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sleepygirlreads_'s review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
Graphic: Murder and Sexual content
Moderate: Stalking and Violence
rokiro13's review
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.0
“I have no name but yours, Tana. I am your faithful guardian and protector, nothing more, nothing less. I am your door, and I love you.”
Moderate: Stalking, Violence, Kidnapping, and Murder
Minor: Death
lizardgod's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
All jokes aside, what did I read? I can't even rate this because for how bad the plot and characters (and to some degree the writing) are, I can't tell if that was intentional or not. I went into this as a comedy and left it very bewildered, but laughing. Congrats to the author for writing such a cursed book, that it inevitably became a comedic masterpiece.
Graphic: Stalking, Cursing, Gun violence, Death, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Blood, Violence, and Murder
Moderate: Alcohol, Sexism, Body horror, and Injury/Injury detail
jamiecl's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.0
Graphic: Violence, Sexual content, and Stalking
Moderate: Death, Sexual harassment, and Murder
Minor: Alcohol
aroraback's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
And there was a justification to why the door got fucked, and why it was sentient, which was honestly more than I expected. And once we got to that point, I definitely wasn’t surprised, what else would it have been??
I was entertained while reading this LOL. Wouldn’t recommend if you’re looking for something substantial. Would recommend if you’re looking for weird shit haha
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Violence
alixsbooktherapy's review
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
This book had me asking myself what the fuck I was reading and questioning myself so much especially when I got aroused
This is one of those odd smuts I recommend
The love tana and drys had was absolutely so cute even if he was previously her door
The aftercare was top tier and I've never seen books really go that detailed into it.
This book was sexy and wholesome at the same time the spice level was 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 I was so shocked I didn't think I'd like it
Shoutout to vera Valentine for making me even kinkier🤣 definitely can't wait to read more fucked up smut by her/others (give me recs😅)
I cried when Drys got shot by tanas creepy neighbor Randall.
My heart hurt so bad like what the actual fuck
Now to share some quotes
“That was a handjob, Drys, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man completely reboot his hard drive over it like that. You okay, baby? I worried I’d broken you for a second there.”
Her light teasing made my cock throb pleasantly. She stroked me again, firmly enough that my hips kicked again and I moaned out loud, nodding frantically.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, Drys. I have a weakness for big, strong men who do as they’re told. Good boys who enjoy working for my praise. It makes me feel safe and protected. Do you know anyone like that?” (he got so nervous when she said this)
What do you want me to call you Tana asked Yours, I thought, before the question really sunk in. Right, a name. Humans had those. I didn’t.
“The look on your face when I told you what a good door you were for me.”
She was the most beautiful human I’d ever seen, and if I’d been in love with her before, I was entirely smitten now.
“Drys, I don’t know if you can hear me. I’m not even sure you weren’t a fever dream, but I can’t let you go. I made them bring you back to me after their investigation, after Randall was charged for the death of that poor girl.”
“My Beautiful Tana, how I’ve missed you. I’d die for you a thousand times to live this moment.”
Graphic: Torture, Injury/Injury detail, Alcoholism, Alcohol, Murder, Stalking, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Sexual content, Violence, Blood, Gore, Gun violence, Drug use, Sexual harassment, Death, and Body horror
k_bee_readin's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Sexual harassment, Murder, Death, and Violence
leximoonbeam's review
3.5
Rating 3.5 stars - weird, but didn't take itself too seriously and was kind of funny
Would I recommend this book: on sheer weirdness alone, but the themes themselves are not particularly special
Overall: do you like weird books? Do you want a short read? Are you looking for a different kind of paranormal/fantasy boyfriend and don't want to take it too seriously? This is the book for you. I spent a lot of time wide eyed reading and laughing, but the door magic aside it's not particularly innovative in terms of trope - just enough new/weird with comfortable themes you already know. It's like the princess and the frog, but if the frog was a door.
Graphic: Sexual content, Gun violence, Stalking, and Violence
I read it so you don't have to. Now what the fuck did I just read:kimduindam's review
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
No, but seriously. I loved reading this weird book, even though now I'm traumatised and I won't ever look at a door the same again.
Drys is a cute door 😂
Okay, brb, now I'm gonna remove all the doors in my house.
Trigger warning: Door sex
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Violence and Blood
Minor: Murder
time_isnt_real's review
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.5
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Stalking, and Violence