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BRAD 🌶️🌶️
Graphic: Sexual content
Other than those two stand out issues, I quite liked the book - but it was more of a
It’s a weird one. I liked the book, the writing kept me engage - just upon reflection after reading, I felt it was full of stupid little details that either were A) not needed or B) totally absent.
Graphic: Sexual content
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Sexual assault
Minor: Cancer, Vomit
“I don't want just a night or a week or a month with you. I want you all the time. I like you better than calculus, and math is the only thing that unites the universe.” - Helen Hoang.
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Ableism, Cancer, Infidelity, Sexual assault, Death of parent, Abandonment
Minor: Addiction
while they did seem to fall in love unbelievably quickly (pretty sure the timeline is only a month or two 😅), the development of their relationship was believable— the initial awkwardness & guardedness when getting to know each other, noticing & remembering small details about one another over time, vulnerability when opening up and sharing more personal info (everything but their one huge secret of course hah), and growing more attuned to each other’s physical & emotional needs (spice level is pretty tame 🌶️, more dirty talking if anything). the alternating povs also brought realness to the otherwise bizarre circumstances of their love story by allowing glimpses into their mutual tenderness & affection (both spoken & unspoken, when together & apart) but also their respective deep-seated insecurities that they were trying to hide for fear of the stigma ruining the favorable impressions they have of each other and risking losing one another (the one person who seems too good to be true but can’t let go of… 😢)
even though Stella feels immense shame for being autistic and dislikes how it makes her different, Michael always uses the term “different” to describe her affectionately. even before he knew about her autism, he often caught himself finding the behaviors she was most self-conscious of endearing— her strict routines, fabric sensitivity, engrossed ramblings about econometrics, nervous finger-tapping. in turn, his non-judgmental attitude & steady patience enabled her to focus less on her unease and more on articulating her preferences and genuinely bonding with him. perhaps it’s because he grew up with his cousin Khai who’s also autistic, Michael instinctively knew how to make Stella feel comfortable in any new situation: gently asking her for what she needs, always reassuring her he doesn’t mind accommodating her and truly meaning it, and even expanding her comfort zone gradually & respectfully without overstepping her boundaries (though did want to tell him to calm down when he started to get wilder & bolder with her at his mom’s house & laundromat lol 🤦🏻♀️ but hey it takes two to tango and she gladly matched his energy 🤷🏻♀️). meanwhile Stella’s pov insightfully captures the thought patterns & challenges neurodiverse individual face and tbh her anxieties regarding overstimulation, social etiquette, and any & all social situations are all so painfully relatable 😣. made me realize how high-functioning she is and wish she had a better support system in place before meeting Michael, like a few genuine best friends or at least more attentive parents. in the few occasions when things do go awry, Stella never wallows too long and always goes out of her way to make things right— like when she went alone to apologize to Michael’s mom for her insensitive comments & prying questions during her first visit to their house without any expectation of Michael forgiving her (her crying all night because this was the first time in her life she made someone cry, then repeatedly rehearsing her apology as she waited for the laundromat to open first thing in the morning to meet his mother 😢) and when she publicly defended Michael at the benefit dinner by explaining his career hiatus was to take care of his terminally ill mother even when he himself chose to kept quiet (why should he have bothered when they were being so condescending to him from the start?)
while the practice relationship was mainly meant to help Stella, it was just as much of a practice for Michael. before Stella, he never had a semblance of a serious relationship, with his family situation warping his sense of romance. but once he lets her into his real life - the one he intentionally keeps separate from his clients & vice versa, he feels seen in a way he’s never felt seen before and pulls her deeper into the fold: his daytime job tailoring at his mom’s laundromat, his rambunctious household overrun by women (dude has 5 younger sisters plus his mother & grandmother 😧! practically raised in a boot camp on how to treat women right lmao 😂), his abandoned fashion designer dream that he finally has the courage to speak aloud about. Stella’s honesty, sincere interest, and faith in him plants a seed of hope that he can become the person he longs to be, that maybe it isn’t inevitable for him to turn out like his despicable father. but what constantly sets him back is his low self-esteem and closing himself off to his loved ones. he distances himself from Stella because he deems himself not worthy of her due to his profession, lower socioeconomic status, & his father’s actions without giving her the chance to decide for herself if those things matter to their relationship. shouldering his mom’s medical bills & staying behind at the laundromat for her when she doesn’t want him to self-sacrifice and waste his potential. unlike Stella, Michael has a solid support system and doesn’t realize he can lean on his family who always has his back. i delight in every time they tease him when his affection & attachment to Stella is written all over his face or when he becomes miserable & pines after her. i particularly enjoy every time he tells himself he’s screwed after coming out of a daze sending heart eyes at her hahah 🤭 .
even though everyone sees the love is real & reciprocated (i mean cmon. a someone who’s fabric-sensitive with a person who designs clothes. could there be a match any more perfect?), the looming expiration date & the original agreed-upon conditions make them reluctant to confess. Stella promised she wouldn’t become obsessed after it was all over and is convinced he doesn’t want her anyway because of her self-perceived flaws; Michael promised to prepare her for her future partner, someone better than him. yet as they continue down this path of inevitable heartbreak, they can’t find it in themselves to probe each other’s true feelings and risk shattering the illusion of the perfect fake relationship they’ve built. so they make the best of it until Michael’s past comes to sabotage their bliss. fortunately, Michael has the best meddling family members: his ride-or die cousin Quan (much respect for keeping Stella’s secret), his teasing sisters (especially Janie for reaching out to Stella), and his mother to snap him out of his self-misery and get him to face his feelings head-on. although way out of the realms of my imagination, the things Stella quietly did for Michael just so he could live a better life even if it was without her proved how deeply she loves him— helping Janie find an internship and donating her $15mil trust fund to provide full aid for not only Michael’s mom’s medical bills but also other families at the same hospital 🤯.
the greatest unnecessary dragged out suspense was Michael’s father being a womanizing criminal, targeting rich women and swindling their money. and the audacity & hypocrisy to verbally abuse Michael saying he only has a pretty face and would amount to nothing?! throughout all this, he bumps into his stalker ex-client Aliza twice, both times with Stella present. for his sake & safety, wish he’d set clearer boundaries bc Aliza was touching him inappropriately without his consent. as if that wasn’t enough, her behavior at the benefit dinner, saying those shameless things in front of Stella’s parents, was just an absolute nightmare 🤢. and how i am so relieved Stella did not listen to her parents and settle for that entitled narcissistic prick coworker Phillip. in this case, the apple indeed did not fall far from the tree, bc exactly like his mother Aliza, everything about him gave me the ick. the only thing he did right was lead Stella to Michael lol 😂.
Moderate: Sexual content, Abandonment
Minor: Cancer, Emotional abuse, Stalking
Graphic: Cancer, Sexual content, Abandonment
Moderate: Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders
Minor: Violence
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content
Moderate: Cursing, Toxic friendship, Sexual harassment
Minor: Infidelity, Rape, Classism
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Cancer, Panic attacks/disorders
Graphic: Ableism, Sexual content
Moderate: Medical content
Graphic: Sexual content, Sexual harassment
Moderate: Medical content