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If you love the podcast, you'll probably enjoy this book. If colorful language bothers you, um, this is NOT THE BOOK FOR YOU, and neither is the podcast. In fact, how did you get here?

So, Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered is filed under Dewey Decimal 155.3, which is Philosophy and Psychology > Psychology > Developmental And Differential Psychology > Sexuality and Gender. And I suppose that's about as close as we can get to defining this book. While the podcast generally focuses on two murder cases per episode, this book is definitely not True Crime. But neither is it a full autobiography of the two hosts, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Instead, Karen and Georgia riff on some of the repeated themes that come up in the podcast, and fill them out with anecdotes from their own lives.

And that's where we get to the 155.3, because if there is any overarching theme to their work, it is that women have been trained to accept unacceptable behavior, to smile and be polite even at possible risk to their very lives. Karen and Georgia are here to tell you in no uncertain terms "Fuck Politeness" when you need to, and to trust yourself about when that time is.

I thoroughly enjoyed the book because I think these ladies are hysterical, and this book is an expansion on some of the key themes of the podcast. And each woman very much brought her voice to her writing. However... Georgia's parts of the book are much more engaging because she is more open about her past, and tells her stories as just that, while Karen (forgive me) writes to TEACH YOU SOMETHING. Even as she discusses her own battle with alcohol she writes to "you." For me, it felt too didactic, especially when I couldn't identify with the "you" she was writing to. Despite that drawback, the book as a whole is a joyful romp through mistakes and lessons learned that will keep an MFM fan entertained for hours.

Think of everything you do as being chapters in your future autobiographical self-help book about murder.

4.5

I have been listening to My Favorite Murder since 2016 when they only had 30 episodes out and now that Karen and Georgia have come out with a book... I have no words for how incredibly proud I am of these women. It honestly feels like my best friend wrote a book and now I want everyone in the world to read it because they deserve it!

The content in this book is very expected - it's funny, reflective, and insightful. Do I wish this was more of a memoir and we got to learn more about their lives? Absolutely. But I understand why they went with the "self-help" approach and it feels very in line with their podcast. The stories they did tell about their past made me laugh and cry so many times.

I don't see how you would like this book if you aren't a fan of their podcast or at least know about them... but hey, give My Favorite Murder a listen and if you love it give the book a chance too!

SSDGM.
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If you have listened to the podcast and love it you’ll totally get the vibe of this book. And while Karen and Georgia have shared openly on the podcast the book offers the little bit more you always wanted to truly understand the story.

This book is like a chill out night in with friends listening to them tell the most insane stories with you sitting there going “OMFG, I’m not the only one who did/thought/felt that?!”

It is also full of feminist “you got this” vibes and a strong message that everyone should go to therapy. Because people have done this before so” you got this” and you’ll “got this” better if you go to therapy to understand what’s stopping you from “getting this”. It’s a super supportive, heartwarming, heartbreaking, insightful time with friends.

Much like the podcast it is funny, touching, conversational, and powerful. Karen and Georgia write in distinct, hilarious styles even when speaking about dark or low moments in their lives. The essays are mostly thematically organized with just enough off-the-cuff commentary and styling to be true to the authors themselves. Even though a few thematic chapters seem like their two essays aren't that similar in topic you don't mind the slight shoehorning of a story to fit the chapter because they are just so lovely to read.

Moments and lessons only mentioned on the podcast get deeper dives here - and what really comes through truly is their willingness to be totally open to teach nieces, young women, and even our younger selves about how to navigate this world. Vulnerability gets a lot of mentions and the book speaks to the power of opening yourself up for witness. The community these two women have cultivated is a testament to how important therapy, vulnerability, and being kind to yourself really is. This book is an extension of the podcast bookends, the intro and outro, and I believe many fans (and non-fans) will recognize feelings and thoughts and experiences they share with the authors.

I found myself laughing and then tearing up on the same page often (gotta love a footnote joke). Even though the relationship between these two and the reader is one way you do feel like you're reading the stories of a friend, and their sorrows are yours and their triumphs are as well. The connection they share with each other as well is apparent and powerful. I'm so thankful for Halloween parties.

On a personal note reading everything these two women have been talking about on the podcast for years gathered all in one place is truly inspirational. I'm particularly grateful for Karen speaking about how her therapist asked her to examine her 'inner circle', your 'clutch-five', your close friends. I feel grateful to have my own clutch-five but it reminded me that I needed to put more energy into those relationships and not to take them for granted, or let them be stagnant. I reached out to all of them and it felt really nice to reconnect and just say "You're important to me and I love you".

People unfamiliar with the podcast or these women will probably enjoy the book (if you like feminism and swearing especially) but a lot of the jokes, the titles, and just the general essence will probably fly over their heads. But at its core that's not who the book is for. The book is for the Murderinos who found a connection with these women and with each other not just based on their fascination with true crime but also their willingness to not be perfect, to grow and learn, and their vulnerability and strength in the face of a scary, rough and cynical world.

SSDGM indeed.
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I picked this up even though I'm not really into podcasts, and it turned out to be a fantastic decision. I fell in love with both of the authors (the book is especially poignant in audiobook form) and I am so happy that their voices are out in the world.

This touches a little bit on true crime, but it's primarily a dual memoir between the two hosts. They're so honest about what they've been through and it really makes you feel like you know them.

Their candidness about mental health and their careers, and especially rape culture hit home for me. I was so impressed with their ability to pull true crime out of its following and talk about why we're drawn to it, and what it means on a larger scale.

I would love to revisit this at some point - not only because there are valuable lessons to be taken from the book, but because it really made me feel stronger, even during the sections that had me crying. I love all of the heart that you can feel in this book, and you can tell that Kilgariff and Hardstark won't be slowing down.
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