wrote Ben's emotionally abusive parents. Emotional abuse isn't something that gets discussed a lot in fiction and is often done inaccurately but in this case it was really effective and realistic. The way this affected Ben's relationship with their sister also really got to me. The scene where these issues were confronted was especially effective for me and had me in tears. I also appreciate that not everything was fixed between them after this confrontation, it would have been easy to have everything be better at that point but Deaver was more honest about the kind of damage this kind of thing can have on relationships.
Another of this books strengths was it's great characters and character relationships. Apart from Ben's complicated relationship with their family, Ben's relationship with Nathan is central to this story. Nathan's character was for the most part very well written and I found myself falling a little bit in love with him and wanting to get to know him better.
This book is a slightly generic young adult contemporary novel set at a North American high school. It's very readable, had likeable characters and tackles big issues like coming out as non-binary, dealing with anxiety disorders and emotional abuse very effectively. Overall I'd recommend to anyone who isn't too tired of high school books.
Content Warnings: child abuse, transphobia, homophobia, panic attacks, underage drinking, coming out
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, and Transphobia
Moderate: Child abuse and Domestic abuse
Minor: Physical abuse
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