Reviews

Along Came a Wolf by Adam Dreece

marsenault13's review

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4.0

Love this book!! This series is a lot of fun, the adventures the Yellow Hoods get into, the sly wit in the tale-teĺling. I'm very glad I purchased the set, and can't wait to get back into the rest of them.

wart's review

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1.0

Things I Find While Shelving

I received a free ARC via NetGalley

Normally I don’t finish books I don’t like because I see no reason to waste my time reading something that I’m not enjoying, for whatever reason. But Along Came a Wolf was a super quick read so I figured what the hell, my as well see what happens when I finish a book I don’t like.

Quotes taken from an advanced reader copy, may differ from finalized version.

This book has it all!


+ Stupid Ass Names


The MC’s name is Tee. There is a character named Egelina-Marie solely for the joke of “Bakon and Eg” when she starts dating a dude named Bakon.


ALSO. The MC’s grandfather is named Nikolas Klaus. And he’s an inventor.


and the big bad is named Andre LeLoup.


+ Children thrown into dangerous situations and grownups doing jack shit about it (even seeming to endorse it!)

He snapped his fingers, having almost forgotten he was Tee’s father


Good to know who’s in charge here.

"But…we’re just kids.”

For a moment, Elly felt like that simply stated truth might erase her own courage. “No, Richy - we’re not. We were kids.”


Pretty sure you’re still kids. You did not magically age six years in the space of a paragraph.

"I fear the world will need you and the Yellow Hoods sooner than I’d hoped."


Says Tee’s grandfather. Because fuck grownups! Twelve year olds are all you need to save the world!


+ Adults who just…make stupid ass decisions


Grandpa decides its a great idea to piss off the murderous ass hole when he’s holding a twelve year old girl hostage because he needed every advantage he could get right now. Except making someone angry isn’t always an advantage. Especially not if they have a hostage. When people have hostages you want them CALM not angry. But grandpa has no fucks to give for common sense so he decides to belittle the big bad.

Meanwhile, in parental land: …he felt responsible to make sure she understood where the border with being rude was. Also known as PARENTING. JFC.

+ Crappy writing


Elly gave Tee the eyebrow treatment.
(I’m assuming this means she raised an eyebrow in disbelief, but it sounds like some sort of spa thing.)


He was freaking out.
(This just jarred me because it doesn’t really fit with the feel of the rest of the book. Like when Tee packs up her “back pack” and I’m like “why not call it a rucksack or a knapsack?” Another one was the use of “reception desk”)


…the adventurous day slowly retired.
(sunset…I guess?)


…he’s still getting people dropping by.
(this just hurts to say)


William switched to his dad-is-telling-you-something-important voice.
(because “stern” is just too much of a mouthful)


…making his best yuck face.
(I’ll just leave that there)


+ Weird gender stereotyping shit


Seriously. This book is all over the map. We’ve got twelve year old girls who are allowed to assist in rescue operations against armed and dangerous villians, and then we have shit like this:

Egelina-Marie’s mother had wanted her to have a different career - anything other than being one of the guardsmen.


"What type of career is that for a woman?"


and

That sister of mine is a baby-making machine. Every time she sneezes out comes another girl, and if she coughs, a boy! So far she’s had six sneezes and two coughs.


…seriously. what the every loving fuck?


+ Cartoonish Villains who monologue! And are stupidly incompetent.

…the horseman scanned the forest on either side of the road. Convinced Nikolas was alone…


Because having more than one guard so one can go and actually check the forest would just make sense.

Leloup came to the doorstep. He held Klaus’ long shocking rod in one hand, and straightened his mustache with the other.


Who is he, Snidely fucking Whiplash?

He needed to hear defeat in the old man’s voice.



I don’t see why? I mean. The longer you wait around for that shit the less likely you are to actually successfully get away.

He opened his green eyes wide, almost as if they could swallow up the doctor


How’s that work? Do his pupils double as black holes and just suck all matter into their inky depths?


+ Annoyingly incompetent adults in positions of power!


On patrol, Eg and her commanding officer meet Richy (one of Tee’s friends) who is looking for a guard to help them because shit is going down. This is how Eg’s sergeant reacts to this: You can’t trust children.

Because that’s what I want in my town guard! Then he tries to place Eg under arrest when she decides to go with Richy. because she’s disobeying her superior officer. Who’s being a superior ninny, so, you know.


Meanwhile, the captain of the guards! First he feels his lieutenant is keeping something from him and instead of pressing the issue he lets it drop. His lieutenant is bringing him important information about possible plans of a prison break attempt by a very dangerous person. Like. Seriously. Dude, you are his fucking boss. And it’s an important situation. You should probably figure out what the fuck he’s keeping from you you dumbass.


And in front of the prisoner he says things like: "Can you believe him? Acting like we’re taking him out for breakfast with the queen." Because being professional is for the lower ranks, am I right?!


Let’s not even start with the guard who told the prisoner that the guard who shot him (Eg) will be going on a date with the guy who beat him up (Bakon). He also informs him of where said date will probably take place.


Like. What the fuck? He’s not some dude on the barstool next to you. He’s a prisoner. YOU DON’T JUST GIVE HIM INFORMATION! Also, why are you having a chat with him?

+ ~Mysterious shit~


There’s a tree house in the middle of the woods that appeared mysteriously. Tee, Elly, and Richy use it as a sort of base. Shit keeps showing up there. Like shock sticks. If the text is to be believed there is no magic in this world, yet the constant repetition that magical elves are responsible does make me wonder.

There’s also the dreaded “SOMETHING” coupled with ~feels~


I feel like there’s something evil out there. and I feel like our fate is somehow tied to it.



Something. Somehow. I get them not knowing what’s going on, but why does it have to be something bigger than this one dude trying to strong arm her grandpa? They don’t know about the guy who hired LeLoup (Simon St. Malo), so why are they so sure of this vague something that is tied to their fate?


It might not bother me because, you know, twelve year olds, except grandpa seems to think the same thing: Something big is coming; I can feel it.


The vague something just bothers me because it stinks of authorial hand.


So. yeah. Super quick read if you want to give it a go. I like the idea behind it, but omg it was horrendous.

I may need to watch Hoodwinked to cleanse my brain of this.
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