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s4lmaa's review against another edition
5.0
So the thing about My Dark Vanessa is that it makes you feel so much.
While reading this book I found myself constantly being mad at the 15teen years old Vanessa. At the "HOW DUMB IS SHE??" but then I really hated myself. Vanessa was a child. Vanessa had to romanticize her relationship with her 42 years old English teacher to bear the feeling of everything.
I really hated how she was always trying to justify Jacob Strane. It made furious but I could sympathize with her. I mean, at the end of the day she was a child. A manipulated, raped, groomed child.
When I was reading her older self, her 32 and 21 years old self I was confused. I was asking myself "Why does she think like that?", "Why does she villainize other women that went through her same situation?", "She's a grown woman". But Vanessa never came into terms to what happened to her, she couldn't accept that she was groomed by her teacher, and this took me a while to realize.
It's not even about realizing it, it was there. It was something I completely understood. It just took me a while to bring it at the front. But doing it helped me understand and sympathize with her.
When it comes to Strane.
I hate him. I hated how he manipulated everything to work on his side. I hate the things that he did to Vanessa and the other girls. I hate this rapist, manipulator and let's not forget PEDOPHILE. Realizing why he got a vasectomy makes me want to throw up.
Another point. I loved the references and parallelisms between the books and poems. I liked how Lolita was brought into this book. Seeing how Vanessa applied it to her situation. How she saw herself in that book. I say like, because even though it is disgusting, it's real. It's real how a lot of people still romanticize books where pedophilia is treated.
I am really sad that this book ended. I expected another ending but to be honest, this is as realistic as it can be.
I am young. I am aware of the things that happen on the daily. I know that there are millions of Vanessas out there. Women that still justify their groomer, their rapist, their sexual assaulter, their anything. And I really hope that these women get the help that they need and to have the courage to come forward and speak their history.
Last edit 18 of may 2023
While reading this book I found myself constantly being mad at the 15teen years old Vanessa. At the "HOW DUMB IS SHE??" but then I really hated myself. Vanessa was a child. Vanessa had to romanticize her relationship with her 42 years old English teacher to bear the feeling of everything.
I really hated how she was always trying to justify Jacob Strane. It made furious but I could sympathize with her. I mean, at the end of the day she was a child. A manipulated, raped, groomed child.
When I was reading her older self, her 32 and 21 years old self I was confused. I was asking myself "Why does she think like that?", "Why does she villainize other women that went through her same situation?", "She's a grown woman". But Vanessa never came into terms to what happened to her, she couldn't accept that she was groomed by her teacher, and this took me a while to realize.
It's not even about realizing it, it was there. It was something I completely understood. It just took me a while to bring it at the front. But doing it helped me understand and sympathize with her.
When it comes to Strane.
I hate him. I hated how he manipulated everything to work on his side. I hate the things that he did to Vanessa and the other girls. I hate this rapist, manipulator and let's not forget PEDOPHILE. Realizing why he got a vasectomy makes me want to throw up.
Another point. I loved the references and parallelisms between the books and poems. I liked how Lolita was brought into this book. Seeing how Vanessa applied it to her situation. How she saw herself in that book. I say like, because even though it is disgusting, it's real. It's real how a lot of people still romanticize books where pedophilia is treated.
I am really sad that this book ended. I expected another ending but to be honest, this is as realistic as it can be.
I am young. I am aware of the things that happen on the daily. I know that there are millions of Vanessas out there. Women that still justify their groomer, their rapist, their sexual assaulter, their anything. And I really hope that these women get the help that they need and to have the courage to come forward and speak their history.
Last edit 18 of may 2023
mizzbooks_'s review against another edition
5.0
This book was written so well that I had to put it down more than a couple of times to take a deep breath and take in what I’ve read. It was gut wrenching reading the details about Vanessa’s life and this story really makes you understand how being a victim is also thinking you’re the worst person ever. You’re a monster. You’re supposed to like what it’s been done to you. Just shut up and take it. It was also very triggering seeing the horrible abuse through every word that Strane said to Vanessa. I saw someone questioning if he even truly loved her at some point and to me that really means you either don’t understand what you’re reading or you’re also a victim. This book reminded me a little of the book “a little life” for some reason. Maybe it’s because of the sadness it left lingering in me.
juliaxreads's review against another edition
4.0
Great story about grooming. Well written and well executed. Interesting perspective on a topic I didn’t know enough of from the perspective of Vanessa a 15 year old child and what follows after the trauma. Also the society’s failure to protect children in this situation.
thebookgem's review against another edition
5.0
I truly don’t know how to start writing a review for this book. ‘My Dark Vanessa’ follows the life of Vanessa who was a troubled and lonely 15 year old girl, she was singled out by her 42 year old English teacher who groomed her and manipulated her into being emotionally entangled with him. Later on their relationship turns physical, sexual and abusive. Going into this I knew this was going to be a dark book but I did not realize how hard this was actually going to be. It was really hard to see how torturous it was for Vanessa to navigate the whole thing alone JUST at 15, how none of the adults in her life helped her, and how everyone including her parents turned a blind eye to what was happening.
For me it was even harder to watch Vanessa navigating her adult life, how the trauma so deeply affected her that it was ALL she knew, that she did not know who she was without it. Even when she was 30 she was still that traumatized 15 years old. How even when strane tries to break up with her she still kept going back because she did not know anything else. How when she did not get the same attention from strane she tried to find that with someone new. How she always looked for validation from someone else, how it all so deeply affected her. This was a very hard read like every line made me question everything; every time something happened I would be like ‘oh, it can not get any worse’ and it somehow continued to get worse. I highly recommend reading this book to everyone however please make sure you are in a stable mental space before reading this.
For me it was even harder to watch Vanessa navigating her adult life, how the trauma so deeply affected her that it was ALL she knew, that she did not know who she was without it. Even when she was 30 she was still that traumatized 15 years old. How even when strane tries to break up with her she still kept going back because she did not know anything else. How when she did not get the same attention from strane she tried to find that with someone new. How she always looked for validation from someone else, how it all so deeply affected her. This was a very hard read like every line made me question everything; every time something happened I would be like ‘oh, it can not get any worse’ and it somehow continued to get worse. I highly recommend reading this book to everyone however please make sure you are in a stable mental space before reading this.
cfischer15's review against another edition
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
coolhoee's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Asks the readers interesting questions about survival, abuse, and the act of confession. Can you save others from harm without saving yourself first? Why do we demand perfect victims?
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Sexual content, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Pedophilia, Toxic relationship, and Rape
bellareads213's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated