Reviews with content warning for Sexual content - Meine dunkle Vanessa

I read this fresh off the heels of Know My Name by Chanel Miller, so it was a very interesting contrast. I know one was a memoir and one was inspired-by-true-events fiction, but My Dark Vanessa still felt very close to reality. I read the afterword where feedback from the author's early readers said Vanessa was an unlikable and incomprehensible character, and I do agree. As someone who has not experienced anything like this, it was very difficult to understand why Vanessa thought and did the things she did, as a victim who desperately refused to think of herself as a victim, or of what happened to her as abuse and grooming. I didn't like her or understand her, but I appreciate the different viewpoint Russell has offered us, because I'm sure there are plenty of people who have gone through similar trauma for whom this rings true.

Tangentially (concerning the afterword again), I found it really odd that Russell's early readers encouraged her to write from Strane's perspective instead of Vanessa's, given her unlikability and the inability to relate to her; were they suggesting we should relate/want to relate to the predator instead?? That's a troubling thought. I've never read it before, but if you want something like that, may as well read Lolita or any other number of book that I'm sure exists with this perspective. I applaud Russell for unapologetically sticking to Vanessa's perspective for her book.

I'm not sure I can say I really enjoyed this book, given that I didn't like any of the characters, it felt like reading a 17 year long train wreck get worse and worse, and the outcome at the end of it all was disappointing. But honestly, this is what roots the book in uncomfortable reality.

Strane offing himself, the school concluding the investigation on Strane and carrying on as normal, and Vanessa still struggling to come to terms with everything that has happened to her

are all things that are incredibly disappointing, frustrating, and heartbreaking, but it's what absolutely happens in real life. Brock Turner was sentenced to six months' incarceration, served only half that.

Strane killed himself because he was a coward who would not face up to the fact that he groomed and raped a 15 year old (and in fact justified it over and over to himself and Vanessa to the point where they both believed it), and never faced any formal consequences for his heinous actions.

Life imitates art indeed.

I think the author achieved what she set out to do. It might not have 100% been my cup of tea, but I admire the approach she took. It was different, difficult, and full of uncomfortable feelings in a way I thought felt realistic. Vanessa is complicated, she has a wealth of complex and painful emotions towards everyone in her life including herself, which I think reflects very well how terribly the abuse really affected her. She's not necessarily incomprehensible, she's fucking traumatised, and she's built a narrative around the abuse that she can accept so she can cope with the scale of it.

Special shoutout to Ruby the therapist, doing the hard yards trying to dig Vanessa out of the emotional hellscape she was buried in, and attempting to get her to understand what she experienced. Saving lives out there.

Content Warnings

addimusser's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

When I first started My Dark Vanessa, I was totally enraptured right from the start. Such a beautiful yet dark tale. It seriously took my heart and stomped on it. I went through SO MANY emotions.

I cried, laughed, screamed, slammed my book shut just to reopen it and continue, and then felt like I was left feeling so numb yet alive. Forever loving this book.

Forever.

Content Warnings

nina_mk's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

Content Warnings

eusteph's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

There's a lot that I could say about this book, but I fear most of it relates to my personal life and how it connects to it. Seeing as this isn't my diary, I will spare you all that.

The writing in this book had me hooked from the first page. Although the subject matter is definitely dark, no pun intended, this is the kind of book that one could easily read in a single sitting. The only reason I didn't is because life got in the way.

It was very interesting to see things from the perspective of a victim of abuse who uses coping mechanisms such as Vanessa's. I feel like most of the time, when we get to hear the victim's side in fictional pieces dealing with this subject, the victim is presented in a totally different way.

I can understand why this book is a favorite to many, but I personally don't think it's the kind of book most can re-read.

Content Warnings

hannacolm's review against another edition

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challenging dark

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? No

4.0

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