Reviews tagging 'Bullying'

Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates

49 reviews

alexbalmer's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative inspiring tense medium-paced

4.5

This was a hard read. Not because of the writing style or even the length of the book itself (just shy of 350 pages 🤷‍♀️) but just the topic in general was constantly jarring. I had to just stop and close the book on multiple occasions and rethink many encounters with men in the past…

It’s something I was aware of throughout recent years, terms like “incel” and “manosphere” have popped up in memes/tiktoks but the size of the groups mentioned and the real life examples threw me off. To see how many mass shootings and other heinous crimes can be directly linked back to the ideology of these groups is shocking, saying how little you hear the word misogyny used in a serious, non-mocking way in the media. (Usually paired with jabs at “feminazis” and groups that are trying to HELP MEN😒)

STRONGLY encourage anyone who spends a decent amount of their lives online (and on any form of social media) to read this. Even if you’re a bit older and feel like you have a grasp on how to interpret content/news/facts online.  

One thing that I will say (not necessarily a complaint or a mistake) but when checking the Notes at the back of the book for references on certain facts a lot of the time it would be news articles. Nothing really wrong with that except that throughout the book it is said how the media is quick to jump to conclusions when they haven’t done much research. I’m guessing Bates has looked into each sources thoroughly. Maybe it’s my own preconceptions that make me pause before referencing Channel 4 in a debate?

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Death, Misogyny, Homophobia, Gun violence, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, and Hate crime

Moderate: Body shaming and Fatphobia

Minor: Islamophobia, Adult/minor relationship, and Biphobia

cararainx's review

dark informative sad tense slow-paced

4.75

While this is a hard read, it may also be a necessary one. The author takes you on a journey of the internet cesspool and leaves you feeling uncomfortable. At times I wished I was reading fiction as I couldn't believe some of the things that were said in the groups she was writing about.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Murder, Rape, Homophobia, and Gaslighting

mindintheskies's review

challenging informative reflective tense medium-paced

5.0

There's so much detail in this book that I didn't expect. I was triggered by a lot of the statistics and real, lived stories that were shared of women suffering at the hands of incels and incel-sympathisers. I guess that's the reason why it's taken me 4 months to get through it all. The book doesn't only cover examples on women, but marginalised communities, Muslim men and women and others. In fact there's a respectable amount of focus on Islamophobia and the discrepancy in media reporting of crimes committed by incels, and crimes committed by people belonging to the Muslim community. The book is on extreme communities of misogynists and repeatedly states that the vast majority of men don't hate women, without denying the fact that a large group of men who do hate women exist and are spreading that hate through online grooming, interactions, in institutions, the media and police covering up crimes, and so many other platforms e.g. YouTube on a daily basis. It's so scary that people actually believe women are subjects of hatred, especially when it comes from young people. It's given me a lot of knowledge and understanding of how these incel communities are set up, run and how they survive. The book also covers a chapter on men who hate men who hate women which I found really interesting. As expected there are a lot of examples that I've either experienced myself or know someone who has gone through the extreme examples mentioned in the book, so it gives me a sense of validation and acceptance that it's a reality that women live in this world, and that there's the awareness of it through this book and other resources similar. I have also listened to parts of the audiobook and listened to the interview at the end, which was very insightful.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Classism, Sexual assault, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Sexism, Xenophobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Sexual harassment, Sexual content, Stalking, Violence, Police brutality, Racial slurs, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Hate crime, Islamophobia, Murder, Misogyny, Pandemic/Epidemic, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Grief, Racism, and Rape

allyjshand's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

5.0

READ THIS. Such an important book.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Racism, Hate crime, Injury/Injury detail, Murder, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Domestic abuse, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Rape, Sexism, Gaslighting, Sexual violence, Violence, Mass/school shootings, and Physical abuse

notthatcosta's review against another edition

dark sad tense slow-paced

2.5

I tend to struggle with books that were written by journalists, because I find that their storytelling skills are lacking when it comes to creating a whole book. Even though Laura Bates is not a journalist, Men Who Hate Women falls foul of similar traps that I've seen previously in non fiction books of this type.

Most of the chapters feel unnecessarily padded out, often with repetition of previous points made that don't serve to create a cohesive narrative thread. Even in more successful chapters like 'Men Who Don't Know They Hate Women', half way through it veers off into a tangent about the 2016 election. 

I understand that the topic at hand is very broad, complex and wide reaching, but the lack of focus makes it frustrating to read beyond the frustrating subject matter. With better and tighter editing I think this could have been a great book, but it ends up feeling like an unfocussed and cluttered collection of ideas and case studies with some paraphrased 4Chan posts sprinkled in. 

I probably would have preferred it if the book just centred on what Laura Bates heard during her school visits and talks, rather than the need to try and summarise what she read on manosphere forums.

 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Antisemitism, Gaslighting, Sexual violence, Bullying, Gun violence, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Transphobia, Body shaming, Sexism, Hate crime, Homophobia, Rape, Cursing, Death, Slavery, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Child death, Islamophobia, Mass/school shootings, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Violence, and Xenophobia

znvisser's review

dark informative slow-paced

2.5

This is an important book and the author did the research to provide insight in the addressed problems - and eventually an attempt at solutions as well. Even though I knew about most of these communities, this book still provided me some new insights. That being said, I had a hard time plowing through it and wouldn't have finished it this soon (or maybe at all) if it weren't for the January daily reading challenge. To me this information would have been presented more effectively as a series of journalistic articles, as in its current form it became repetitive quickly and felt too preachy to the choir to have a real impact. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Misogyny, Rape, Sexism, Stalking, Bullying, Mass/school shootings, Hate crime, and Murder

Moderate: Transphobia, Antisemitism, Homophobia, Islamophobia, Lesbophobia, Racism, Sexual harassment, Xenophobia, and Sexual assault

th18's review

emotional hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

Amazing book and incredibly eye opening. Hard to read sometimes because of the emotions I felt but I think this is a book that everyone should read atleast once, especially men. Highlighting these issues hat we as women and half of the population face is extremely difficult but I feel that Laura did an amazing job. I've definitely been motivated to spread this information to others and do my best to educate men around me in order to prevent as much as possible their becoming of incels. I cannot stress enough how educational this book has been. Will definitely reread.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Sexual violence, Rape, Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual harassment, and Violence

Minor: Emotional abuse, Islamophobia, Suicide, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Religious bigotry, Toxic relationship, Eating disorder, Gun violence, Hate crime, Bullying, Mental illness, Mass/school shootings, Pedophilia, Death, and Racism

kymzii's review

informative slow-paced

3.75

This is essential reading for everyone as the subject matter is important. However, I didn't find this very easy to read. It felt at times like a list of facts, rather than a story woven together to illustrate facts and opinions. 

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Content Warnings

Minor: Stalking, Murder, Racism, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Hate crime, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Trafficking, Violence, Abortion, Body shaming, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Mass/school shootings, Rape, and Sexism

mads_jpg's review against another edition

challenging dark hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

4.75

An absolutely terrifying but necessary read, I thought I was well-versed on incel culture and shitty pickup artists but I was so wrong. This rabbit hole goes deep and it's horrifying to think how many people fall for it.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Bullying, Cursing, Misogyny, Sexism, and Sexual harassment

Moderate: Domestic abuse, Hate crime, Islamophobia, Mass/school shootings, Murder, Rape, Stalking, and Gun violence

janeywaneyb's review against another edition

challenging informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

"We can't tackle a problem if people don't even know it exists. And, once we do know, we all have a responsibility to answer a simple question: what are we going to do about it?" Laura Bates ( Pg. 342)

I have had my eyes thoroughly slapped open by this book and the spread of violent misogyny into our daily lives by the Manosphere, politicians, journalists,  celebrities and others of influence through so many means that our Young people accept the ideology as a norm. This is a powerful book that offers such clarity on issues we should all be aware of and how the minority are influencing the majority filling our society with a hate rhetoric. Before starting this book I thought I knew something of incels and misogyny, nope! I knew nothing, I had no idea how deep rooted the issue is and how it is secreted into main stream politics, journalism and media to become a "norm". Bates has researched her book so thoroughly with no stone left unturned and she is shining a bright spot light that we must all look at NOW! 

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Sexism, Sexual harassment, Hate crime, Antisemitism, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Religious bigotry, Racism, Misogyny, Domestic abuse, and Bullying