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Reviews tagging 'Grief'

If You Leave Me by Crystal Hana Kim

5 reviews

sabrielsbell's review

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dark sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

This is a beautifully written book but man is it sad.  I usually don't go for literary fiction but I flew through this.  The characters are unlikable and there is no happy ending but I couldn't put it down.

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jayisreading's review

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emotional sad medium-paced

3.0

I wasn’t sure what I wanted from this book, but it didn’t really work for me. I wanted to enjoy this book, especially because I was interested in the period this book took place (1950s to 1960s Korea), a tumultuous and transitory time that doesn’t seem to receive as much attention in fiction about Korea. However, I’m not very invested in drama and love triangles, and this book had plenty of drama with its somewhat intense love triangle at the front and center. In some ways, If You Leave Me felt like a book form of a Korean drama.

I think my greatest concern was the incredibly ableist thinking that existed throughout this novel. One reason for this could be that this is reflecting the dominant beliefs about trauma and disability during this time period (which, unfortunately, is still present to this day). However, I think this could be addressed while still empowering and giving agency to the disabled characters in this book (and there are a few!). Most (if not all) of them were just treated as weak or at fault for being disabled. While it wasn’t anything super egregious, the off-handed comments, internalized ableist thoughts, etc. all add up.

I think I do have more thoughts, but these were my main takeaways from the novel.

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hilaryreadsbooks's review

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3.0

(cw: ableist language)

I knew I had to pick up Crystal Hana Kim’s IF YOU LEAVE ME after hearing Joseph Han mention its importance in modern Korean American literature. After the northern invasion, sixteen-year-old Haemi Lee chooses stable, wealthier Jisoo over the boy she loves. But she is unable to forget her regrets, even as she becomes a wife and a mother. We are drawn into the torment of self-sacrifice in the face of Korea’s civil war—as well as the undue burden that usually falls on mothers, daughters, and sisters. Haemi is left behind: by men, by love, by her children, by her family, and soon, by her own mind.

If you leave me. The book’s title can be read as a threat or a plea or even an open question. But never is it a demand—and how can it ever be, when it is uttered from the voice of women, who are punished in this book for being direct, for being “seductresses,” for being “loose”? We are reminded that love can never be just love. We are reminded that the indescribable and sometimes unforgivable things mothers and fathers do have a root in something we sometimes do not understand.

However, it was hard to ignore the undercurrent of ableism woven into the book’s plot. Never quite the focus, disability and its perception of being “unwhole” and “weak” still plays a crucial part in many of Kim’s characterizations. While it may have been a depiction of the times or of a culture I do not necessarily understand (i.e. perception of male ablebodiedness as being able to fight in the war), I wished that this ableism had been addressed more than it had, especially since three of our main characters could be identified as disabled (one an amputee, one living with chronic tuberculosis, and one mentally ill).

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internationalreads's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5


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kcelena's review

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dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75


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