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meltheissa's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
bequavious's review
4.0
An important book urging parents and people who work with children to consider that behavioral approaches (reward and punishment) have limited effectiveness to "top down" behaviors that the child has conscious control over. Many negative behaviors are "bottom up" and NOT under conscious control, but are instead adaptive responses to stress and disregulation. Punishing these behaviors only increases the stress and compounds the problem. Instead focus on relational safety, therapeutic use of self, and increasing positive experiences.
misskitty14's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
4.0
The book is very repetitive, but I think for those who are reading it little by little, this is probably helpful as it underscores the central argument: children with challenging behaviors need compassion and understanding, not judgment.
Mona Delahooke applies Stephen Porge's Polyvagal theory (the idea that early infant/childhood traumas influence social habits and behaviors) to children with challenging behaviors (e.g. neurodivergence, oppositional defiance disorder, etc.). The idea is that the habits and behaviors of these children were developed as adaptations to earlier traumas (physical, mental, emotional) and that their nervous system cannot properly gauge threats.
I read this for a class, but also personal reasons (my niece is on the spectrum) and while many critique the Polyvagal theory (especially its application to autism), I do find it to be a reasonable hypothesis. Moreover, the general suggestion that we should focus on building positive relationships with these children and making them feel safe isn't harmful (even if the theory is wrong).
Mona Delahooke applies Stephen Porge's Polyvagal theory (the idea that early infant/childhood traumas influence social habits and behaviors) to children with challenging behaviors (e.g. neurodivergence, oppositional defiance disorder, etc.). The idea is that the habits and behaviors of these children were developed as adaptations to earlier traumas (physical, mental, emotional) and that their nervous system cannot properly gauge threats.
I read this for a class, but also personal reasons (my niece is on the spectrum) and while many critique the Polyvagal theory (especially its application to autism), I do find it to be a reasonable hypothesis. Moreover, the general suggestion that we should focus on building positive relationships with these children and making them feel safe isn't harmful (even if the theory is wrong).
georgia_sara93's review
informative
medium-paced
5.0
Dr Mona Delahooke is a renowned paediatric psychologist with over 30 years experience and outlines in simple terms her work. Using neuroscience based tools Delahooke breaks down really difficult for me to understand tools into easy to use tools to use with children. Looking at different ways to work with each individual and figure out what’s beneath their independent icebergs.