Reviews with content warning for Deadnaming - Always the Almost

Always the Almost was a contemporary fiction romantic drama about a trans boy (he/him) who loves piano and has just recently come out of the closet, only to be dumped by his boyfriend. This is a lighthearted and emotional coming of age story that doubles as a gorgeous love letter to classical piano music.

Content Warnings

nyquillll's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted reflective sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.5

Wow. This was my first story I’ve read about a transgender main character, and the second I’ve read about two young men falling in love. Though I am cisgender and a woman, I really enjoyed this book and learning more about being transgender and young and in love and all the complexities that come with those overlapping identities.

I think what I appreciated most about the book is the care and intention behind Miles’ experiences that are talked about and how sensitive topics are talked about. As the author, who is also transgender, writes in a note before the novel begins, this book is largely about trans joy but it also doesn’t shy away from some of the harsher realities of being transgender.

The book touches on gender expression, gender identity, gender dysphoria/body dysphoria, sexual orientation, the messiness of dating within a friend group, the highs and lows of high school, the love and dedication of being a musician/a pianist, the confusing and twisting path to finding yourself, the scars we carry from past wrongs and our attempts to find and do better in the present, radical acceptance and love, taking responsibility for the hurt we cause and trying to make amends, the pains of being a teenager in high school and the heavy insecurities, the exhilaration that comes from accepting who we truly are and being brave enough to be who we are even if we’re scared, the importance of building strong community around you, not basing your identity on what you do but who you are, and lots of wholesome trans joy and trans love.

I am grateful to this author and this book for opening my mind to new perspectives, especially as I attempt to navigate my own gender expression and gender identity.

Content Warnings

Moderate: Deadnaming, Transphobia, and Dysphoria

Some of my favorite quotes:

”But they take up space in a different way. More of our space belongs to them.”

"Shane: [shedding a manly tear] I love you."

"It's a message from Eric...Five seconds later...Three seconds after that..."

"I got worried you might be lactose intolerant or something..."

"My stomach goes all light again. He called me sir. Like it was easy. Like it was nothing."

"u didn't tell me there were glaciers here."

"I am a gay trans boy who plays the piano because it's the only time I don't have to explain myself in order to feel whole."

"I just meant that I see you as a guy. And I still would, you know, if you were in drag. Or whatever. You're a guy."

"Sometimes it's how I feel. Both, or neither."

"'Like you don't know where you fit in?' 'More like I do, it's just not in either of the available slots.'"

"I like your name...It's distance...literal miles...plenty of distance for you to go. Paths to take you can't see yet. It matches you. you can go as far as you want."

"It's funny what a difference a few inches makes. I don't have to look up so far to meet Eric's eyes...and he never seems to look down on me."

"He smiles, tentatively. 'You're a person.'"

"Let the music help you with your technique, so the technique becomes the phrasing."

"It's about the choices I make to build a story - where the music is coming from and where it's going."

"Miles, I see you as everything you tell me you are or want to be."

"Well, you're not the same as the person I thought I knew, but you're more you. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like - I dunno - you couldn't be you."

"All of that was about you."

"All I feel is terrible. For Paige. For Rachel. For the ways they kind of match up but don't fit together."

"This is your jazz tie."

"For Miles, xo Dad."

"A pause. 'Would this be our friend Eric, the reindeer-hat-man?'"

"...he gets it. Rewriting and rewriting myself, because he did the same thing...He's not switching genders or names or pronouns, but he's still choosing who he wants to be. Finding yourself, in spite of everyone else."

bisonprints's review against another edition

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funny hopeful lighthearted reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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_moonsongenthusiast_'s review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

3.75

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space_pancake's review against another edition

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funny lighthearted relaxing

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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mel_muses's review against another edition

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3.5

"Finding yourself, in spite of everyone else."

Thank you to Wednesday Books for providing me with an eARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review!

I loved a lot of things about this book, but I think what gets me the most is how YA it feels. I love a lot of things about queer YA: the messy characters, self-discovery, understanding of others, the unparalleled feeling of joy. But I think the true heart of why it means so much and why it is a genre that feels like home is that queer YA authors pour so much love into their books. And that is certainly true for Always the Almost.

So, what's it about? Always the Almost follows Miles, a pianist who's just come out as a trans guy to his friends and family. When New Year's comes around, he finds himself missing his ex-boyfriend, who broke up with Miles after he came out. Logically, as any (un)reasonable teenager would, Miles makes a resolution to win his ex back. He also decides that this year will be the time he beats his insufferable piano rival. Then when Miles comes back to school following winter break, he meets the new kid in town, Eric. Eric is everything Shane (the ex) was not. He's comfortably queer, understanding, intuitive, and cute in an entirely different way. He makes Miles feel things.

Always the Almost is a story about all those typical queer YA feelings; it's about feeling as if everything you do almost enough, but not quite there — like you can never truly be yourself. And while I am not trans myself, just this base feeling of always having to reach farther is something I can painfully relate to. And it also really warms my heart to think about all the trans kids who might pick up this book and see themselves in it — who might relate to Miles even more than I did.

I loved the progression of Miles' music throughout the book. I honestly felt Miles rise up to the challenge, and struggle to find himself in his piano playing. I loved watching his understanding and self-discovery influence his passion. It's such a real, beautiful thing to let your personality seep into your hobbies and passions.

I absolutely adored Eric. He was so understanding and caring, and he always knew what to say — or at least he always clarified. I loved his development as the love interest and supporting character for Miles' journey. Although I gotta say that I was not a big fan of Miles' friends. Maybe they reminded me too much of people I know in real life, or maybe they were just simply a lil too messy for even my messy heart. But I did really appreciate their respective life experiences and character arcs. They felt real, and they weren't perfect, but I could tell they cared. Maybe they weren't always the best friends to Miles, but we've all got our own problems to deal with.

And Miles. Oh, Miles. He made so many mistakes. Like, mistakes that I saw coming chapters ahead and wanted to just grip him by the shoulders and yell at him for. But that's kinda why I'm reading, isn't it? To see him mess up and come back from it. To see the "epic highs and lows" of... piano?? competitions??? (ok sorry, I'll stop now) But anyway I really liked him as a person and a protagonist, messy in everything he is.

Always the Almost is so joyful. It's a story of a gay trans guy. A story of a piano player. A story of a true teenager. It's a story about messing up and finding love and messing up again and coming back and doing it again, and again, and again. It's a story about understanding others as well as yourself. It's a warm hug to queer YA as a genre, and a read to make you smile. It's happiness in the face of darker moments. It's joy.

Content Warnings: transphobia, deadnaming, homophobia, bullying, mentions of racism, infidelity (kiss), gender dysphoria

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elenushka8's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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conlmar's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Fell in love with the characters, plot and character development progressed naturally, happy to be along for the ride. Especially love Miles' relationship with piano, and how it was clearly written by someone with music experience.

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