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kimberlybea's review
5.0
An introspective memoir in poetry by a woman whose mother was black and whose father, who left when Quan Lee was five, was Chinese. Growing up, Quan Lee was able to pass for white or, failing that, to emphasize her Chinese heritage for the sake of being "exotic;" one father-in-law was even allowed to believe she was Polynesian. Such flexibility of her apparent race leads not only to a crisis of identity for Quan Lee, but a sense of invisibility, the cure for which, her introduction suggests, was several suicide attempts. The suicide notes become a means for her to let go of what is harmful in her life (lack of self-esteem, self-denial, invisibility) while extolling the healing powers of writing. I'll be honest: the subject matter, stream of consciousness writing style, and very personal nature of Quan Lee's revelations make this book at times difficult to read. There were definitely times when my emotions came to the surface and I had to put it down for a bit. However, her writing speaks against choosing what is easy over what is true, or favoring the comfortable over the candid, so I persevered, in the end feeling exhausted but also moved and inspired. This is a book I will turn to often when I am afraid to confront my own dark places, tempted to seek my sense of self from others, or forgetful of just how much writing can do.
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