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Though I've yet to listen to an episode of the podcast "My Favorite Murder" of which Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstock are the creators and hosts, I was pleased to find this pick for my monthly book club still accessible and entertaining to the non-'Murderino.'

While the trajectory of this dual-memoir is perhaps a bit muddled and not always entirely narratively cohesive, there are sections such as "Fuck Politeness" (regarding the socialization of girls and women) that make the book well worth a read. There are some glaring moments of overgeneralization/oversight at times, but kudos to Kilgariff and Hardstock for acknowledging many of these in the memoir, noting how listeners and experts called them out for these problematic slips (such as victim-blaming, links between trauma and victimization or victimizing, etc.). Ultimately, it seemed as though there were 2-3 books crammed into Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered: one as an extension of the podcast itself (how it came to be, the research work, the significance of true-crime 'obsessions' among a largely female readership/listenership), a second as a sort of self-help/personal safety text (a true "how-to guide"), and a third delivered truly as a memoir. The combination of all three elements made the 'structure' of Stay Sexy and Don't Get Murdered muddled and neither quite a dual-memoir or "definitive how-to guide" (as the subtitle suggests). I'm all for subverting genre norms, but it was all a bit difficult to track and follow at times.

Throw in Paul Giamatti (! but why? who knows!) reading sections of the audiobook, and I was certainly entertained, but ultimately still wondering how it all fit together.


Well, these ladies are two of my latest heroes.

I went into this book only baseline familiar with Kilgariff and Hardstark - I knew they hosted the incredibly popular My Favorite Murder podcast, loved the title of this book (which is why it was on my to-read list and I bought it during a Half Price Books trip), and recently "saw" Kilgariff in the "I'll be Gone in the Dark" HBO documentary.

Man, have I truly been missing out. These ladies are funny and smart and vulnerable and just all-around bad ass. Stay Sexy.... is really just both women sharing their vulnerabilities and the life lessons they have learned. While they organize the book around catch phrases/lessons that they've addressed on their podcast, it is 100% not necessary to be familiar with the podcast to understand or enjoy this book.

One thing that I particularly love about both women is how much they advocate for therapy. Because you know what? Therapy is great, and everyone should probably be in therapy, and I think there's still a fair amount of stigma around seeking or going to therapy. So the fact that it's something that they talk about and push so much, and talk about how it's helped them in their own lives is so admirable and fantastic.

They're also really open about the lessons they've learned in their lives, including mistakes they've made. I like that both talk about their upbringings, which were scarring in their own ways (honestly, is there a single person alive who has made it to adulthood without being significantly scarred by something along the way), because it gave great insight into why they made some of the mistakes they did. It was also a great reminder that we all have something. Something that shaped us, hurt us, defined us as we grew. They also talked about figuring out who they were and what they wanted in adulthood, which I also appreciated. I think so many of us reach early adulthood and think we're supposed to have it all figured out and know what we want to do with the rest of our lives, and who or what we want to spend it with. Most of the people I know (myself included) entered into early adulthood one person, and evolved into someone else along the way. The older you get, the more you learn who you are and what you stand for, and are willing to really own and fight for those things. I felt that Kilgariff and Hardstark really did a great job of illustrating that in various ways.

It also feels worth mentioning that, while Kilgariff and Hardstark are known for their true crime podcast, that's not really much of an element in the actual book, aside from them mentioning their mutual love of true crime and how it brought them together. So even if true crime isn't your thang, this book still can be! (I guess I should also mention, though, if you're sensitive to cursing...maybe this one won't be your thang).

So, yeah, this book was pretty great. And I also had to finally go and check out the podcast while reading it, which is just as great as people say it is, and I'm kind of obsessed with it.

In conclusion, some words of wisdom, care of Karen and Georgia: "Get a job. Buy your own shit. Stay out of the forest."

(2019) Karen and Georgia are two of my very favorite storytellers. I couldn’t get over how clever and hilarious Karen’s sections were, or how insane Georgia’s stories were! They give overall great advice, the illustrations are gorgeous, and I thoroughly enjoyed the entire double-memoir.

Disclaimer: explicit language

(2023) I just listened to the audiobook version of this, and it was so, so good. It felt like concise, straightforward storytelling rather than just a memoir read aloud. These women are so endearing.

taradarcy82's review

4.0
fast-paced

I really enjoyed this book. it wasn't what I expected from the title and I loved it in a while different way. kilgariff and hardstark share their story in such open ways that it does feel empowering for the reader to be like "that's exactly how weird/f*cked up I am too!" and feel less alone in the world.

i'm not a podcast person but I think I'll have to start with theirs.

I just didn't care that much about the contents of this book, which was mostly personal stories of the 2 authors growing up. I think if you haven't listened to the podcast, it's not really going to do much for you.

3.4⭐
There’s a wonderful (had me in tears) chapter about Karen’s mom that I loved and other funny moments. But I couldn’t connect with the majority of the book. I’m a huge MFM fan and these women are brilliant. I really wanted to be obsessed with this book.

I picked this because of the title - listened to it as an audiobook. I had never listened to the authors' podcasts and didn't know anything about their work prior to this book. While it started slowly, I really enjoyed the raw vulnerability and honestly of both authors and appreciated their insights. Funny and thought-provoking -- would recommend it.

I don't "do" podcasts, so I picked this up without really knowing what I was getting into. It was an easy listen, and the authors/narrators/hosts of the podcast that spawned this book are really engaging women who seem like they'd be great to chill with. But yeah, the reason I generally stay away from true crime everything is that it correlates too closely to my job, and at some point, that started to bleed into my enjoyment of the audiobook.

funny hopeful inspiring fast-paced