Reviews

You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat

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syenor's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

kirstinlwx's review against another edition

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challenging emotional tense fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book raised my heart rate every time I was reading. It very effectively transferred the feeling of anxiety from the main character to me as the reader, but that effectiveness didn’t feel enjoyable. Even with the character growth by the end of the novel, I was still frustrated with our character. It was definitely an exercise in understanding and embodying the complexity of enmeshed families and relationships. I almost want to re-read it, but I also am so happy to be done with the stresd that this book made me feel.

melissafelicia's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character

3.25

The main character and I got off on the wrong foot because I hate it when people cheat on and lie to their partners and after that, I had a hard time getting into the story, because I couldn't relate to her that well and missed a bit of structure in the story. Both got better later on in the book and the subject matter of love addiction was interesting, because I didn't know that much about it.

mrscorytee's review against another edition

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dark emotional sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

okayletsread's review against another edition

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challenging reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

Essentially, this was a book about self-sabotage in the form of love addiction through the lens of a queer Palestinian American woman. I liked the flashbacks to the main character's childhood and its connection with her current behaviors, but it focused too much on a long string of love interests and unhealthy, toxic relationships that contributed to her addiction. And the style felt rushed and reminiscent of stream-of-consciousness journal entries from our teenage years. There's not enough in the book that worked for me.

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archiveofrasa's review against another edition

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reflective slow-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

despite this book not necessarily being a 5-star read for me, I'm really glad I read it. I have this urge to give it a higher rating with every other review I'm seeing at the moment, but I'm sticking to 4 stars.

no matter how unlikable this (unnamed) main character is, she feels so real on the page. she's contradictory, absolutely messy in the sense that if she was gen Z I know her peers would shun her online, and she's in so much unacknowledged pain. she unravels this pain slowly, empathetically that when she starts admitting it bit by bit, I felt this satisfaction growing, even though she continues to be flawed.

maybe it's just me, but whenever she cheated, it wasn't like she was actively justifying it. I feel like a lot of people are implying this, but it's more matter of fact, described like an addiction, which is essentially what it is for this character.

going into this book, I expected to see more vignettes with her mother, but on my annotating reread, I realised her mother was indeed there, just in between the lines. that's ultimately what this book is about: the main character's relationship with her mother and how that's impacted her throughout the questionable choices she makes. the connections this has to her Palestinian roots, diaspora experiences, her sexuality and generally just lack of community, they were so interesting and heartbreaking. reading Arafat's interviews about this book definitely confirmed my thoughts on quite a few aspects of the novel and while there is a lot of subtlety I feel like went over my head, I really enjoyed it!

Content Warnings