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cowrie123's review
4.0
The first part was a little hard to get through and felt harsh and judging parents. But I loved the practical applications and examples as it goes on! I’m buying a copy to refer back to some of the games and advice she gives!
dvanhuysen's review
5.0
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning. But anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
Honestly this book changed my life. It changed my parenting style and really helped me with my own anxiety etc. it gives such a great description of steps to take in order to stop yelling/getting mad at our children. It took me 2 months to read this book fully but that is because I reread the first part a few times and worked through that. This is one of those books where I’ll look back I think from time to time to get help. I couldn’t retain ALL the Info that it had because it was just such amazing tips and tricks.
I feel like this is my Bible. I already bought her second book about siblings. I can’t thank Markham enough for helping me when I was at my lowest in parenting see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a long way to go but I feel good about the progress made.
Honestly this book changed my life. It changed my parenting style and really helped me with my own anxiety etc. it gives such a great description of steps to take in order to stop yelling/getting mad at our children. It took me 2 months to read this book fully but that is because I reread the first part a few times and worked through that. This is one of those books where I’ll look back I think from time to time to get help. I couldn’t retain ALL the Info that it had because it was just such amazing tips and tricks.
I feel like this is my Bible. I already bought her second book about siblings. I can’t thank Markham enough for helping me when I was at my lowest in parenting see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a long way to go but I feel good about the progress made.
bkoser's review
4.0
I think this is the first parenting book I've read. Great info and advice, and has changed my approach in multiple ways.
It's hard to be a good parent, but it's also hard to be a bad parent. To be a really good parent, you need patience, consistency, sacrifice, empathy, etc. But the flip side is that loving your children is enough to keep from being a bad parent; love is going to help you be patient, require you to set limits and expectations, help you reconcile when you fail over and over.
Some of my biggest takeways:
- Coach for improvement rather than controlling for immediate compliance
- Get attention before speaking
- Leaving babies to cry won't teach them to self-sooth; soothing will teach them to self-soothe.
- Allow children to express emotions, without wrong actions (eg hitting)
- When a wish can't be granted, acknowledge it and imagine the wish being fulfilled ("You wish you could have a cookie. I bet you could gobble up ten cookies right now!")
- Teach problem solving ("Let's come up with ideas of other fun things we could do instead.")
- Set high expectations and give loving support. Example: child brings home a bad report card. Don't say it's OK (low expectations) or punish them (low support). Instead talk about why they got low grades, make a plan together, and help them reach the goal.
The content is five stars, but I docked a star for the poor organization. An editor should have helped reduce redundancy.
------
# Three Big Ideas
1. Regulating Yourself - can't control children, can control ourselves; stay calm, consider before reacting
2. Fostering Connection - gives joy to parenting, makes children feel safe
3. Coaching, Not Controlling - coach for improvement rather than controlling for immediate compliance
Address feelings instead of controlling or manipulating
Force doesn't work for long
# Regulating Yourself
## Peaceful Parents Raise Happy Kids
Mindfulness - notice our emotions, then let them pass without acting on them
- If we can't control our emotions, how can we expect children to do so?
Children don't need perfection, they need ordinary devotion.
- Realize what behaviors push your buttons
- Take a breath, don't talk, show children how to handle anger
De-stress with music, walks, reading
## Manage Anger
When you get angry, you see the child as the enemy.
- Splash water on your face
- Go to another room or sit down
- Say "I'm going to calm down"
- Relieve tension by shaking out hands, breathing, smiling, laughing
- Realize that the child is acting like a child because they are a child
- Calm down before discussing with spouse
- Calm down before disciplining
- Don't spank
- Don't threaten
- Use calm words, not profanity or emotionally-charged language
- Consider that you're part of the problem
- Think about why the action made you so angry.
- Choose your battles
## Avoid Yelling
It's not an emergency
Remember you're the adult
When you mess up, apologize and use it as a teaching moment
Look at it from the child's perspective
## Handling Meltdowns
Acknowledge your feelings (panic, embarrassment, anger)
It's not an emergency
Expressing feelings is good
You don't have to fix the problem, you just have to be present for your child
Choose love
Don't react quickly
Don't explain, negotiate, advise, analyze, shut down, teach; just calm
Process feelings later: journal, discuss with another parent that won't judge
## Nurture Yourself
So you can nurture your child
When you get irritable, figure out how to get balanced (immediate: eg glass of water, sitting outside, dancing; later: bath, glass of wine, earlier bed time)
Plan for challenging times of day
Smell the roses
- Be on your child's side
- Give your children a safe place to express themselves
- Don't take it personally
- The child is doing the best they can
- Misbehavior comes from unmet needs: sleep, nutrition, relax time, cuddling, connection, fun, mastery, safety
- Tailor to individual children
- Changes day to day as they grow
# Fostering Connection
Your ability to enjoy your child is the most important factor in their development.
15 month-olds' reactions to strange situations:
1. Secure - fuss when parents leave but calm when they return
2. Resistant/ambivalent/preoccupied - fuss when parents leave, don't calm when parents return
3. Avoidant - don't fuss when parents leave, don't expect comfort from parents
Spend enough time with 6-9 year-olds that you keep your connection: family rituals, downtime. Don't worry if the regress and don't act their age. Enjoy the last year's of being the center of your child's life.
Defiance is the most common sign that your relationship needs repair.
When the child is defiant, try hugging the child, telling them you love them, and asking again.
- Snuggle first thing in the morning
- Refuel emotionally before disconnecting - bedtime, daycare, shopping
- 12 hugs a day
- Turn off cell phone when interacting
- Evenings are family time
- Have special time: 15 minutes, as many days a week as possible. Focus on the child with no distractions, playing and getting them laughing. Alternate choosing activities.
How to start the day well:
- Put the kids down early
- Go to bed early
- Build in extra time
- Prepare the night before
- Snuggle for 5 minutes after waking up
- Simple routine (sleep in day clothes, sandwich in car for breakfast, etc)
- Offer choices
- Ruthlessly prioritize
How to end the day well:
- Make a chart with pictures of the child doing each part of the bedtime routine
- Avoid distractions
- No roughhousing the hour before bed
- Play a separation game
- No screens the hour before bed
- 10 minutes of quality time after lights out for each child
- Stay calm
Listen:
- Be fully present
- If you can't listen right then, tell them you will talk later
- Ask specific questions
- Let them vent instead of trying to solve their problems
Get the child to listen:
- Get attention before speaking
- Don't repeat yourself
- Use fewer words
- Soothe
Actively listening will teach them how to listen.
When the child shuts down:
- Compassion
- Don't make them talk
- Get them giggling
When you fail, reconnect.
# Coaching, Not Controlling
## Emotion Coaching
Teach how to manage feelings, and how to understand other's feelings
Babies (0-13 Months): Build Trust
- Leaving babies to cry won't teach them to self-sooth; soothing will teach them to self-soothe.
Toddlers (13-36 Months): Unconditional Love
- Children tantrum when they fell overwhelmed. Hug or stay close and let them cry it out.
- Allow them to express emotions, without wrong actions (eg hitting)
Preschoolers (3-5 Years): Empathy
Elementary Schoolers (6-9 Years): Emotional Self-Control
Set limits. Be understanding when the child is is unhappy about the limits.
When they're upset, don't solve the problem, analyze, argue, or even cheer up. Empathize (listen, acknowledge by describing the feelings with words) until they get through the feelings.
Nurture Emotional Intelligence
- Empathize
- Limit actions, allow emotion
- When a wish can't be granted, acknowledge it and imagine the wish being fulfilled ("You wish you could have a cookie. I bet you could gobble up ten cookies right now!")
- Name the emotion and tell a story to help them understand themselves ("You are so disappointed. We were going to the beach and then it started raining.")
- Teach problem solving ("Let's come up with ideas of other fun things we could do instead.")
During a meltdown
- surface their emotions
- stay with them
- hug or touch
- create safety; I'll stay here, you're safe, etc., but don't talk too much
- ignore rudeness; they don't really hate you
- tell them you love them when they are done
- tell them the story of what happened so they can make sense of how to handle big feelings
Games to Teach Emotional Intelligence
- wrestle, pillow fight
- chase
- be a bumbling monster
- Bye-Bye Game - help with separation anxiety
- I Need You game - help with clinginess
- Pretend they scared you - help with fear
- Be silly when potty training - wear a diaper on your head, dance, pretend to be afraid of the toilet
- When they whine, pretend they lost their "strong voice" and you are looking for it (then they can ask again without whining)
- I bet you can't push me over, or take turns giving directions like "I bet you can't stay on the couch" - helps with defiance
- When they fight: after they calm down, ask them to fight again and give TV commentary to make them giggle
- Act out difficult situations with stuffed animals
# Raising a Child Who Wants to Behave
Punishment doesn't prevent crimes of passion.
## Guidance
0-13 Months: Empathic Redirection
"No" is for emergencies
Babyproof instead of trying to teach limits
13-36 Months: Sidestep Power Struggles
Let them say "no" when possible so they will say "no" later when it matters
3-5 Years: Self-Management
6-9 Years: Developing Good Habits
Set high expectations and give loving support. Example: child brings home a bad report card. Don't say it's OK (low expectations) or punish them; instead talk about why they got low grades, make a plan together, and help them reach the goal.
Don't punish with consequences, but it's OK to let natural consequences happen for learning.
Setting Limits
- Connect, then talk
- Empathy - acknowledge their point of view
- Give a choice
- Limit negotiations
- Listen
Testing limits is normal behavior
Instead of punishing:
- Let the child solve the problem
- Find a win-win solution
- Cooperative phrasing - instead of "go brush your teeth now", try "you may brush your teeth now" or give a choice "do you want to brush teeth before or after you put on your PJs"
- Let them do as much as they can (mastery)
- Make it a game
- Physical, playful reconnection
- Wish fulfillment
- Give them what they want in some cases
- Talk them through the situation as a story
Instead of forcing an apology:
- Reflect - talk through the situation as a story and ask open-ended questions
- Repair - how can they fix the situation?
- Responsibility - help them see that choices impact others
# Mastery Coaching
1. Unconditional love
2. Respect - they will have different goals and interests as they grow
3. Scaffolding - routines, habits, expectations, modeling, safe environment
Babies
- talk through everything you do with them
- Let them experiment and figure things out
- help when they need it; they will be able to try for longer periods as they grow
- babyproof to minimize saying No
Toddlers and Preschoolers
- Let them do as much as possible
- Model, offer strategies, tell schedule, support emotional regulation, remind, encourage
Elementary Schoolers
- Talk through situations to explicitly model
Prioritize exploration, joy, learning over achievement and drudgery
Praise effort, not results
Struggling is a learning experience
Don't set them up for failure
Support, don't rescue - don't do the science fair project
Help them learn after failure
Conventional praise ("Good job", "I'm proud of you", "Beautiful painting") makes children their performance always needs to measure up. It also replaces intrinsic rewards (pride in a job well done, mastery) with extrinsic; children that are praised for eating vegetables realize that vegetables don't taste good because they are rewarded with praise for eating them.
Instead of labeling or evaluating:
- Empathize
- Notice what they are doing
- "I love doing this with you!"
- Encourage
- "You are really working hard at that"
- "You did it! You must be so proud of yourself!" - mirroring joy, making them the owner of the pride so they don't think of it as something that could be withheld
Don't blame:
- Take responsibility for your part, even if it's "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help" (modeling).
- Find a solution.
Develop Responsibility
- Work with them
- Let them think instead of giving orders
- Model responsibility
- Have them pay for damaged items
Stop Worrying
- Notice when you're worrying
- Stop, breathe, shake your hands out
- Reassure yourself (Kids need to explore and experiment, The risk is small, I don't have to be perfect, It will be OK, They are acting like kids because they are kids)
- Picture your desired outcome
- Find one action to get closer to your outcome
It's hard to be a good parent, but it's also hard to be a bad parent. To be a really good parent, you need patience, consistency, sacrifice, empathy, etc. But the flip side is that loving your children is enough to keep from being a bad parent; love is going to help you be patient, require you to set limits and expectations, help you reconcile when you fail over and over.
Some of my biggest takeways:
- Coach for improvement rather than controlling for immediate compliance
- Get attention before speaking
- Leaving babies to cry won't teach them to self-sooth; soothing will teach them to self-soothe.
- Allow children to express emotions, without wrong actions (eg hitting)
- When a wish can't be granted, acknowledge it and imagine the wish being fulfilled ("You wish you could have a cookie. I bet you could gobble up ten cookies right now!")
- Teach problem solving ("Let's come up with ideas of other fun things we could do instead.")
- Set high expectations and give loving support. Example: child brings home a bad report card. Don't say it's OK (low expectations) or punish them (low support). Instead talk about why they got low grades, make a plan together, and help them reach the goal.
The content is five stars, but I docked a star for the poor organization. An editor should have helped reduce redundancy.
------
# Three Big Ideas
1. Regulating Yourself - can't control children, can control ourselves; stay calm, consider before reacting
2. Fostering Connection - gives joy to parenting, makes children feel safe
3. Coaching, Not Controlling - coach for improvement rather than controlling for immediate compliance
Address feelings instead of controlling or manipulating
Force doesn't work for long
# Regulating Yourself
## Peaceful Parents Raise Happy Kids
Mindfulness - notice our emotions, then let them pass without acting on them
- If we can't control our emotions, how can we expect children to do so?
Children don't need perfection, they need ordinary devotion.
- Realize what behaviors push your buttons
- Take a breath, don't talk, show children how to handle anger
De-stress with music, walks, reading
## Manage Anger
When you get angry, you see the child as the enemy.
- Splash water on your face
- Go to another room or sit down
- Say "I'm going to calm down"
- Relieve tension by shaking out hands, breathing, smiling, laughing
- Realize that the child is acting like a child because they are a child
- Calm down before discussing with spouse
- Calm down before disciplining
- Don't spank
- Don't threaten
- Use calm words, not profanity or emotionally-charged language
- Consider that you're part of the problem
- Think about why the action made you so angry.
- Choose your battles
## Avoid Yelling
It's not an emergency
Remember you're the adult
When you mess up, apologize and use it as a teaching moment
Look at it from the child's perspective
## Handling Meltdowns
Acknowledge your feelings (panic, embarrassment, anger)
It's not an emergency
Expressing feelings is good
You don't have to fix the problem, you just have to be present for your child
Choose love
Don't react quickly
Don't explain, negotiate, advise, analyze, shut down, teach; just calm
Process feelings later: journal, discuss with another parent that won't judge
## Nurture Yourself
So you can nurture your child
When you get irritable, figure out how to get balanced (immediate: eg glass of water, sitting outside, dancing; later: bath, glass of wine, earlier bed time)
Plan for challenging times of day
Smell the roses
- Be on your child's side
- Give your children a safe place to express themselves
- Don't take it personally
- The child is doing the best they can
- Misbehavior comes from unmet needs: sleep, nutrition, relax time, cuddling, connection, fun, mastery, safety
- Tailor to individual children
- Changes day to day as they grow
# Fostering Connection
Your ability to enjoy your child is the most important factor in their development.
15 month-olds' reactions to strange situations:
1. Secure - fuss when parents leave but calm when they return
2. Resistant/ambivalent/preoccupied - fuss when parents leave, don't calm when parents return
3. Avoidant - don't fuss when parents leave, don't expect comfort from parents
Spend enough time with 6-9 year-olds that you keep your connection: family rituals, downtime. Don't worry if the regress and don't act their age. Enjoy the last year's of being the center of your child's life.
Defiance is the most common sign that your relationship needs repair.
When the child is defiant, try hugging the child, telling them you love them, and asking again.
- Snuggle first thing in the morning
- Refuel emotionally before disconnecting - bedtime, daycare, shopping
- 12 hugs a day
- Turn off cell phone when interacting
- Evenings are family time
- Have special time: 15 minutes, as many days a week as possible. Focus on the child with no distractions, playing and getting them laughing. Alternate choosing activities.
How to start the day well:
- Put the kids down early
- Go to bed early
- Build in extra time
- Prepare the night before
- Snuggle for 5 minutes after waking up
- Simple routine (sleep in day clothes, sandwich in car for breakfast, etc)
- Offer choices
- Ruthlessly prioritize
How to end the day well:
- Make a chart with pictures of the child doing each part of the bedtime routine
- Avoid distractions
- No roughhousing the hour before bed
- Play a separation game
- No screens the hour before bed
- 10 minutes of quality time after lights out for each child
- Stay calm
Listen:
- Be fully present
- If you can't listen right then, tell them you will talk later
- Ask specific questions
- Let them vent instead of trying to solve their problems
Get the child to listen:
- Get attention before speaking
- Don't repeat yourself
- Use fewer words
- Soothe
Actively listening will teach them how to listen.
When the child shuts down:
- Compassion
- Don't make them talk
- Get them giggling
When you fail, reconnect.
# Coaching, Not Controlling
## Emotion Coaching
Teach how to manage feelings, and how to understand other's feelings
Babies (0-13 Months): Build Trust
- Leaving babies to cry won't teach them to self-sooth; soothing will teach them to self-soothe.
Toddlers (13-36 Months): Unconditional Love
- Children tantrum when they fell overwhelmed. Hug or stay close and let them cry it out.
- Allow them to express emotions, without wrong actions (eg hitting)
Preschoolers (3-5 Years): Empathy
Elementary Schoolers (6-9 Years): Emotional Self-Control
Set limits. Be understanding when the child is is unhappy about the limits.
When they're upset, don't solve the problem, analyze, argue, or even cheer up. Empathize (listen, acknowledge by describing the feelings with words) until they get through the feelings.
Nurture Emotional Intelligence
- Empathize
- Limit actions, allow emotion
- When a wish can't be granted, acknowledge it and imagine the wish being fulfilled ("You wish you could have a cookie. I bet you could gobble up ten cookies right now!")
- Name the emotion and tell a story to help them understand themselves ("You are so disappointed. We were going to the beach and then it started raining.")
- Teach problem solving ("Let's come up with ideas of other fun things we could do instead.")
During a meltdown
- surface their emotions
- stay with them
- hug or touch
- create safety; I'll stay here, you're safe, etc., but don't talk too much
- ignore rudeness; they don't really hate you
- tell them you love them when they are done
- tell them the story of what happened so they can make sense of how to handle big feelings
Games to Teach Emotional Intelligence
- wrestle, pillow fight
- chase
- be a bumbling monster
- Bye-Bye Game - help with separation anxiety
- I Need You game - help with clinginess
- Pretend they scared you - help with fear
- Be silly when potty training - wear a diaper on your head, dance, pretend to be afraid of the toilet
- When they whine, pretend they lost their "strong voice" and you are looking for it (then they can ask again without whining)
- I bet you can't push me over, or take turns giving directions like "I bet you can't stay on the couch" - helps with defiance
- When they fight: after they calm down, ask them to fight again and give TV commentary to make them giggle
- Act out difficult situations with stuffed animals
# Raising a Child Who Wants to Behave
Punishment doesn't prevent crimes of passion.
## Guidance
0-13 Months: Empathic Redirection
"No" is for emergencies
Babyproof instead of trying to teach limits
13-36 Months: Sidestep Power Struggles
Let them say "no" when possible so they will say "no" later when it matters
3-5 Years: Self-Management
6-9 Years: Developing Good Habits
Set high expectations and give loving support. Example: child brings home a bad report card. Don't say it's OK (low expectations) or punish them; instead talk about why they got low grades, make a plan together, and help them reach the goal.
Don't punish with consequences, but it's OK to let natural consequences happen for learning.
Setting Limits
- Connect, then talk
- Empathy - acknowledge their point of view
- Give a choice
- Limit negotiations
- Listen
Testing limits is normal behavior
Instead of punishing:
- Let the child solve the problem
- Find a win-win solution
- Cooperative phrasing - instead of "go brush your teeth now", try "you may brush your teeth now" or give a choice "do you want to brush teeth before or after you put on your PJs"
- Let them do as much as they can (mastery)
- Make it a game
- Physical, playful reconnection
- Wish fulfillment
- Give them what they want in some cases
- Talk them through the situation as a story
Instead of forcing an apology:
- Reflect - talk through the situation as a story and ask open-ended questions
- Repair - how can they fix the situation?
- Responsibility - help them see that choices impact others
# Mastery Coaching
1. Unconditional love
2. Respect - they will have different goals and interests as they grow
3. Scaffolding - routines, habits, expectations, modeling, safe environment
Babies
- talk through everything you do with them
- Let them experiment and figure things out
- help when they need it; they will be able to try for longer periods as they grow
- babyproof to minimize saying No
Toddlers and Preschoolers
- Let them do as much as possible
- Model, offer strategies, tell schedule, support emotional regulation, remind, encourage
Elementary Schoolers
- Talk through situations to explicitly model
Prioritize exploration, joy, learning over achievement and drudgery
Praise effort, not results
Struggling is a learning experience
Don't set them up for failure
Support, don't rescue - don't do the science fair project
Help them learn after failure
Conventional praise ("Good job", "I'm proud of you", "Beautiful painting") makes children their performance always needs to measure up. It also replaces intrinsic rewards (pride in a job well done, mastery) with extrinsic; children that are praised for eating vegetables realize that vegetables don't taste good because they are rewarded with praise for eating them.
Instead of labeling or evaluating:
- Empathize
- Notice what they are doing
- "I love doing this with you!"
- Encourage
- "You are really working hard at that"
- "You did it! You must be so proud of yourself!" - mirroring joy, making them the owner of the pride so they don't think of it as something that could be withheld
Don't blame:
- Take responsibility for your part, even if it's "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help" (modeling).
- Find a solution.
Develop Responsibility
- Work with them
- Let them think instead of giving orders
- Model responsibility
- Have them pay for damaged items
Stop Worrying
- Notice when you're worrying
- Stop, breathe, shake your hands out
- Reassure yourself (Kids need to explore and experiment, The risk is small, I don't have to be perfect, It will be OK, They are acting like kids because they are kids)
- Picture your desired outcome
- Find one action to get closer to your outcome
crystalathome's review
3.0
Meh.
This book wasn’t what I expected and since that isn’t really the author’s fault, I gave this book more stars than I initially wanted to.
There were a couple of nuggets of wisdom in here that were profound and really made me think but there was also a lot that I found ridiculous and/or made me roll my eyes.
Also, this book was geared toward parents of younger kids — if your kids are older than age nine, you’re not the target audience and you’d be better off finding another book on this topic.
This book wasn’t what I expected and since that isn’t really the author’s fault, I gave this book more stars than I initially wanted to.
There were a couple of nuggets of wisdom in here that were profound and really made me think but there was also a lot that I found ridiculous and/or made me roll my eyes.
Also, this book was geared toward parents of younger kids — if your kids are older than age nine, you’re not the target audience and you’d be better off finding another book on this topic.
brandym103's review
4.0
I reached for this book from a friend's recommendation because I have a 4-year old who is talking back and a 2-year old who thinks running from me in dangerous situations is a joke. I was searching for something to give me real answers rather than the old, tired advice I had tried a million times. This was the answer!
So many things in this book were almost uncanny in how they described my children, but I really struggled with the idea of removing consequences and time outs as a part of our parenting techniques. However, I have already seen differences in my kids after just a few days and I am happier as a mom. I can honestly say that today was the first day in a long time where I didn't feel emotionally exhausted at the days end and truly enjoyed being a mom! I recommend this book to any parent who wants to truly get to the root of the behavior problems with their kids.
I will say that there were a few items in the book that experience with kids told me to nix (for example, allowing "special rules" during special time with your kids), but I think that is true with any parenting book.
So many things in this book were almost uncanny in how they described my children, but I really struggled with the idea of removing consequences and time outs as a part of our parenting techniques. However, I have already seen differences in my kids after just a few days and I am happier as a mom. I can honestly say that today was the first day in a long time where I didn't feel emotionally exhausted at the days end and truly enjoyed being a mom! I recommend this book to any parent who wants to truly get to the root of the behavior problems with their kids.
I will say that there were a few items in the book that experience with kids told me to nix (for example, allowing "special rules" during special time with your kids), but I think that is true with any parenting book.
violettwilight's review
5.0
If you are a parent you need to read this book. It is amazing and empowering. I have barely started using the techniques in this book and already feel more connected to my children. It is all about love and supporting your child through their difficult moments. Amazing.
a3bowles's review
4.0
Was an excellent book, doesn’t get the full 5 ⭐️ because she’s a bit preachy about daycare.
Lots of good tools, games, and scripts to follow. I began utilizing her suggestions during the first chapter and already feel so much more peaceful with my kids.
Lots of good tools, games, and scripts to follow. I began utilizing her suggestions during the first chapter and already feel so much more peaceful with my kids.
bee_elle's review
2.0
This book gets one star for part 1 on mindfulness and 1 star for the section on encouragement and 0 stars for the rest - it’s an attachment parenting book in disguise and, at best, completely unrealistic (how many hours does this author think are in a day?!) and at worst, parent-shaming (basically describing daycare as the root of all evil, among other things). That said, I did enjoy the aforementioned sections but eye rolled the rest.