Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

Angels Before Man by rafael nicolás

21 reviews

androgynous_child's review against another edition

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dark reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.75

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charlotteregan's review against another edition

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3.75

SO… 🧍🏻‍♀️ Where do I even begin? This novel portrays how love can destory even the most divine beings and I AM SO!!!! Lucifer’s villain arc was something I had been waiting for everytime I flipped a page and I got disappointed when it happened at the end WHEN there were no pages left. But!!! BUT I get why it’s called “Angels Before Man” and trust me no genius could ever pull off this title better than Rafael Nicolás!

The ending was a bit anticlimactic that’s why I’m not rounding it to 4, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy this book. The romance between Michael and Lucifer destroyed me in so many ways unimaginable.

THAT ENDING??? THE ENDING WHERE THE ARCHANGEL IS DESTROYING HIS DEMON LOVER???? YEAH TOTALLY KILLED ME. IT’S CRAZY WHAT WORSHIP DOES TO US REALLY.

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seykv's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I remember when you were created, Lucifer. I saw how our Father sewed you from coppers, how He handled you when you were settings of gold. He embroidered a nose on you, a sweet mouth on you, then the outline for a pair of eyes before He placed suns there. He sculpted your face with wet clay; He opened you like a mandarin and planted a garden of budding flowers inside. He weaved your hair, I think, from the streaks of three bursting stars, and from your wings out of four wandering crescent moons. Your hips came from the tides of a sea, and then He carved your hands and feet from marble and pearls. I watched Him breathe life into you, then cradle you as if you were His first angel. He placed you into a fire cut into the air, and He let you simmer there.

Wow. Just wow. More people need to read this book.

Angels Before Man follows Lucifer's transformation from God's favorite, an angel too shy to glance at his reflection, to the Devil we all know (and love!). This novel is a masterfully crafted character study told through prose as ethereal as its setting. Highlighting the unsavory aspects of Christianity, Lucifer's tragic descent feels not just believable, but inevitable.

Lucifer seems like the perfect angel in the beginning: beautiful, humble, and--most importantly--obedient. He endeared me from his first stuttering words. The novel starts as a fluffy slice-of-life following Lucifer’s early years in paradise. He coos at flowers. He cuddles a colorful cast of characters. He finds a role serving his beloved God. Lucifer loves Heaven, and it loves him.

The entire universe sprawled before him but peppering his cheeks with enough warm kisses to make him laugh.

The sparse plot finds its tension in dramatic irony. Scattered throughout are indications of Lucifer's true nature.

God creates Lucifer as "the Beast," burdened with awareness and thus shame that separate him from other angels. One of my favorite scenes depicts a young Lucifer struggling with his latent sexuality in the bathhouse. He alone scrambles to cover himself. For a reason he does not know, he cannot stop staring at his naked brothers.

Then Lucifer meets Michael. In many ways, their bond is the story's catalyst. It is equal parts heartwarming and heartbreaking.

Michael is everything Lucifer wishes he could be. Michael is God's all-important archangel. He is proud of his strength. He has no shame. And unlike other angels, he encourages Lucifer to adopt these same qualities. In Michael, Lucifer finds acceptance of himself and joy outside of God. Their relationship germinates the seeds of his rebellion. But Michael does not witness God's crimes; he cannot understand the movement he inspired or its leader, the angel he still loves. The novel describes his last act: "Michael, between them all, his tears morphing into crystals, slicing down his cheeks and making him bleed."

Lucifer's innocence seeps away one page, one conversation, one betrayal at a time. The angel Lucifer and the demon Lucifer are as different as could be. Yet there were no moments when I felt he suddenly broke character. There were, however, moments when I felt like a frog that saw the boiling of slowly heated water at last. Lucifer would commit some act that would horrify his younger self, and I would then realize that Lucifer had not blushed, bowed, or cried for a number of chapters--he had become so distant but taken such small steps that I took no notice.

The novel uses Lucifer's fall to explore themes of shame and freedom. These are placed within the context of organized religion, but anyone who has felt at odds with inane higher authority can relate to them.

The main conflict occurs because Lucifer cannot conform to his society's standards. God expects his angels to be humble and subservient, but Lucifer becomes unafraid to wield his beauty for himself. God says angels are complete beings born to worship Him, but Lucifer loves Michael as if they were two halves of one whole:"I don't want to be complete; I'd rather be split and become full with you."

Lucifer dares to question God for giving him life--then shaming him for loving it more than Him. For these sins, God punishes him.

Lucifer passes from disobedience into full-blown rebellion. He gains a hatred of the weakness in Heaven that gives God power and excuses His crimes. It applies to angels who serve God, angels who serve him, and even himself. In one memorable scene, he imagines defiling and murdering his innocent young self. He wants to shape Heaven to his libertine beliefs.

Lucifer does not, of course, succeed in that. God is all-powerful. Perhaps He even planned for Lucifer's rebellion. (Why else would He let Lucifer enact so much violence before stopping him? Why else would He encourage Lucifer to use his body by taking his voice?) But the novel makes clear that God does not win, and Lucifer does not lose. Lucifer does create a new order. While the angels who remain in Heaven now fear the lonely God, the demons who fall to Earth still love Lucifer--because they are the only ones free to love whoever they want.

All this is accentuated through beautiful and imaginative prose. The author paints the story through otherworldly metaphors that are right at home in Heaven.

One angel's eyes are described as such:

His irises were bustling rivers, housing a million fish circling abysses of pupils.

This depicts the simple act of fixing hair:

He split the sea of golden threads, then crossed each river over one another, creating a pattern, weaving a braid.

Even a bruised and bleeding face is made poetic:

[The face] belonged to someone who'd been invaded by red cherries, blackberries, blueberries, a conglomerate of them bursting from his skin.

However, there are times when the prose is... experimental

(especially as Lucifer's mental state degrades)

. The point of view can switch back and forth then back again in the middle of a sentence. At times I had to read a conversation more than once to tell whose thoughts are whose. Certain passages are written without proper capitalization or punctuation to convey a character's frenzy--but more often than not, they are just difficult to read. These are my biggest, maybe only, problems with the novel.

The ending is satisfying enough that the novel can serve as a standalone. However, after seeing (stalking from top to bottom) the author's Tumblr, I have seen that two more entries are planned for this narrative. They will center Azazel and Dina and cover the Flood and Armageddon. I am sure they will be of similar quality to Angels Before Man, which has quickly become one of my favorite novels.

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purrson's review

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I couldn’t finish this, at least for now. As Lucifer

recovers from being assaulted in Eden, and shields Michael (again) from how God harmed him, he encourages the angels to harm a bird he’s taken from Eden, to see how far they’ll go for his approval, Something about that scene, even though I read past it, stuck with me, and became too much. It’s how visceral Lucifer’s pain is, how he’s spiraling out of control, but still so intelligent and sensitive. It was too painful to read somehow. I wanted someone to tell Michael so that Lucifer would have someone truly on his side, all the way, I wanted Justice for him, but we know how this story ends.

It was all too sad for me, maybe a little too triggering. It’s a beautifully written book. Maybe I’ll come back to it at some point in the future.

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sapphicbookfae's review

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adventurous dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

this book made me go through a SERIES of emotions! and i enjoyed that

i really loved the sweet moments between the angels and my heart ached because of the heavenly emphasis on purity and obedience as goodness. these concepts are used so easily to control loved ones at times in a manipulative manner. and of course Lucifer's flawed but he went through so much and it's hard for me to hate this version of him

i will say that i hoped for a redeeming ending DESPITE the occurrences of coercive obedience, lack of autonomy, emotional and sexual abuse from those in positions of power. i think this book tells an "ugly" story quite beautifully and demonstrates the extremes that the above occurrences can lead to. the ending chapters did feel rushed to me and i was left wanting to know more about certain characters (maybe intentionally)

definitely give this book a read if you have religious trauma (LMAO) like me and maybe struggle with being honest about your queerness with your catholic religious family members... you get the extreme perspectives

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random19379's review

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adventurous dark emotional funny reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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kenzielireads's review

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challenging dark medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

When the author warns you that part 2 does not need to be read, believe them. Do not read the second half.

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troll_for_initiative's review

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dark emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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tinyelfarcanist's review

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

“Angel of beauty.” That’s what Lucifer has been called from the moment of his creation. Ashamed of his appearance, he wants nothing more than to spend his days worshipping God. That is until archangel Michael grabs his attention. A lyrical retelling of Lucifer's fall.

This is one of the darkest books I've read and I suggest you look at the content warnings before diving into this one. The following is a list of the topics included in my review, just a meagre example of those contained in this novel.

CW: swearing, blasphemy, and mention of wicked acts.

"He is beautiful," the seraph said as the cherub cried out from a scathingly sore throat. "The most magnificent of all your angels, Father."

I loved the prose reflecting Lucifer’s mental state. Lucifer is an interesting character if unappealing at times.

This book is split into two distinct sections. I divided my review as such. Don't be fooled by the sweetness of the first part, this book doesn't shy away from picturing the depravity that a tortured individual is driven to.

Part 1:

So. Fucking. Cute. A naive and recently created Lucifer shares sweet banter with other playful angels in Heaven...

What else could an angel be but happy?

On the surface, this is a story about a beloved bard finding his purpose, a story about a narcissistic pimp and his favourite twink. A story about angels in love.

Why would God make him so beautiful if that beauty wasn’t meant to be admired?

Paradise is not what it seems.

Part 2:

Looking deeper, this is a commentary on jealousy, identity, and religious trauma.

The Lord said, "Sing, angel," His voice all-encompassing, "and you will be saved." Lucifer did so, fearing his God.

For a restless angel like Lucifer, mindless worshipping and hedonism won’t do.

Angels Before Man is powerful in its painfully accurate depictions of depression, wrath, passion, and pride. It is a blasphemous display of the unforgiving Father and the angel who was punished for questioning.

God may have created his equal. He made a perfect angel, and He will soon discover that power corrupts. Lucifer grows more spiteful every time he’s reprimanded.

Let’s not forget that for all of Lucifer’s deviousness, he is God’s creation.

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cryscries's review against another edition

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adventurous dark emotional mysterious reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Honestly if you liked song of Achilles you will probably like this book (but more like lovers to enemies- lots of angst). I was so invested that the second half reminded me how the fall of Lucifer was going to end. The emotions really hit in the second half as Lucifer’s corruption arc.

Before the story starts there is a trigger warning page as well as a helpful suggestion of when to stop reading! Part two isn’t necessary to read (as stated on the page).

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