Only a truly masterfully written book could make me want to slap and shake the characters so hard to wake them out of their self-delusions, and yet still want to read it to the end. Russell managed to capture what it felt like to be 15 and sexualised, wanting love but not sure what that looks like, thinking you know it all and able to power through more than you can actually handle. It made me understand all the points of failure in a system, try and think what I would have done differently if I were Vanessa's friend, another teacher, or her parent.

I think it was painfully obvious the amount of self-delusion, romanticisation, and naivety that led to Vanessa's mis-interpretation of events, but I'm so glad that her therapist is able to pin them down and communicate with her to get her to see these events as what they really are; I also understand that Vanessa is only able to accept these truths when she is ready (she's been groomed and manipulated so long that she ends up manipulating herself so that she doesn't have to think too hard about anything that doesn't line up with her love story narrative).

Content Warnings

_david_'s review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

The book tells its story in such a beautiful way. It's about a adult-minor relationship from the point of view of the minor (now grown up). The characters all feel like real people.

I've never before found such a good story which shows why to the grooming victim, it doesn't seem like an unbalanced relationship any more than if they were both adult. As an adult it is very easy to understand why grooming is disgusting, but this book uses its point of view to show how teenagers may experience it. More importantly, how careful you need to be with talking to a victim.

I really am thankful how the author made the sex scenes feel off, eventhough it wasn't necessary for the story itself. I would feel disgusted if instead I would read about a teenager having sex with an adult and enjoying it fully.

I could talk about this book for days, it's just so good. My only confusion at first was why the narrator didn't realise that the groomer was being manipulative, eventhough flashbacks revealed that she already had doubts in the moments themselves. However, this was explained by two moments. The first

was when she realised she never put it all in a neat chronological order, but only remembered snippets at a time

and even more strong, the moment she voiced the concern which is my favourite quote from the book:

"If it isn't a love story, then what is it?"

Content Warnings