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3.11 AVERAGE
3.11 AVERAGE
I have a feeling that many people who will read this book, or more than likely, never read this book, believe that this book is primarily about spanking your children. They would probably believe Dobson's methods or ideas are out of touch and/or just wrong. Honestly, I haven't made up my mind about spanking yet, but I do know that his book is less about spanking and more about consistent discipline that is done with love and authority, one that will hopefully provide great, healthy boundaries for your children and respect for their parents. You could probably omit the word spanking or things of that nature and still find great benefit from this book. While he seems to be dismissive of some behavioral psychologists early in the book, his methods of reward and punishment borrow heavily from their tradition. And I would say he emphasizes reward more over punishment. Some parenting books I've read give ambiguous guidance and insight into how to be a loving parent, but no real tips or tricks. This book actually provides nice charts and methods to use for chores and other things like that. Now, my main criticism of Dobson is when he turns into the old man on the front porch, railing against the way society is today. He can be very political and terminology for people and certain ideas are often cringeworthy. I could have done without his lectures on the evils of "safe sex" education in the schools or his thoughts on communism. Overall, I think we will be keeping this book around. As I said, I don't agree with everything he says, but if I can't think of any books I've read recently where I've agreed with everything they advocate.
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
dark
slow-paced
This booked fucked me up as a child, and continues to screw with my ability to be loving and nurturing to my own children as an adult. If you need fresh ideas and support for helping children learn healthy limits without physically abusing them or extinguishing their humanity, I highly recommend "How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen" by Joanna Faber and Julie King.
What an excellent book! I was raised under the principles taught in this book and am so thankful to have an updated edition to study and grow in as I begin to raise my own children. Dobson focuses in on the heart issues in raising a child and struggles that a sinful nature in both the parent and child will create. Through the appropriate use of discipline it is possible to shape your child's understanding of the world around them to give them the tools to properly honor God and their parents as they grow. I especially appreciated his discussion on the proper use of positive reinforcement as an encouragement in training your child how to behave. I know the corporal punishment is often the main focus of this book but the reinforcement is also a key part. I highly recommend this book to young parents searching for help on how to raise their children. Do not look down on the age of the book. Some principles are timeless and "Dare to Discipline" is one of them!
Finally, a book that is applicable to toddlers and teenagers! I'll admit to only having read the first 100 pages or so, and skimming the rest as it's not applicable to me yet. It's a quick and engaging read, and has lots of good ideas and advice. The guy seems balanced - he's not overly fluffy and all "oh, your baby is made of kittens and rainbows and thus sometimes when Saturn wanes purple he will get grumpy and you mustn't scold him for fear of damaging his inner chakras," and he's also not in the "beat the kid till he's permanently blue and people run away from him screaming that the aliens have landed." In short, I have finally found a book that doesn't make me disgusted or ashamed to be a parent with an unruly child - and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Blah blah blah, good book.
To be clear, I hate read this book. Also James Dobson is clearly a kinky MF masquerading as a child/adolescent expert, which is scary (this is coming from a not-super-vanilla human).
Part of it makes sense to me--Kids need and want boundaries and structure, most kids can be reasoned with unless they're clearly doing what they're doing to challenge authority in which case it's important to establish authority, kids should be taught to respect others and they should be respected as humans, and above all love is the most important thing. I was on board with all of that, for the whole 20 pages that it lasted, and that was after 40 pages of me wanting to constantly throw the book across the restaurant I was in.
And then he talks about spanking and it gets really fucking weird. Also I couldn't get myself to read any of the last chapter about sex education and morality because that was also too weird for me to handle. The section on education & classroom management was painful, the section on "obstacles to learning" was one of the dumbest things I've ever read.
Part of it makes sense to me--Kids need and want boundaries and structure, most kids can be reasoned with unless they're clearly doing what they're doing to challenge authority in which case it's important to establish authority, kids should be taught to respect others and they should be respected as humans, and above all love is the most important thing. I was on board with all of that, for the whole 20 pages that it lasted, and that was after 40 pages of me wanting to constantly throw the book across the restaurant I was in.
And then he talks about spanking and it gets really fucking weird. Also I couldn't get myself to read any of the last chapter about sex education and morality because that was also too weird for me to handle. The section on education & classroom management was painful, the section on "obstacles to learning" was one of the dumbest things I've ever read.
I agree with most of what Dr. Dobson said and would recommend this book to parents.
Rev. ed. of: Dare to discipline. 1970.\n\n\nGood tips. The first half of the book was really good. Then it seemed to wander off into IQs and slow learners, etc. So that part I didn't get as much out of
While most of what I was looking for from this book was found in only three of the chapters (and those three chapters were fantastic), the rest of the book was worth while as well.
Sometimes I feel that in an effort to show why we parents need to focus more on discipline to avoid the common pitfalls of child rearing, often Dr. Dobson's books with their bad statistics scare the poo out of me! He then follows up the stats with ways to avoid them by disciplining. But sometimes I think it's just too many scary stats! I don't want to have my head in the sand but I also don't want to parent out of the fear of what could happen!
All in all, though, I agree with 90% of Dr. Dobson's advice in the majority of his books, and I already have the next one lined up to read.
Sometimes I feel that in an effort to show why we parents need to focus more on discipline to avoid the common pitfalls of child rearing, often Dr. Dobson's books with their bad statistics scare the poo out of me! He then follows up the stats with ways to avoid them by disciplining. But sometimes I think it's just too many scary stats! I don't want to have my head in the sand but I also don't want to parent out of the fear of what could happen!
All in all, though, I agree with 90% of Dr. Dobson's advice in the majority of his books, and I already have the next one lined up to read.