The Man They Wanted Me to Be: Toxic Masculinity and a Crisis of Our Own Making by Jared Yates Sexton

4.23 AVERAGE

futuredocmartin's profile picture

futuredocmartin's review against another edition

4.5
emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced
Young men should give this a listen (or read). He has a very enlightening perspective on masculinity. 

leslieyamaka's review against another edition

4.0
informative sad tense medium-paced
p_tremuloides's profile picture

p_tremuloides's review against another edition

5.0
hopeful reflective
orrbailey's profile picture

orrbailey's review against another edition

3.5
challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective medium-paced
Such an interesting and refreshing read. It’s nice to finally read about a man who is aware of his privileges while also acknowledging their trauma.

andreweder's review against another edition

4.0
informative reflective medium-paced
tiboutoo's profile picture

tiboutoo's review against another edition

3.0
I'm curious who the intended audience is. As a woman, there was lots of head nodding and agreement. And I give the author credit for all the emotional work he has done.

But it seems a little off if the goal is for men to drop toxic masculinity and be a new breed of men. Must be nice to just up and do that while women, POC and other minorities fight for all the opportunities we can get.

For me, it seems important to also focus on dismantling the patriarchy and white supremacy to make room for a new breed of humans on more equal ground.
alexisnasya's profile picture

alexisnasya's review

4.0
informative reflective medium-paced

nycbrian1983's review against another edition

5.0
Challenging and moving this book hits home. Jared covers childhood trauma, masculinity, and doesn't shy from embarrassing details. In many ways it reminded me of Roxane Gay's Hunger. If you're a white guy, read this.

womenwer16's review against another edition

5.0
I was really taken by this book. Through a autobiographical lense we understand the history behind the unrealistic demands and roles expected of men. A history that men today are desperately clinging to and because of it have given rise to dangerous political figures like our president Donald Trump. This book is part reflection and part political and social commentary of where we have been and where we are going as society begins to shift. The author brings some light into this war of the sexes and provides some perspective of what it will take to unify and heal us as people.
mdubielak's profile picture

mdubielak's review against another edition

4.0
Interweaving his personal history with research and psychology, Jared Sexton shows beyond any doubt that the USA is riddled with men who have been sold a bill of goods. Taught to be quiet, fearless, in control, and unfeeling, men find out the hard way that living like this is totally incompatible with happiness, satisfaction and healthy relationships. Unfortunately, the broken lives left in the wake of their fury can testify to this truth as well.