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bettinavanruiswijk's review against another edition
5.0
If it hits close to home, its a very helpful book to discover what's happening, why, and where to start.
alexiswett18's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
5.0
perspluto's review against another edition
Not evidence-based enough, uses psudo-scientific terms and explanations.
dreiac's review against another edition
5.0
An extremely important book on Complex PTSD. Took my sweet ass time with this one, mostly due to processing some key points very close to home. Definitely a book to keep in the bookshelf to revisit.
mxunsmiley's review against another edition
5.0
Amazing book. I had been reading it sporadically for over a week and probably would have continued that way were it not for another recommendation. It can be upsetting at first and in various other places because it naturally hits too close to home, but it may begin to disentangle you from the denial you may feel about your childhood and the way you deal with it now, especially neglect, if you read this and also have CPTSD.
I'd like to further expand upon that--the issue of neglect. I think a lot of people who talk about childhood trauma tend to fixate on abuse, physical and sexual, and while I'm not trying to discount that because they are extremely damaging in a myriad of ways, there is little talk of the insidious ways neglect can manifest itself. While I don't think that he delved too deeply in the ways neglect can appear and even trick us into thinking we weren't neglected (because of this very refusal to discuss and explore it in many circles aside from overt neglect), I felt like he approached it in a way that made you wonder... "Hm. Yeah. Maybe so." But because I'm very early in recognizing that I have CPTSD, it still rings very dubiously to me.
My favorite part of this book is how hopefully he describes the entire process and journey. I know a lot of trauma survivors in general approach life very hopelessly and discount the benefits of seeking help because well, nothing has ever worked, why would it now? Why keep trying? So the way he presents his case for self-help, with his practical toolboxes and strategies, makes me, in particular, feel like getting better is possible--maybe not complete recovery, because he does acknowledge this (which I also appreciate), but a life that you think is worth living.
Something that sparked a train of thought in my mind, though, is how he describes the four Fs, the coping defenses that people with CPTSD have, either mostly one or a combination of them. It's made me wonder about the legitimacy of personality disorders and whether they should really be considered such (because all four Fs remind me of some personality disorder in the DSM), rather than coping mechanisms. Of course, not all personality disorders are results of trauma (they say... but it makes you wonder, when the statistics tell you otherwise, that trauma is extremely common), so maybe that's moot.
One complaint I have, though, is the stigmatizing language he uses toward people with BPD, many of whom are also traumatized and really meet the criteria for CPTSD, honestly. It's unfair because otherwise he treats all other traumatized people with compassion and understanding, including so-called "fight" types who resort to attack and narcissism to cope with their trauma.
Last thing I have to say is that if you have CPTSD, or suspect you have it, read this book. It can be uncomfortable, and you may have to space readings of it because it can be like triggering yourself, but it's worth it. I intend to refer back to it a lot.
I'd like to further expand upon that--the issue of neglect. I think a lot of people who talk about childhood trauma tend to fixate on abuse, physical and sexual, and while I'm not trying to discount that because they are extremely damaging in a myriad of ways, there is little talk of the insidious ways neglect can manifest itself. While I don't think that he delved too deeply in the ways neglect can appear and even trick us into thinking we weren't neglected (because of this very refusal to discuss and explore it in many circles aside from overt neglect), I felt like he approached it in a way that made you wonder... "Hm. Yeah. Maybe so." But because I'm very early in recognizing that I have CPTSD, it still rings very dubiously to me.
My favorite part of this book is how hopefully he describes the entire process and journey. I know a lot of trauma survivors in general approach life very hopelessly and discount the benefits of seeking help because well, nothing has ever worked, why would it now? Why keep trying? So the way he presents his case for self-help, with his practical toolboxes and strategies, makes me, in particular, feel like getting better is possible--maybe not complete recovery, because he does acknowledge this (which I also appreciate), but a life that you think is worth living.
Something that sparked a train of thought in my mind, though, is how he describes the four Fs, the coping defenses that people with CPTSD have, either mostly one or a combination of them. It's made me wonder about the legitimacy of personality disorders and whether they should really be considered such (because all four Fs remind me of some personality disorder in the DSM), rather than coping mechanisms. Of course, not all personality disorders are results of trauma (they say... but it makes you wonder, when the statistics tell you otherwise, that trauma is extremely common), so maybe that's moot.
One complaint I have, though, is the stigmatizing language he uses toward people with BPD, many of whom are also traumatized and really meet the criteria for CPTSD, honestly. It's unfair because otherwise he treats all other traumatized people with compassion and understanding, including so-called "fight" types who resort to attack and narcissism to cope with their trauma.
Last thing I have to say is that if you have CPTSD, or suspect you have it, read this book. It can be uncomfortable, and you may have to space readings of it because it can be like triggering yourself, but it's worth it. I intend to refer back to it a lot.
cricket1208's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
5.0
I think everyone should read this book. It opens your eyes to how traumatizing our culture is and how you can address your personal trauma and move forward and be a better person. It's how you can grow and heal.
dadcalves's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0