Reviews

In this story, we follow Nur as he navigates the difficulties of figuring out his life as far as dating and work goes but also the pressure of living up to his family’s expectations. Now not saying this is every household, but I do feel like, as Americans, we latch onto that mindset of “Ima do me” and we’re so quick to cancel those opinions on our life if it’s just not feeding us the way we want to be fed. But there’s always a flip side, and I believe we see that here, where family and tradition are so engrained in this character that he really truly struggles to find peace within himself. And it’s to the extent that he tends to make not the best choices, like hiding his relationship of 4 years to someone outside of his race.

This story is told thru dual timeline which really does benefit the story and the growth of the character. You get glimpses of, Nur responding a certain way because of what he experienced in his past. Tugs in your heartstrings a little bit😢

There were some triggering moments but I think this could be a great Bookclub pick for discussion or just a buddy read. It really opens the door to empathy for people who do still struggle with YOLO vs tradition. And sometimes it’s not as easy as walking away and closing that door.

⚠️: self harm (off page but does reflect on the action), panic attacks and hospitalization, colorism and dating outside your race, intense familial/cultural expectations

Content Warnings

readingwithlibby's review against another edition

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4.0

I definitely enjoyed this book. I loved the back and forth and jumping around from past to present. The realism of the complexities of religion and race and relationships really brought this book to life. It was heartbreaking and I really felt for the characters. I love that Nur is held accountable and I think it ends in the most perfect was. The only way that feels right, no matter how sad. I loved the role mental illness played as both prominent in Nur’s anxiety and depression and in Yasmina’s sister as a side plot. It was interesting to see Nur’s arguments and justifications for his behaviour throughout, truly believing that he didn’t do anything wrong. I really enjoyed the book overall and I think it has a very important place in modern literature.

amakaazie's review against another edition

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3.0

3.5

I have 3 black daughters living in Uk. I hope I raise them to know their worth and never to date or fall in love with a racist.

It was heart wrenching reading about Yasmina, an intelligent black woman from a good middle class family allowing herself to be treated like a dirty secret by a racist boyfriend who uses his family’s as an excuse to hide his bigotry.

The fact that this is fiction doesn’t mean this is not reality for a lot of black women. The desire to be loved and have a family usually makes a lot of women ignore red flags. But ignoring racism? Being kept as a secret? No! That’s too much!

I despised Nur’s character and I’m glad about the ending!

I did a little epilogue in my head where Yasmina ends up with a handsome man who worships the ground she walks on (preferably a black man), and Nur ends up miserable with an “acceptable wife”…

The storytelling was excellent! But I hated the story because it’s quite relatable. I know a black woman married to a white man who says racists things and she keeps laughing it off as him being silly

annashan's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative reflective sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

bookishkitkat's review against another edition

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4.0

the ending ouch 😓

lil_bokchoy's review against another edition

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i... just couldn't get into it... the MC was pretty shitty, honestly and i lost motivation to continue :/

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