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leahreadsalot's review against another edition
4.0
Usually, I'm a non-fiction HATER. However, I like this book because...I agree with it.
eososray's review against another edition
3.0
I like the concept of this book, that we have gone too far in trying to absolve people of responsibility. But I am not sure how accurate it is, or maybe because it is very US based, maybe I am not seeing this in its natural habitat.
The school system is discussed first, mentioning that the obsession with self esteem, that everyone is a winner and eliminating any possible triggers is making a nation of children with no concept of how to survive in the real world. There was some pretty heavy 'America is Great' rhetoric in this section that made me laugh and roll my eyes all at the same time.
The catholic church is the next example, in regards to the sexual misconduct of the priests in the 20th century. The concept is that the catholic church bought in wholesale to the idea that this was a disease that could be cured instead of a crime and sent their priests to be rehabilitated. I have an issue with this idea as I think the church would have protected their own no matter what. This was not a societal failing that the church adopted in ignorance, it was a convenient way to cover up an issue. The catholic church has a long history of this, it cannot be blamed on psychology.
Up next is addiction and how we spend so much time trying to blame our upbringing, our emotions, or our brain that we have stopped taking personal responsibility for the choices we make. This one makes a lot of sense to me so far, I do think we have in general started to deflect responsibility for what we do in a lot of areas. Not my fault that you were insulted, that my marriage broke up, that I can't lose weight, that I stole, that I can't keep a job.....
There are additional discussions about cancer and the support groups that may or may not be helpful; about veterans, specifically from Vietnam and whether our view of them has been permanently tainted by assuming they were all traumatized; and about 9/11 where we assumed there would be mass trauma that required therapy.
The book speaks to how we are losing our ability to be resilient by classifying everything as trauma that requires counseling. That maybe not everyone and not every situation will be helped by this idea and we need to move toward taking responsibility for our own actions, emotions and healing. That maybe these situations are a way to grow and learn, instead of fall apart. Not in invalidate the experiences of those that do need help but also not to think that everyone must get in touch with their feelings to survive.
The school system is discussed first, mentioning that the obsession with self esteem, that everyone is a winner and eliminating any possible triggers is making a nation of children with no concept of how to survive in the real world. There was some pretty heavy 'America is Great' rhetoric in this section that made me laugh and roll my eyes all at the same time.
The catholic church is the next example, in regards to the sexual misconduct of the priests in the 20th century. The concept is that the catholic church bought in wholesale to the idea that this was a disease that could be cured instead of a crime and sent their priests to be rehabilitated. I have an issue with this idea as I think the church would have protected their own no matter what. This was not a societal failing that the church adopted in ignorance, it was a convenient way to cover up an issue. The catholic church has a long history of this, it cannot be blamed on psychology.
Up next is addiction and how we spend so much time trying to blame our upbringing, our emotions, or our brain that we have stopped taking personal responsibility for the choices we make. This one makes a lot of sense to me so far, I do think we have in general started to deflect responsibility for what we do in a lot of areas. Not my fault that you were insulted, that my marriage broke up, that I can't lose weight, that I stole, that I can't keep a job.....
There are additional discussions about cancer and the support groups that may or may not be helpful; about veterans, specifically from Vietnam and whether our view of them has been permanently tainted by assuming they were all traumatized; and about 9/11 where we assumed there would be mass trauma that required therapy.
The book speaks to how we are losing our ability to be resilient by classifying everything as trauma that requires counseling. That maybe not everyone and not every situation will be helped by this idea and we need to move toward taking responsibility for our own actions, emotions and healing. That maybe these situations are a way to grow and learn, instead of fall apart. Not in invalidate the experiences of those that do need help but also not to think that everyone must get in touch with their feelings to survive.
trish204's review against another edition
5.0
Sheesh! I’ve been trying to find the punchline to this joke but apparently, this is all serious. All too serious.
Did you like to play tag as a kid? Well, then something is wrong with you! Best go see a therapist. Or better yet: let him/her put you on heavy medication. Because you can’t be trusted. You’re emotionally disturbed and not sensitive enough. Sadly, this is also no joke.
Then there are „experts“ that say children need special protection. If we were to talk sexual predators, I’d wholeheartedly agree. Unfortunately, we are talking about games such as dodge ball or tag as they are „too competitive“ or „too violent“ (correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve never seen a kid dying from dodge ball) and put children under a lot of stress.
Instead of regarding such games as what they are - exercise to blow off steam after sitting in a classroom for a long time - a war is waged for „the soul of our children“ and apparently the souls need coddling because real life isn’t stressful or competitive and nobody’s feelings ever get hurt so we don’t need to prepare for it or learn how to cope.
Apparently, there is a very big interest in telling people that there is something fundamentally wrong with them, psychologically. That they are frail, too frail to handle anything without therapy and drugs.
Personally, I think this is as stupid and disgusting as telling women (or men!) they need plastic surgery to look better.
It was a joke here in Germany when I grew up that Americans were constantly seeing therapists, even just over having written the grocery list wrong. I’m scared to see the trend spreading across the world in the meantime.
And yes, you guessed it, the people saying you need therapy and/or drugs are the same people you’re gonna pay for the therapy and/or drugs.
The industry (for that is what it is) is getting stronger and better organized, too. They start with children, changing the way children are taught, sowing doubt into the minds of their parents so the children hear nothing but this one narrative. This trend continues throughout our lives; we’re told we need professional help because otherwise we won’t be able to cope with anything.
This is not to say that going to a therapist is wrong and that nobody ever needs one. There are real psychological illnesses, of course, that indeed require treatment.
However, I, along with the authors who penned this book, am against the notion that we cannot deal with anything without therapists. Grieving, for example, is a natural process, painful but also vital. And every person grieves differently. Some cry, others don’t; some need to talk about a trauma while others prefer to stay silent. All of which is OK.
Moreover, there is a point to be made about therapy often actually being self-absorption amplified and signed off on by a doctor. Not to mention all the meds people get prescribed that nobody actually needs (we’re talking about really harmful chemicals - again, with the exception of actually sick people).
You can see an example right now: Corona has quarantined many people and most of the rest of us are not supposed to have contact with one another. While it isn’t ideal, it could also be over fairly quickly if everyone adhered to the rules. And it’s not the end of the world if we’re being entirely honest. Yes, I’d also like to go hiking in the beautiful sunshine instead of staying in the house (in fact, I’m still allowed to do that if I stay away from people). We’re NOT victims of horrible circumstances. The situation might not be ideal, but it’s far from being in insurmountable catastrophe (I’m talking about the situation of not being supposed to going to parties, not the death toll by the way). We have more entertainment at our disposal than anyone else in the history of mankind. Books (print, ebooks, audiobooks), games, music, movies, TV shows … we have so many things available at a click that we don’t even know what to do first! Even if you live in a tiny apartment instead of a house with a garden, it is more than survivable.
But what do I see and hear online and on official news or in government officials’ speeches even? That this is the greatest challenge since WW2 and that therapists need to be there for people in these dark and horrible times. *snorts* Give me a break!
I think it’s all a self-created problem as people seem to LIKE being victims (because they then get pity or whatever). It might even be a new form of addiction.
Simultaneously, I see it especially here in Europe that there is next to no self-reliance whatsoever anymore. Almost everyone constantly looks to someone else to make decisions and handle matters and people angrily demand being told what to do even. As if we were sheep.
All this is to say that we are not incapable of making our own decisions - the problem is that we then also have to take responsibility. I think that is the problem. It’s so much easier and more comfortable to hand it all over to somebody else. I’ll NEVER get on board of that way of thinking or even only understand why people like this.
The biggest problem is that it’s actually spreading. Just like a virus. It hinders progress, invention and thus causes humanity to not evolve any further. It starts with our children. Stop shoving completely unnecessary and very harmful chemicals down their throats. Go outside. Play tag with them. Or dodge ball. It won’t kill them and it won’t turn them into monsters.
P.S.: Yes, this was more of a rant than a review, but the book greatly showed proof of everything I said above - and more (except they didn’t use Covid-19 as an example). The writing style is great and the research sound so I definitely recommend this to anyone sick of participation awards and being told to take this or that pill to see the rainbow.
Did you like to play tag as a kid? Well, then something is wrong with you! Best go see a therapist. Or better yet: let him/her put you on heavy medication. Because you can’t be trusted. You’re emotionally disturbed and not sensitive enough. Sadly, this is also no joke.
Then there are „experts“ that say children need special protection. If we were to talk sexual predators, I’d wholeheartedly agree. Unfortunately, we are talking about games such as dodge ball or tag as they are „too competitive“ or „too violent“ (correct me if I’m wrong but I’ve never seen a kid dying from dodge ball) and put children under a lot of stress.
Instead of regarding such games as what they are - exercise to blow off steam after sitting in a classroom for a long time - a war is waged for „the soul of our children“ and apparently the souls need coddling because real life isn’t stressful or competitive and nobody’s feelings ever get hurt so we don’t need to prepare for it or learn how to cope.
Apparently, there is a very big interest in telling people that there is something fundamentally wrong with them, psychologically. That they are frail, too frail to handle anything without therapy and drugs.
Personally, I think this is as stupid and disgusting as telling women (or men!) they need plastic surgery to look better.
It was a joke here in Germany when I grew up that Americans were constantly seeing therapists, even just over having written the grocery list wrong. I’m scared to see the trend spreading across the world in the meantime.
And yes, you guessed it, the people saying you need therapy and/or drugs are the same people you’re gonna pay for the therapy and/or drugs.
The industry (for that is what it is) is getting stronger and better organized, too. They start with children, changing the way children are taught, sowing doubt into the minds of their parents so the children hear nothing but this one narrative. This trend continues throughout our lives; we’re told we need professional help because otherwise we won’t be able to cope with anything.
This is not to say that going to a therapist is wrong and that nobody ever needs one. There are real psychological illnesses, of course, that indeed require treatment.
However, I, along with the authors who penned this book, am against the notion that we cannot deal with anything without therapists. Grieving, for example, is a natural process, painful but also vital. And every person grieves differently. Some cry, others don’t; some need to talk about a trauma while others prefer to stay silent. All of which is OK.
Moreover, there is a point to be made about therapy often actually being self-absorption amplified and signed off on by a doctor. Not to mention all the meds people get prescribed that nobody actually needs (we’re talking about really harmful chemicals - again, with the exception of actually sick people).
You can see an example right now: Corona has quarantined many people and most of the rest of us are not supposed to have contact with one another. While it isn’t ideal, it could also be over fairly quickly if everyone adhered to the rules. And it’s not the end of the world if we’re being entirely honest. Yes, I’d also like to go hiking in the beautiful sunshine instead of staying in the house (in fact, I’m still allowed to do that if I stay away from people). We’re NOT victims of horrible circumstances. The situation might not be ideal, but it’s far from being in insurmountable catastrophe (I’m talking about the situation of not being supposed to going to parties, not the death toll by the way). We have more entertainment at our disposal than anyone else in the history of mankind. Books (print, ebooks, audiobooks), games, music, movies, TV shows … we have so many things available at a click that we don’t even know what to do first! Even if you live in a tiny apartment instead of a house with a garden, it is more than survivable.
But what do I see and hear online and on official news or in government officials’ speeches even? That this is the greatest challenge since WW2 and that therapists need to be there for people in these dark and horrible times. *snorts* Give me a break!
I think it’s all a self-created problem as people seem to LIKE being victims (because they then get pity or whatever). It might even be a new form of addiction.
Simultaneously, I see it especially here in Europe that there is next to no self-reliance whatsoever anymore. Almost everyone constantly looks to someone else to make decisions and handle matters and people angrily demand being told what to do even. As if we were sheep.
All this is to say that we are not incapable of making our own decisions - the problem is that we then also have to take responsibility. I think that is the problem. It’s so much easier and more comfortable to hand it all over to somebody else. I’ll NEVER get on board of that way of thinking or even only understand why people like this.
The biggest problem is that it’s actually spreading. Just like a virus. It hinders progress, invention and thus causes humanity to not evolve any further. It starts with our children. Stop shoving completely unnecessary and very harmful chemicals down their throats. Go outside. Play tag with them. Or dodge ball. It won’t kill them and it won’t turn them into monsters.
P.S.: Yes, this was more of a rant than a review, but the book greatly showed proof of everything I said above - and more (except they didn’t use Covid-19 as an example). The writing style is great and the research sound so I definitely recommend this to anyone sick of participation awards and being told to take this or that pill to see the rainbow.
mavenbooks's review against another edition
3.0
An interesting book at how incorrect ideas about psychology have negatively affected Americans. The book was a bit light and not well-balanced, but it was a decent read. I was especially interested in the section discussing personal responsibility vs. blaming problems on brain disorders.
ladyaisha's review against another edition
3.0
3 Stars and a Half, really.. My Favorite chapter was the one on Emotional Correctness! THAT deserves 5 starts..
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