Reviews tagging 'Toxic relationship'

Betty by Tiffany McDaniel

21 reviews

amreynrt's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional funny mysterious sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I thought about what rating I wanted to give Betty. It is an incredible story written in a way that makes you forget everything around you, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. Betty is a story of racism, abuse, love and magic. It is about very flawed people being a family. It is about a very flawed society through the 1960s. It is about a man loving his children and giving life the most he could. It is about traditions and relationships all seen from a growing kid's eyes.

The set up is great, and the author mentions she tried to do justice to Ohio. You can feel the nature and the Lanes (not streets) of Breathed. You can feel the river and the winter and the hills. Tiffany McDaniel did an incredible job of writing a book from a child's perspective. In this book, everything feels terribly real. 

Never have I ever loved reading such a tough story. Many have said it this way, and I wholeheartedly agree - it is a book I would love to reread, but I'm not sure I'd ever want to put myself through this again. A heartbreaking story put together through incredible writing. I had never felt so uncomfortable reading a book I would give 5 stars to. 

I loved when Betty confronted Leland at the end.  All this time she kept quiet for the sake of Fraya and because she did not understand how and whom to tell this story. I wanted Betty to confront or tell on Leland throughout the whole book, and it felt so real that she would do so only at the very end. Not all stories are fair, not all secrets are told in real life. She did it not when it mattered the most, but she did it nonetheless.

So, so many traumatising scenes. Nova on the train tracks. Trustin. Fraya. Alka when she was a little girl. The kittens. The racism. Sometimes, it was a little hard to take it all in. Yet you just keep going, because it is written beautifully and because you want to understand those characters that feel maybe a little too real.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Rape, Animal cruelty, Death of parent, Blood, Bullying, Child abuse, Colonisation, Sexual harassment, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, Violence, Animal death, Racism, Child death, Incest, and Sexual assault

Minor: Vomit

ashleykhoffman's review against another edition

challenging emotional sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book was beautifully emotional and I'm sure the author felt a sense of power reclaiming so many dark corners of her familial trauma. 

Everything was nice to read, but there was no pressure for me that was keeping me reading. There were LOTS of dramatic moments, but no ongoing pressure or singular thing I was rooting for or hoping for. It just felt like getting slapped in the face every other chapter for 50 chapters. This family was put through the wringer; Betty, too, was put through it, but she seemed to be the lone member of her family who persevered and rose above in the end. 

I've come to realize that memoir-style stories are just not my favorite, but if you're looking for something full of emotions and lots of triggering scenes that will make you gasp and a wicked surprising ending dramatic climax... you'll love this.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Pregnancy, Racism, Sexual assault, Rape, Sexism, Suicide attempt, and Incest

Moderate: Racial slurs, Gun violence, Animal cruelty, Suicidal thoughts, and Death of parent

Minor: Miscarriage, Drug abuse, and Toxic relationship

andrearenee42's review against another edition

challenging dark reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

Beautiful love story to family with beautiful writing, but read the content warnings 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Racial slurs, Racism, Forced institutionalization, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Animal death, Pregnancy, Self harm, Sexism, Drug abuse, Drug use, Grief, Murder, Violence, Addiction, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Abortion, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexual violence, Suicide attempt, Rape, Suicide, Animal cruelty, Hate crime, Incest, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Sexual assault, and Toxic relationship

very graphic depiction of animal torture, specifically kittens

benchless's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes

5.0

This story was full of experiential contradictions.

It had some of the most beautiful storytelling I've ever read and some of the ugliest, most heartbreaking stories. Reading this was hard. It hurt. I cried through most of it. I felt heavy and cracked open and couldn't imagine how our protagonist Betty shouldered so much pain when I could barely read it. 

To be a woman in this novel was to suffer.

"You know what the heaviest thing in the world is, Betty? It's a man on top of you when you don't want him to be."

"By that time, I was at a point in my life where I had a very particular image of God in my head. I imagined God was a woman in a torn satin bed jacket with falling curlers in her messy hair. She sat in a bed of dirty sheets, surrounded by a canopy of sheer curtains spiders clung to. She ate chocolates from a box until her teeth were rotted and the box was empty, ready to be piled with the smashed boxes already on the floor. Blush was streaked across her cheeks like something trying to run away. Lipstick bled outside the lines of her lips as if they were melting. She was a woman used and left by humanity in ways only we know how to consume and leave."

With all this suffering, I was amazed by how much hope remained threaded throughout every chapter. Why? Betty had the most loving, imaginative father you could imagine. He was a Cherokee man married to a white woman in a time when nothing kind came from having brown skin. He struggled and failed to give his children what they needed at times, but he persevered and loved them all, even the bad ones. He filled their minds with the most beautiful stories that tried to make them feel special and worth something in a world that was constantly pushing them down. 

"The first woman was given antlers on her head to branch her power out into the world," he said, digging the rake deeper. "Slugs are frightened of that power because they are spineless creatures, and all spineless creatures are frightened of a woman's power."

"He would stretch her hands out to either side of her. 'You're my centimeter, inch, and foot. The distance between your hands is the distance that measures everything between the sun and the moon. Only a woman can measure such things.' 'Why?' Fraya asked to remind herself. 'Because you're powerful.'"

"He kissed my forehead. 'I don't know if I've ever told you that I love you, Little Indian. I don't know if I've ever said those words.' 'You said them every time you told me a story.' I looked into his eyes...'Have I ever told you I loved you?' I asked because I really didn't know. 'Every time you listened to one of my stories.'"

The relationship between Betty and her father is built on these stories, and they get Betty past all the hurdles of "coming of age against the knife" to become a writer herself. I adored him and Betty, and I left this book with great respect for Tiffany McDaniel's family history.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Rape, Racism, Incest, Racial slurs, and Sexual assault

Moderate: Addiction, Death of parent, Suicide attempt, Miscarriage, Emotional abuse, Grief, Violence, Toxic relationship, and Pregnancy

elliott_the_clementine's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful sad fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

I will leave this book unrated. Incredibly written, painfully dark, and intensely important. Please check the trigger warnings before reading. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Addiction, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Vomit, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Bullying, Injury/Injury detail, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Death of parent, Medical content, Racial slurs, Mental illness, Religious bigotry, Sexism, Physical abuse, Racism, Suicide, Self harm, Torture, Child death, Chronic illness, Classism, Death, Gore, Ableism, Alcohol, Emotional abuse, Suicide attempt, Toxic friendship, Toxic relationship, Violence, Sexual assault, Pregnancy, Cultural appropriation, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Alcoholism, Animal cruelty, Animal death, Misogyny, Incest, Medical trauma, Miscarriage, Rape, Grief, Gun violence, Hate crime, Colonisation, Drug use, and Fire/Fire injury

jordyfrombookclub's review against another edition

challenging dark sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Sexual violence, Sexual assault, Incest, Adult/minor relationship, Abortion, Child abuse, Sexism, Abandonment, Child death, Toxic relationship, Animal death, Blood, Suicide attempt, Self harm, Fatphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Violence, Physical abuse, Sexual harassment, Rape, Racism, Racial slurs, Murder, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Death, Animal cruelty, Torture, Suicide, and Suicidal thoughts

This book barely lets you come up for air. It ties you up with a thin chain of hope and beauty as it drags you rampant abuse and family trauma. Not for the faint of heart (me).

airr's review against another edition

adventurous challenging emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Emotional abuse, Child abuse, Drug use, Gaslighting, Rape, Alcohol, Bullying, Blood, Death of parent, Grief, Suicide attempt, Death, Toxic relationship, Racism, Animal death, Mental illness, Fire/Fire injury, Self harm, Violence, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, and Racial slurs

Moderate: Medical content, Gun violence, Vomit, Pregnancy, and Miscarriage

joeleneb's review against another edition

dark emotional hopeful inspiring sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Racism, Incest, Miscarriage, Racial slurs, Body shaming, Mental illness, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Suicide, Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, and Sexual assault

tfarfan's review

emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Death, Abortion, Body shaming, Bullying, Miscarriage, Death of parent, Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Rape, Child abuse, Hate crime, Racial slurs, Child death, Classism, Emotional abuse, Grief, Incest, Sexual violence, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, and Animal cruelty

bookishfaye's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

This is one of those books that feels too personal and real to give any sort of rating too; it simply transcends that. This book will stay with me forever, & has absolutely split me in two, while being a strange comfort simultaneously. If you are going to pick this up, know it represents highly triggering content to the extremes constantly, and is in no way shape or form an “easy,” or “light” read. It’s tough as nails, just like Betty 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Animal cruelty, Gun violence, Hate crime, Incest, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Animal death, Blood, Rape, Racism, Cursing, Death, Drug use, Drug abuse, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Medical content, Misogyny, Pedophilia, Physical abuse, Vomit, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment, Bullying, Child abuse, Colonisation, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Religious bigotry, Mental illness, Sexism, Self harm, Ableism, Abortion, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Child death, Confinement, Death of parent, Fire/Fire injury, Violence, Toxic relationship, Suicide attempt, Sexual violence, Sexual assault, and Racial slurs