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bookishmillennial's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
informative
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
disclaimer if you’ve read other reviews by me and are noticing a pattern: You’re correct that I don’t really give starred reviews because I don’t like leaving them. Most often, I will only leave them if I vehemently despised a book.
I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. Everyone’s reading experiences are subjective, so I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not, regardless of a lack of stars.
Find me on Instagram: @bookish.millennial or tiktok: @bookishmillennial
I think this should absolutely be considered a young adult/teen coming-of-age classic! I have no notes and I can't wait to read more from Jas Hammonds. I was fully invested in this story from start to finish, and I want to re-read it now knowing everything I know!
Avery is such a layered young main character -- any time a kid or teenager has to move cities, I really feel for them. It's rough to be the "new kid," it's rough to re-find your people (often, at least when I was in high school & college, many of our school friends are proximity friends because we spend every day with them, and once you're apart, it's like a slow-burn goodbye), and it's rough to make a new place feel like home, and as if you belong there.
I loved how Avery felt so sure of her life, her motivations, her aspirations before coming to small town Bardell, Georgia. She was laser-focused on getting into Georgetown University, and could not fathom calling Bardell home. This place had a population of about ~9k people, compared to DC?! I loved her character development and journey towards examining what a full life could look like in Bardell. Regarding her friendships, I appreciated how Avery subtly noticed the differences between her friends from DC and her new friends (Jade and Simone) in Bardell. You can't know what you don't know, and if you don't know that friendships can be a certain way, it's such a sweet illumination to realize, 'Oh, this feels so much better, and I didn't know I needed this type of connection and relationship.'
The fact that they move there because Zora (Avery's mom) finds out that her mother (Mama Letty - fun fact: I also have a Mama Letty and I know, no one cares haha!) is dying after being diagnosed with cancer starts their move off on a somber tone. It's the entire reason for being there after leaving ten years ago. If Jas Hammonds got ONE thing right (and they got EVERYTHING right in this book), it's the fraught relationships between mothers and daughters. *screams in mommy issues* I really did feel so seen with these dynamics, and I actually love when everyone involved is messy and imperfect. Mama Letty was hurt (the reveal of what happened to Avery's grandpa is devastating), her pain seeped into how she mothered Zora, and then Zora's traumatic upbringing was projected onto Avery. The way Jas portrayed the aftermath of how powerful and consuming this generational trauma was utter perfection!
Mama Letty casts a light on Bardell's racist and violent history, and Avery sees how it *still* affects present-day Bardell. Something else that comes into play from the past is Avery and Simone's budding romance - we come to find out there was a sapphic forbidden love before their (Simone & Avery) time, and Jas illustrated this so well: while being queer and out today is still dangerous (we can't ignore the threatening laws and proposed policies that are constantly targeting the queer community in the U.S. right now), it was even more taboo to acknowledge or admit ~20 or more years ago. I appreciated the multiple representations of how different people reckon with their queerness, what motivates them (whether it's family, religion, culture), and their overall journeys.
Lastly, I have to give major props to the narrator of the audiobook, Tamika Katon-Donegal - I listened on Libro.FM. She did a phenomenal job, and brought so much emotion out of me as I listened to this. Overall, this was an absolute top read of the year for me & Jas Hammonds is a new autobuy author! A lot of my mutuals raved about it and they were not wrong.
Quotations that stood out to me:
I enjoy most books for what they are, & I extract lessons from them all. Everyone’s reading experiences are subjective, so I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not, regardless of a lack of stars.
Find me on Instagram: @bookish.millennial or tiktok: @bookishmillennial
I think this should absolutely be considered a young adult/teen coming-of-age classic! I have no notes and I can't wait to read more from Jas Hammonds. I was fully invested in this story from start to finish, and I want to re-read it now knowing everything I know!
Avery is such a layered young main character -- any time a kid or teenager has to move cities, I really feel for them. It's rough to be the "new kid," it's rough to re-find your people (often, at least when I was in high school & college, many of our school friends are proximity friends because we spend every day with them, and once you're apart, it's like a slow-burn goodbye), and it's rough to make a new place feel like home, and as if you belong there.
I loved how Avery felt so sure of her life, her motivations, her aspirations before coming to small town Bardell, Georgia. She was laser-focused on getting into Georgetown University, and could not fathom calling Bardell home. This place had a population of about ~9k people, compared to DC?! I loved her character development and journey towards examining what a full life could look like in Bardell. Regarding her friendships, I appreciated how Avery subtly noticed the differences between her friends from DC and her new friends (Jade and Simone) in Bardell. You can't know what you don't know, and if you don't know that friendships can be a certain way, it's such a sweet illumination to realize, 'Oh, this feels so much better, and I didn't know I needed this type of connection and relationship.'
The fact that they move there because Zora (Avery's mom) finds out that her mother (Mama Letty - fun fact: I also have a Mama Letty and I know, no one cares haha!) is dying after being diagnosed with cancer starts their move off on a somber tone. It's the entire reason for being there after leaving ten years ago. If Jas Hammonds got ONE thing right (and they got EVERYTHING right in this book), it's the fraught relationships between mothers and daughters. *screams in mommy issues* I really did feel so seen with these dynamics, and I actually love when everyone involved is messy and imperfect. Mama Letty was hurt (the reveal of what happened to Avery's grandpa is devastating), her pain seeped into how she mothered Zora, and then Zora's traumatic upbringing was projected onto Avery. The way Jas portrayed the aftermath of how powerful and consuming this generational trauma was utter perfection!
Mama Letty casts a light on Bardell's racist and violent history, and Avery sees how it *still* affects present-day Bardell. Something else that comes into play from the past is Avery and Simone's budding romance - we come to find out there was a sapphic forbidden love before their (Simone & Avery) time, and Jas illustrated this so well: while being queer and out today is still dangerous (we can't ignore the threatening laws and proposed policies that are constantly targeting the queer community in the U.S. right now), it was even more taboo to acknowledge or admit ~20 or more years ago. I appreciated the multiple representations of how different people reckon with their queerness, what motivates them (whether it's family, religion, culture), and their overall journeys.
Lastly, I have to give major props to the narrator of the audiobook, Tamika Katon-Donegal - I listened on Libro.FM. She did a phenomenal job, and brought so much emotion out of me as I listened to this. Overall, this was an absolute top read of the year for me & Jas Hammonds is a new autobuy author! A lot of my mutuals raved about it and they were not wrong.
Quotations that stood out to me:
But if they looked closer…They would’ve seen a living, breathing example of something marvelous and worthy of remembrance. They would have seen us.
“She was a sunflower. Beautiful. Standing tall, searching for warmth and expansion. The kind of flower whose field you could get lost in.”
"I cried because I felt guilty. And helpless. And lonely and frustrated and angry. I cried because I couldn’t tell if everything was changing or nothing was."
“Be careful with all them questions you’re asking,” she said. “Might fuck around and actually learn something.”
"Letty sat in her car and waited in the dark for hours. For what, she wasn't sure. God. Justice. Relief. The red and blue lights of a cop car. Or maybe, she was waiting for someone to cross the frosted dead winter grass and knock on her foggy window so she could write her testament in the condensation. Telling whoever wanted to witness, See me. See me. See me."
"All night I thought how mom uprooted our entire lives to move down here. And now all she did was swat away my questions in a half baked attempt to pretend like everything was okay. Mom had always raised me to mature and inquisitive. But when it came to our own family all of that was out the window and replaced with her don't worry about it life is short the universe is big and our problems are not bullshit."
"'Maybe they're not petty little things.'
"'It's been years since my mom left, Jade, years!'
"'Exactly. It's been years and whatever broke them is still bothering them. That means it must've been serious.'
"'Serious enough that Mama Letty is literally about to die and my mom still can't let it go?'
Jade shrugged. 'Trauma is a bitch who keeps on giving. It's hard to let go of something you haven't worked through. Some would argue it's impossible.'"
"I learned active shooter drills the same time I learned my ABCs, every summer was the hottest on record. The pandemic paused a majority of my high school years, and I'd been convinced the only way to make it up was to go, go, go full steam ahead. And now this. It was Mama Letty's last days and there wasn't nearly enough time to make up everything I'd lost. Life was short. Everything was urgent and who had time to breathe in all that?"
“I always thought falling in love would feel like an endless summer. Warm and whimsical, sugar-sweet sherbet and sparklers lighting up the sky. But was autumn now, and the world was still beautiful, and it all reminded me of her.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Animal death, Homophobia, and Racism
Moderate: Cancer, Death of parent, Violence, Terminal illness, and Murder
Minor: Police brutality and Alcoholism
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