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samstillreading's review against another edition
4.0
Big Ray may be a fairly short book at just 182 pages, but its contents certainly do punch well above its weight. Weight being one of the main topics covered in this reflective, semi-autobiographical book in 500 entries, matching the weight of Daniel’s father, Big Ray, when he passed away.
Each entry tells the reader a snippet of life with Big Ray. As the entries accumulate, my feelings became confused. Should I feel sorry for this large man with numerous medical problems whose activities were restricted by his size? When I read about the abuse his wife and children received at his hands, I felt guilty about feeling sorry for him. When I read about Daniel trying to relate to Big Ray, I felt sorry for them both.
You might have guessed now that this slim novel carries a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s powerful, and kudos to Michael Kimball for being able to communicate so much in just a few sentences. It’s easy to feel Daniel’s pain and conflicting emotions. This novel packs as big a punch as a 500 page chunkster. It describes the complexities of family relationships – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is also somewhat of a journal of discovery for Daniel, as he adjusts to life without a father, examining the man he both loved and hated.
I enjoyed how Kimball examined the feelings of his protagonist in this novel, leading up to a big punch where Big Ray’s character (and our sympathies) completely changed. This is emotion laid bare, told succinctly and directly. Definitely worth a read.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia for the ARC.
Each entry tells the reader a snippet of life with Big Ray. As the entries accumulate, my feelings became confused. Should I feel sorry for this large man with numerous medical problems whose activities were restricted by his size? When I read about the abuse his wife and children received at his hands, I felt guilty about feeling sorry for him. When I read about Daniel trying to relate to Big Ray, I felt sorry for them both.
You might have guessed now that this slim novel carries a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s powerful, and kudos to Michael Kimball for being able to communicate so much in just a few sentences. It’s easy to feel Daniel’s pain and conflicting emotions. This novel packs as big a punch as a 500 page chunkster. It describes the complexities of family relationships – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is also somewhat of a journal of discovery for Daniel, as he adjusts to life without a father, examining the man he both loved and hated.
I enjoyed how Kimball examined the feelings of his protagonist in this novel, leading up to a big punch where Big Ray’s character (and our sympathies) completely changed. This is emotion laid bare, told succinctly and directly. Definitely worth a read.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia for the ARC.
patchworkbunny's review
4.0
Daniel didn’t know his father was dead until a few days after it happened. His death brings mixed feelings; both relief and sadness. Weighing in at over 500 pounds, Big Ray was not an easy man to know. His temper defined Daniel’s childhood and distanced them as adults. As Daniel comes to terms with his loss, he recalls memories and anecdotes of his father, from birth to death.
Big Ray is made up of 500 entries, one for each pound both Daniel’s and Michael Kimball’s fathers weighed. Whilst the structure of short memories and snippets of information works, I found the number a bit tenuous as some of them are really one entry split up. The narrative jumps around very much like a train of thought, mirroring the patterns of memory. When we think of a lost one we don’t do so in a linear fashion. It also deals with the conflicts of grieving someone you may have loved but not liked. Daniel’s relationship with his father was a difficult one but he was still his father.
There is a semi-autobiographical slant to the novel as the author’s father was also obese, adding authenticity to the descriptions of Ray’s weight and the things that became difficult as he grew. There isn’t a sense of why he ate so much, just that he was overbearing both in physical size and personality.
The words “my father” are used a lot throughout the prose, partly creating a sense of detachment but it started to grate on me after a while. Each entry has it at least once and it’s not like there would be any ambiguity to who is being referred to. It’s obviously being used for effect but one that started to get in the way of my enjoyment a little. Otherwise, it’s a powerful, little book.
Big Ray is made up of 500 entries, one for each pound both Daniel’s and Michael Kimball’s fathers weighed. Whilst the structure of short memories and snippets of information works, I found the number a bit tenuous as some of them are really one entry split up. The narrative jumps around very much like a train of thought, mirroring the patterns of memory. When we think of a lost one we don’t do so in a linear fashion. It also deals with the conflicts of grieving someone you may have loved but not liked. Daniel’s relationship with his father was a difficult one but he was still his father.
There is a semi-autobiographical slant to the novel as the author’s father was also obese, adding authenticity to the descriptions of Ray’s weight and the things that became difficult as he grew. There isn’t a sense of why he ate so much, just that he was overbearing both in physical size and personality.
The words “my father” are used a lot throughout the prose, partly creating a sense of detachment but it started to grate on me after a while. Each entry has it at least once and it’s not like there would be any ambiguity to who is being referred to. It’s obviously being used for effect but one that started to get in the way of my enjoyment a little. Otherwise, it’s a powerful, little book.
audreychamaine's review against another edition
4.0
I was astounded by the level of truth and emotion that are in every page of Big Ray. Told in small recollections following the death of his father, a man gives the story of their relationship and the kind of man his father was. There’s as much heavy meaning in what’s not said as in what is, but it all feels very naturalistic, as if you’re speaking to a friend who is feigning to casually tell you about his father’s death, but is truly working through the complex emotions of anger, relief, grief, and even love.
Make no mistake, Big Ray was a terrible man who did terrible things. He was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive to his family. He was mean. He was uneducated, and ate to the degree that he grew to be over 500 lbs. The narrator questions what it was that killed his father: diabetes, sleep apnea, clogged arteries, heart attack, high cholesterol, high blood pressure…the list goes on. But health problems like these are to be expected when you are that obese. Big Ray was larger than life, literally and figuratively. Now that he’s gone, his son is stuck with the mixed emotions of missing his father, feeling guilty that he didn’t immediately know he had died, anger at all his dad had done over the years, and ultimately the relief of having him out of his life.
The first lines of the book reminded me of Camus’s famous first lines to The Stranger, but there are deep, powerful emotions at work in this book, and as much as our narrator would like to present himself as possessing stoicism, he is no Meursault. Big Ray will be very difficult for some to read, and there is some very explicit content, so sensitive readers should be warned. I think this book will especially affect anybody who has ever wished for their parents to be dead, but not really, who ever both feared and loved somebody in their life, and anybody who knows that families are not ideal entities but complex and often painful.
Make no mistake, Big Ray was a terrible man who did terrible things. He was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive to his family. He was mean. He was uneducated, and ate to the degree that he grew to be over 500 lbs. The narrator questions what it was that killed his father: diabetes, sleep apnea, clogged arteries, heart attack, high cholesterol, high blood pressure…the list goes on. But health problems like these are to be expected when you are that obese. Big Ray was larger than life, literally and figuratively. Now that he’s gone, his son is stuck with the mixed emotions of missing his father, feeling guilty that he didn’t immediately know he had died, anger at all his dad had done over the years, and ultimately the relief of having him out of his life.
The first lines of the book reminded me of Camus’s famous first lines to The Stranger, but there are deep, powerful emotions at work in this book, and as much as our narrator would like to present himself as possessing stoicism, he is no Meursault. Big Ray will be very difficult for some to read, and there is some very explicit content, so sensitive readers should be warned. I think this book will especially affect anybody who has ever wished for their parents to be dead, but not really, who ever both feared and loved somebody in their life, and anybody who knows that families are not ideal entities but complex and often painful.
dsbressette's review against another edition
3.0
Tough one to read....this book was written in a way unlike other novels. Some parts of it were heartbreaking, some were deeply disturbing and some were amusing. I think I will need to think about this one further....
helpfulsnowman's review against another edition
5.0
Wow. Of course, wow.
"I'm awake and my father is dead. It's snowing and my father is dead. I'm hungry and my father is dead"
Whatever Michael Kimball chooses to explore, he does it right. He's an incredible writer and has a way of taking a story, boiling it down, and simplifying it without sacrificing any of the flavor.
His books have always stayed with me in a way that's difficult to describe. I tend to be short on memory for book plots and quotes, but I'm long on memory for how a book made me feel. By the time you finish this book, that feeling will be inescapable. Which is why it took me so long to read it. I knew that it would be like this.
I know it's hard to convince people to read a book that's a downer. This most certainly falls into that category. But it's a downer in the best possible way. I personally guarantee that you won't walk away feeling manipulated or like you were tricked into feeling a certain way. This isn't a book where we're having a great time until the dog dies. It makes no mistake about what it is, and you can read this excerpt and see if maybe you'd like it: http://www.vice.com/read/my-father-at-the-end-0000191-v19n6
My personal advice, however, is to get it and read it cover to cover. It's so much more than the sum of its beautiful, tragic, awe-inspiring parts.
"I tie my shoes in the morning and my dad is dead. It's lunchtime and my dad is dead. I get the mail and my dad is dead. It's sunny outside and my dad is dead. I'm happy right now and my dad is dead."
"I'm awake and my father is dead. It's snowing and my father is dead. I'm hungry and my father is dead"
Whatever Michael Kimball chooses to explore, he does it right. He's an incredible writer and has a way of taking a story, boiling it down, and simplifying it without sacrificing any of the flavor.
His books have always stayed with me in a way that's difficult to describe. I tend to be short on memory for book plots and quotes, but I'm long on memory for how a book made me feel. By the time you finish this book, that feeling will be inescapable. Which is why it took me so long to read it. I knew that it would be like this.
I know it's hard to convince people to read a book that's a downer. This most certainly falls into that category. But it's a downer in the best possible way. I personally guarantee that you won't walk away feeling manipulated or like you were tricked into feeling a certain way. This isn't a book where we're having a great time until the dog dies. It makes no mistake about what it is, and you can read this excerpt and see if maybe you'd like it: http://www.vice.com/read/my-father-at-the-end-0000191-v19n6
My personal advice, however, is to get it and read it cover to cover. It's so much more than the sum of its beautiful, tragic, awe-inspiring parts.
"I tie my shoes in the morning and my dad is dead. It's lunchtime and my dad is dead. I get the mail and my dad is dead. It's sunny outside and my dad is dead. I'm happy right now and my dad is dead."
koby's review against another edition
3.0
"I don't know if my sister remembers what I remember. We were haunted by him in different ways."
Daniel's father was over 500lbs when he died and the weight of his death (sorry, bad pun) sits heavily on Daniel. In short sections, almost like bursts of thought, Daniel grapples with his complicated relationship with his father, a man he did not like, yet would talk to daily on the phone. Anyone who has a complicated relationship with a family member - and who doesn't have at least one? - will emphasize with Daniel's dilemma.
This was a dark book that allowed the reader to experience the narrator's struggle with him. I'd probably lean more toward 3.5 stars, but I'll put 3.
Daniel's father was over 500lbs when he died and the weight of his death (sorry, bad pun) sits heavily on Daniel. In short sections, almost like bursts of thought, Daniel grapples with his complicated relationship with his father, a man he did not like, yet would talk to daily on the phone. Anyone who has a complicated relationship with a family member - and who doesn't have at least one? - will emphasize with Daniel's dilemma.
This was a dark book that allowed the reader to experience the narrator's struggle with him. I'd probably lean more toward 3.5 stars, but I'll put 3.
gildius's review against another edition
3.0
Read my review on my blog:
http://www.50ayear.com/2012/08/28/23-big-ray-michael-kimball/
http://www.50ayear.com/2012/08/28/23-big-ray-michael-kimball/
samstillreading's review against another edition
4.0
Big Ray may be a fairly short book at just 182 pages, but its contents certainly do punch well above its weight. Weight being one of the main topics covered in this reflective, semi-autobiographical book in 500 entries, matching the weight of Daniel’s father, Big Ray, when he passed away.
Each entry tells the reader a snippet of life with Big Ray. As the entries accumulate, my feelings became confused. Should I feel sorry for this large man with numerous medical problems whose activities were restricted by his size? When I read about the abuse his wife and children received at his hands, I felt guilty about feeling sorry for him. When I read about Daniel trying to relate to Big Ray, I felt sorry for them both.
You might have guessed now that this slim novel carries a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s powerful, and kudos to Michael Kimball for being able to communicate so much in just a few sentences. It’s easy to feel Daniel’s pain and conflicting emotions. This novel packs as big a punch as a 500 page chunkster. It describes the complexities of family relationships – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is also somewhat of a journal of discovery for Daniel, as he adjusts to life without a father, examining the man he both loved and hated.
I enjoyed how Kimball examined the feelings of his protagonist in this novel, leading up to a big punch where Big Ray’s character (and our sympathies) completely changed. This is emotion laid bare, told succinctly and directly. Definitely worth a read.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia for the ARC.
Each entry tells the reader a snippet of life with Big Ray. As the entries accumulate, my feelings became confused. Should I feel sorry for this large man with numerous medical problems whose activities were restricted by his size? When I read about the abuse his wife and children received at his hands, I felt guilty about feeling sorry for him. When I read about Daniel trying to relate to Big Ray, I felt sorry for them both.
You might have guessed now that this slim novel carries a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s powerful, and kudos to Michael Kimball for being able to communicate so much in just a few sentences. It’s easy to feel Daniel’s pain and conflicting emotions. This novel packs as big a punch as a 500 page chunkster. It describes the complexities of family relationships – the good, the bad and the ugly. It is also somewhat of a journal of discovery for Daniel, as he adjusts to life without a father, examining the man he both loved and hated.
I enjoyed how Kimball examined the feelings of his protagonist in this novel, leading up to a big punch where Big Ray’s character (and our sympathies) completely changed. This is emotion laid bare, told succinctly and directly. Definitely worth a read.
Thank you to Bloomsbury Australia for the ARC.
simsarah79's review against another edition
4.0
This slim book packs a punch. Basically bit thoughts loosely piecing together what this author has dealt with with his father. It says it's a novel but I read that it's autobiographical but slated as fiction so he had more control over it. His dad was something. It was hard to read at times, well written but just borders on the abusive line where the reader feels uncomfortable. Having had a childhood not entirely dissimilar I could empathize deeply but could also be grateful that it wasn't that bad, that other people of course have it much worse.
quick and interesting and raw.
quick and interesting and raw.
melanie_page's review against another edition
5.0
“Having a dead father is distracting.”
Big Ray: the morbidly obese father whom you experience like the first big hill of a roller coaster. Of course, going up the hill it’s not so bad and you wonder why everyone else feels apprehension; you just don’t get it. Then, when things get scary, it happens fast and you’re not ready because you felt so superior in the first place. Narrator Daniel Todd Carrier learns of his father’s death and processes the relationship with the man everyone called “Big” Ray. A lot of what Daniel tells seems normal-ish (throw in some humiliation and occasional hitting), and the hatred for his father reads as exaggerated. It’s a familiar story. Most of the book the reader goes up the hill, and it’s not until the very end that things get really terrible.
The most impressive feat of Kimball is his ability to do two things at once, all the time. Because Big Ray’s father killed a litter of kittens, Daniel isn’t allowed to have pets: “As some kind of shiny consolation, my parents would buy me glossy photobooks of cats and dogs for my birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes, when I was feeling particularly lonely, I would pull one of the glossy photobooks down from the bookshelf in my bedroom and starting naming the cats or the dogs.” Funny and Sad.
It’s easy to write about loving or hating someone, but how does one accomplish both, even three sentences apart? Daniel notes his father’s love of grilling and how “he didn’t like even a hint of blood in his cooked meat. The fire colored his face mean. Sometimes, in the mornings before school, my father would look at the way I was dressed and say, ‘Looking sharp.’ That always made me feel really good.” Hateful and Reassuring.
Kimball’s style takes you along in a familiar manner, assuming you’ve read his other books. His simple sentences do a lot of emotional work. Daniel claims, “It was physically exhausting having a dead father.” Each word is so precise, as Daniel appears sympathetic and cold. Kimball also captures complexity by manipulating vowel sounds: “For most of my life, I have been afraid of my father. After he died, I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead.” After pairing the soft A sounds of “father” and “afraid” twice, “relieved” is emphasized by how sharp the E’s are in contrast.
Kimball’s novel is fascinating for the work it accomplishes in so little space and reminds us that we need not be complicated to express our complexities.
Big Ray: the morbidly obese father whom you experience like the first big hill of a roller coaster. Of course, going up the hill it’s not so bad and you wonder why everyone else feels apprehension; you just don’t get it. Then, when things get scary, it happens fast and you’re not ready because you felt so superior in the first place. Narrator Daniel Todd Carrier learns of his father’s death and processes the relationship with the man everyone called “Big” Ray. A lot of what Daniel tells seems normal-ish (throw in some humiliation and occasional hitting), and the hatred for his father reads as exaggerated. It’s a familiar story. Most of the book the reader goes up the hill, and it’s not until the very end that things get really terrible.
The most impressive feat of Kimball is his ability to do two things at once, all the time. Because Big Ray’s father killed a litter of kittens, Daniel isn’t allowed to have pets: “As some kind of shiny consolation, my parents would buy me glossy photobooks of cats and dogs for my birthdays and Christmas. Sometimes, when I was feeling particularly lonely, I would pull one of the glossy photobooks down from the bookshelf in my bedroom and starting naming the cats or the dogs.” Funny and Sad.
It’s easy to write about loving or hating someone, but how does one accomplish both, even three sentences apart? Daniel notes his father’s love of grilling and how “he didn’t like even a hint of blood in his cooked meat. The fire colored his face mean. Sometimes, in the mornings before school, my father would look at the way I was dressed and say, ‘Looking sharp.’ That always made me feel really good.” Hateful and Reassuring.
Kimball’s style takes you along in a familiar manner, assuming you’ve read his other books. His simple sentences do a lot of emotional work. Daniel claims, “It was physically exhausting having a dead father.” Each word is so precise, as Daniel appears sympathetic and cold. Kimball also captures complexity by manipulating vowel sounds: “For most of my life, I have been afraid of my father. After he died, I was afraid to be a person without a father, but I also felt relieved he was dead.” After pairing the soft A sounds of “father” and “afraid” twice, “relieved” is emphasized by how sharp the E’s are in contrast.
Kimball’s novel is fascinating for the work it accomplishes in so little space and reminds us that we need not be complicated to express our complexities.