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lizardgod's review
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Author writes about how unethical AI is in the intro. Author proceeds to write a story I'd only imagine I'd get from AI. /jk
All jokes aside, what did I read? I can't even rate this because for how bad the plot and characters (and to some degree the writing) are, I can't tell if that was intentional or not. I went into this as a comedy and left it very bewildered, but laughing. Congrats to the author for writing such a cursed book, that it inevitably became a comedic masterpiece.
All jokes aside, what did I read? I can't even rate this because for how bad the plot and characters (and to some degree the writing) are, I can't tell if that was intentional or not. I went into this as a comedy and left it very bewildered, but laughing. Congrats to the author for writing such a cursed book, that it inevitably became a comedic masterpiece.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Stalking, Cursing, Gun violence, Death, Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Blood, Violence, and Murder
Moderate: Alcohol, Sexism, Body horror, and Injury/Injury detail
jamiecl's review
adventurous
funny
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? N/A
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Sexual content, and Stalking
Moderate: Death, Sexual harassment, and Murder
Minor: Alcohol
vreyna20_2004's review
adventurous
funny
lighthearted
relaxing
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A
1.0
I felt uncomfortable for not Tana having sex with her door (and liking it) but because they explained how Drys (the door) door knob which is his dick stretched her. I can’t even say that I didn’t need to know since I read this willingly. Also Drys? Seriously? Anyway, the creep who murdered the girl cannot be a realistic way people talk when they’re being creepy, right? I’m just baffled I tried writing a review for so long, but nothing comes in my mind. I just read it and I don’t like that.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content, Gun violence, and Stalking
Moderate: Murder and Death
Minor: Alcohol
gaymoonreader's review
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Stalking and Gun violence
Minor: Alcohol and Murder
alixsbooktherapy's review
challenging
emotional
funny
informative
lighthearted
relaxing
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Well I guess I'm attracted to doors🤣
This book had me asking myself what the fuck I was reading and questioning myself so much especially when I got aroused
This is one of those odd smuts I recommend
The love tana and drys had was absolutely so cute even if he was previously her door
The aftercare was top tier and I've never seen books really go that detailed into it.
This book was sexy and wholesome at the same time the spice level was 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 I was so shocked I didn't think I'd like it
Shoutout to vera Valentine for making me even kinkier🤣 definitely can't wait to read more fucked up smut by her/others (give me recs😅)
I cried when Drys got shot by tanas creepy neighbor Randall.
My heart hurt so bad like what the actual fuck
Now to share some quotes
“That was a handjob, Drys, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man completely reboot his hard drive over it like that. You okay, baby? I worried I’d broken you for a second there.”
Her light teasing made my cock throb pleasantly. She stroked me again, firmly enough that my hips kicked again and I moaned out loud, nodding frantically.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, Drys. I have a weakness for big, strong men who do as they’re told. Good boys who enjoy working for my praise. It makes me feel safe and protected. Do you know anyone like that?” (he got so nervous when she said this)
What do you want me to call you Tana asked Yours, I thought, before the question really sunk in. Right, a name. Humans had those. I didn’t.
“The look on your face when I told you what a good door you were for me.”
She was the most beautiful human I’d ever seen, and if I’d been in love with her before, I was entirely smitten now.
“Drys, I don’t know if you can hear me. I’m not even sure you weren’t a fever dream, but I can’t let you go. I made them bring you back to me after their investigation, after Randall was charged for the death of that poor girl.”
“My Beautiful Tana, how I’ve missed you. I’d die for you a thousand times to live this moment.”
This book had me asking myself what the fuck I was reading and questioning myself so much especially when I got aroused
This is one of those odd smuts I recommend
The love tana and drys had was absolutely so cute even if he was previously her door
The aftercare was top tier and I've never seen books really go that detailed into it.
This book was sexy and wholesome at the same time the spice level was 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 I was so shocked I didn't think I'd like it
Shoutout to vera Valentine for making me even kinkier🤣 definitely can't wait to read more fucked up smut by her/others (give me recs😅)
I cried when Drys got shot by tanas creepy neighbor Randall.
My heart hurt so bad like what the actual fuck
Now to share some quotes
“That was a handjob, Drys, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a man completely reboot his hard drive over it like that. You okay, baby? I worried I’d broken you for a second there.”
Her light teasing made my cock throb pleasantly. She stroked me again, firmly enough that my hips kicked again and I moaned out loud, nodding frantically.
“I’m going to tell you a secret, Drys. I have a weakness for big, strong men who do as they’re told. Good boys who enjoy working for my praise. It makes me feel safe and protected. Do you know anyone like that?” (he got so nervous when she said this)
What do you want me to call you Tana asked Yours, I thought, before the question really sunk in. Right, a name. Humans had those. I didn’t.
“The look on your face when I told you what a good door you were for me.”
She was the most beautiful human I’d ever seen, and if I’d been in love with her before, I was entirely smitten now.
“Drys, I don’t know if you can hear me. I’m not even sure you weren’t a fever dream, but I can’t let you go. I made them bring you back to me after their investigation, after Randall was charged for the death of that poor girl.”
“My Beautiful Tana, how I’ve missed you. I’d die for you a thousand times to live this moment.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Torture, Injury/Injury detail, Alcoholism, Alcohol, Murder, Stalking, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Sexual content, Violence, Blood, Gore, Gun violence, Drug use, Sexual harassment, Death, and Body horror
mariareviews's review
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.0
what the actual fuck?
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Stalking
Moderate: Drug use and Violence
Minor: Kidnapping, Murder, and Alcohol
karapillar's review
funny
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Murder, Sexual content, Death, Gun violence, and Stalking
Moderate: Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, Kidnapping, Sexism, Sexual harassment, Violence, Gaslighting, Blood, Cursing, Domestic abuse, and Grief
shinyfox's review
funny
lighthearted
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Stalking
Moderate: Gun violence, Alcohol, Violence, and Death
Minor: Sexual assault and Murder
koistyfishy's review
funny
lighthearted
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
3.5 Knob Stars⭐
Spicy Level: 🌶️🌶️/5
Do I believe in conspiracy theories? No...I don't particularly do...BUT I AM PRETTY SURE the universe was conspiring against me to read this book. YES! Absolutely 1,000%!
If you do not feel like indulging in my made-up fantasy....just scroll down to the section that says "Review"...but seriously....that's just boring
...What happened...
1. I saw Nenia mention the book on my GR Feed.
Now some might be like...yeah, why is that amazing?
Because GlitchReads has a habit of showing you the same review seven times over and over in your feed. One you have already seen, liked, read and commented on... so you hardly ever see anything in your feed that wasn't posted like 15 minutes ago.....
SO the review caught my attention... BECAUSE IT WAS A ROMANCE ABOUT A DOOR...
2. My friend Jordan started RAVING about "a book" in our groupchat
Like she was legit GUSHING ABOUT this awesome book she read about A DOOR...
3. I was browsing Amazon's Kindle store
with "nothing" in the search bar...
AND GUESS WHAT THE VERY FIRST BOOK RECOMMENDED TO ME IS????
Yes - The Dooor BOOK.
So by this point - the universe had thrown so many instances of this book at me, I did what any normal person would do...
I bought it and....read it that night!
Review
This book is exactly what it sounds like and so much more!
Was this a door-shifter romance? Yes, it was.
Were there a few mentions of the word knob? Yes... there were.
But it was actually adorable (yes A-DOOR-ABLE) and really well written.
And considering that it is 69 pages. (Yes, it did that too) it had a cute, little well-founded plot.
It was a good little fantastic palate cleanser, that is great if you have an hour or two to kill and want something weird but also extremely wholesome.
This novella is told completely from the Door's POV. Drys (like Idris) is infatuated with Tana, who lives in the apartment he is installed in. He is incredibly protective of her and has a very valid reason- as the super of the apartment is sleazy, perverted and basically murdered someone who didn't want to give him what he wanted... One night he manages to invade Tana's dreams and explains if she has sex with him (in his door state) he will turn into a man....AND Tana is just the right kind of kinky to try it...
Drys is basically an adorable golden retriever HIMBO...He is super attractive, large, strong, and stupid! But he is also extremely kind and respectful, especially to Tana and gosh the innocence!
Is it a little insta lovey? Yes, it is. But it's a 69-page novella about a door....they need to be knocking pretty soon with so few pages! Quite frankly, read the book! At the first sign in my made-up conspiracy, I didn't think that I would be EVER reading this book, let alone recommending it...but here I am.
READ IT!
It's CUTE!
Tropes:
▶ Greek Mythology
▶ Shifter Romance
▶ TOTAL HIMBO/Golden Retriever MMC
▶ She takes control...
▶ Super Protective MMC
▶ Instalove
The Song playing in my mind the whole time reading this book....
More doors for me. A door-y dee, lots of doors for me
A door, for me, another door for me...
If you know where this comes from... I LOVE YOU!!!!
Spicy Level: 🌶️🌶️/5
Do I believe in conspiracy theories? No...I don't particularly do...BUT I AM PRETTY SURE the universe was conspiring against me to read this book. YES! Absolutely 1,000%!
If you do not feel like indulging in my made-up fantasy....just scroll down to the section that says "Review"...but seriously....that's just boring
...What happened...
1. I saw Nenia mention the book on my GR Feed.
Now some might be like...yeah, why is that amazing?
Because GlitchReads has a habit of showing you the same review seven times over and over in your feed. One you have already seen, liked, read and commented on... so you hardly ever see anything in your feed that wasn't posted like 15 minutes ago.....
SO the review caught my attention... BECAUSE IT WAS A ROMANCE ABOUT A DOOR...
2. My friend Jordan started RAVING about "a book" in our groupchat
Like she was legit GUSHING ABOUT this awesome book she read about A DOOR...
3. I was browsing Amazon's Kindle store
with "nothing" in the search bar...
AND GUESS WHAT THE VERY FIRST BOOK RECOMMENDED TO ME IS????
Yes - The Dooor BOOK.
So by this point - the universe had thrown so many instances of this book at me, I did what any normal person would do...
I bought it and....read it that night!
Review
This book is exactly what it sounds like and so much more!
Was this a door-shifter romance? Yes, it was.
Were there a few mentions of the word knob? Yes... there were.
But it was actually adorable (yes A-DOOR-ABLE) and really well written.
And considering that it is 69 pages. (Yes, it did that too) it had a cute, little well-founded plot.
It was a good little fantastic palate cleanser, that is great if you have an hour or two to kill and want something weird but also extremely wholesome.
This novella is told completely from the Door's POV. Drys (like Idris) is infatuated with Tana, who lives in the apartment he is installed in. He is incredibly protective of her and has a very valid reason- as the super of the apartment is sleazy, perverted and basically murdered someone who didn't want to give him what he wanted... One night he manages to invade Tana's dreams and explains if she has sex with him (in his door state) he will turn into a man....AND Tana is just the right kind of kinky to try it...
Drys is basically an adorable golden retriever HIMBO...He is super attractive, large, strong, and stupid! But he is also extremely kind and respectful, especially to Tana and gosh the innocence!
Is it a little insta lovey? Yes, it is. But it's a 69-page novella about a door....they need to be knocking pretty soon with so few pages! Quite frankly, read the book! At the first sign in my made-up conspiracy, I didn't think that I would be EVER reading this book, let alone recommending it...but here I am.
READ IT!
It's CUTE!
Tropes:
▶ Greek Mythology
▶ Shifter Romance
▶ TOTAL HIMBO/Golden Retriever MMC
▶ She takes control...
▶ Super Protective MMC
▶ Instalove
The Song playing in my mind the whole time reading this book....
More doors for me. A door-y dee, lots of doors for me
A door, for me, another door for me...
If you know where this comes from... I LOVE YOU!!!!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Violence, Sexual content, and Stalking
Moderate: Gun violence and Death
Minor: Sexual assault, Murder, and Alcohol
booksofautumn's review
funny
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Gun violence, Infidelity, Violence, Abandonment, Blood, Alcohol, and Stalking