Reviews

The Diary of Vaslav Nijinsky by Kyril FitzLyon, Joan Acocella, Vaslav Nijinsky

lookhome's review

4.0

I am Nijinksy. I am god. I am good. I no longer want to be bad. I love my wife. I do not like money. I do need money. I will make money on the Stock Exchange. People will think I am mad....

The diary, in one way or another, minus beautiful insights into the human condition, details Nijinsky at odds with himself, as an artist, as a dancer, as a husband, as a man, and most importantly as a human being.
I read this because it was discussed at length in Colin Wilson's The Outsider.
It didn't disappoint though it does have an unhinged type of logic to it. I read an old long panther edition that doesn't exist on Goodreads so I'm not sure how much of the 'juicy stuff' Romola edited out as oppose to the unexpurgated edition.

I think little therefore understand everything (20)

Life is not poverty. Poverty is not life. I want life. I want love. (26)

My madness is my love towards mankind (27)

I am a man in a million. I am not alone because I feel more than a million others. (34)

I do not want thought, I want wisdom (41)

I am not afraid of anything except the death of wisdom (42)

A man who bases everything on feeling is not horrible. (42)

I can write in a trance, that trance is called wisdom (44)

I looked at a star, which did not say good evening to me. It did not twinkle at me. I got frightened and wanted to run. (47)

I do not want the laws of man, they are invented (46)

I went one and came to a tree. The tree told me one could not talk here, because human beings do not understand feeling. I went on. I was sorry to part with the tree because the tree understood me. (45)

I was on the edge of a precipice. I thanked the tree. It felt me because I caught hold of it; it received my warmth and I received the warmth of the tree. (48)

Mankind makes merry and God mourns (49)

I would be understood much better, if I played the part of a man the same as others. I have not long to live and therefore want quickly to fulfil my tasks which are the tasks of God. I do not pretend, I am the truth (52)

I am a madman with sense and my nerves are trained. (56)

I am a clown of God. (85)

I am God. You are a woman like all others. I am a man like all others, but I work harder than the others.I know more than all the others. You will understand me later, because everyone will say Nijinsky is like God. You will believe it.(86)


Death
I was told I was mad. I thought I was alive but wasn't given any peace. I lived and was glad but people said I was wicked. (107)

I write about philosophy but I am not a philosopher. I do not like philosophy because it is a whim for spoiled people. (108)

Men waste so much. They think that the more one has the happier one is, but the fewer possessions one has, the more peaceful and happy one feels. (122)

People who are afraid are usually good people (123)
'.People will copy me but imitation is not life, it is death. (127)

I am life. The theatre is not life....The Theatre becomes a habit, life does not... I have come to the conclusion that it is better to be silent than to speak (180)

I do not want to think. Thinking is death (184)

rileymay's review

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

4.5

simply written but beautifully felt

ahse1dances's review

challenging dark emotional sad tense slow-paced

3.0

Includes a lot of disturbing topics since Nijinsky went through a lot. Not for the light of heart

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual content, Domestic abuse, and Mental illness

nijinsky's review

like..........how do you even rate this...........my poor boy.

will say that "man to man" nearly made me cry