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3.77 AVERAGE
3.77 AVERAGE
Intense doesn't even begin to describe this. But, it's such a worthwhile read for anyone overcoming loss (and it's not just death. Loss comes in many forms.). Plus, after reading this, I think I'll be better prepared to support friends when they face their own struggles. Powerful, powerful book.
Everyone should read this. It not only builds empathy but offers a toolbox for how to help friends or co-workers who are dealing with tragedy. Every single word rang true to my experiences of both death and trauma. I wish I could just hand out chapters of this book to people who were scared to talk to me when my cousins kept dying
When life does not go according to what you have planned, this book gives good advice for moving forward. In other words, pursuing Option B. When Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg, lost her husband unexpectedly, she thought she and her children may never experience true happiness again. Sandberg shares her experience working through grief and tells how others have persevered in difficult circumstances. She and her co-author, Adam Grant, give a blueprint for overcoming hardship and being resilient when facing grief and loss.
NDWC Shared Read Fall 2017, had separate local meeting
NDWC Shared Read Fall 2017, had separate local meeting
This was one of those slowly but surely books for me - read in spurts over a long period of time and differentially impactful depending on my mindset. There is no doubt that Sheryl Sandberg's experiences, perspectives, and examples ring true, especially in the earlier chapters for me, but I tended to get lost in a sea of names and anecdotes in the later chapters. Regardless, this is definitely a book I'll come back to time and again for the enduring lessons.
I found this to be quite a compelling read and very much enjoyed the style of writing which I thought was similar to [b:Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead|16071764|Lean In Women, Work, and the Will to Lead|Sheryl Sandberg|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1364250803s/16071764.jpg|21865596]. It's written very much from Sandberg's own experience of the sudden loss of her husband, and is filled with anecdotes from her life and those around her. Interspersed amongst this are scientific and psychological studies on why she might have felt a certain way or what the appropriate action or advice might be for certain situations.
I don't think it's right to approach this as THE definitive guide to dealing with loss and grief as it doesn't go deep enough into the details. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed learning more about what it's like on the other side and have developed more empathy and knowledge around the subject matter.
I don't think it's right to approach this as THE definitive guide to dealing with loss and grief as it doesn't go deep enough into the details. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed learning more about what it's like on the other side and have developed more empathy and knowledge around the subject matter.
That was a tough read as you really don't want to think about such a tragedy happening to you.
Option B is good handbook that provides research-backed advice on how to deal with the stuffs life throws at you. Grant and Sandberg's writing is well-paced, structured, and easy to read. Others have different opinions on this, but I personally really appreciated Sandberg sharing her personal stories. I think of reading this book as packing additional emotional tools for now and later.
Particularly liked the story she told of someone who just called and said, “what do you not want on a burger." Decision fatigue overwhelmed me when I lost my dad, and the best thing my friends did for me was to bring me food and just... Hang. It let me know they were there for me.
It's not easy to sit with someone bawling their eyes out (and maybe some people really do prefer to grieve in private, I can't speak for everyone). You may wish there was more you could do. But really, it helps. Just be there.
Particularly liked the story she told of someone who just called and said, “what do you not want on a burger." Decision fatigue overwhelmed me when I lost my dad, and the best thing my friends did for me was to bring me food and just... Hang. It let me know they were there for me.
It's not easy to sit with someone bawling their eyes out (and maybe some people really do prefer to grieve in private, I can't speak for everyone). You may wish there was more you could do. But really, it helps. Just be there.
It's good to know that through the written word, Sandberg and Grant and their thoughtful insights/ guidance will be easily accessible to those who someday will be searching for shelter from a storm...Reading Option B encouraged me to have faith in my abilities to weather the tough things in life that I've yet to experience.
The book is probably good for people who are going through a loss or for helping understand how to help support someone in their loss, however, I found it not very helpful.
Also, there were too many, “We (society) must _______” statements that showcased a single view than I would have liked but overall it was an ok book.
Oh, and I really am not a fan when authors say things like, “As I wrote in my other book” or similar statements—I can’t help but feel like they are shameless plugs.
There were a few good points.
The 3 P’s:
Personalization: The belief that we are at fault.
Pervasiveness: The belief that an event will affect all areas of our life.
Permanence: The belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever.
Interesting finding:
In classic experiments on stress, people perform tasks that required concentration, like solving puzzles, while being blasted at random intervals with uncomfortably loud sounds. They started sweating and their heart rates and blood pressures climbed. They struggled to focus and made mistake. Many got so frustrated that they gave up. Searching for a way to reduce anxiety, researchers gave some of the participants an escape. If the noise became too unpleasant, they could press a button and make it stop. Sure enough, the button allowed them to stay calmer, make fewer mistakes, and show less irritation. That’s not surprising, but here’s what is: none of the participants actually pressed the button. Stopping the noise didn’t make the difference, rather, knowing that they could stop the noise did. The button gave them a sense of control and I allowed them to endure the stress. When people are in pain they need a button.
Also, there were too many, “We (society) must _______” statements that showcased a single view than I would have liked but overall it was an ok book.
Oh, and I really am not a fan when authors say things like, “As I wrote in my other book” or similar statements—I can’t help but feel like they are shameless plugs.
There were a few good points.
The 3 P’s:
Personalization: The belief that we are at fault.
Pervasiveness: The belief that an event will affect all areas of our life.
Permanence: The belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever.
Interesting finding:
In classic experiments on stress, people perform tasks that required concentration, like solving puzzles, while being blasted at random intervals with uncomfortably loud sounds. They started sweating and their heart rates and blood pressures climbed. They struggled to focus and made mistake. Many got so frustrated that they gave up. Searching for a way to reduce anxiety, researchers gave some of the participants an escape. If the noise became too unpleasant, they could press a button and make it stop. Sure enough, the button allowed them to stay calmer, make fewer mistakes, and show less irritation. That’s not surprising, but here’s what is: none of the participants actually pressed the button. Stopping the noise didn’t make the difference, rather, knowing that they could stop the noise did. The button gave them a sense of control and I allowed them to endure the stress. When people are in pain they need a button.
This is hardly a book about resilience as a phenomenon, but rather a book about Sandberg’s experience with grief, loss and resilience. It feels very intimate and the stories she shares are personal and can hardly be generalized to a larger group of people. Still, it was interesting to me to read about her experience and think about my own.